Sex...

KingsGirl4 · January 2015

At 8.5 months postpartum, I'm still not really enjoying sex. I am EBing, so I know my estrogen levels are low at the moment, which will cause some physical effects. I also had to have a small episiotomy, and it just doesn't feel the same. I don't know if it is the physical changes or the extra mental and emotional changes that effecting me most. We still have it, but I have only really "enjoyed" it maybe twice since baby got here. Anyone else still not really feeling in the mood?

janellemj928 · January 2015

I quit pumping just before Thanksgiving and I'm finally starting to feel better about sex. Up until that point, I had no interest in it.

michaelad3 · January 2015

It still hurts for me. I'm wondering when that's going to stop. I also BF.

Jodash24 · January 2015

I'd rather have an early night :-\"

csmily51 · January 2015

I had an episiotomy too, and we found that using some lube, really helped to lube and stretch down there, making it easier and eventually less painful. I hope it starts to get better for you. Also, I stopped BF at 6 months, and it took about 2 months for me to feel 100%.

juniper75 · January 2015

Jodash24 said:
I'd rather have an early night :-\"

This is me right now. It doesn't hurt anymore but i have no desire. Hoping it comes back when I stop nursing. DH is getting angry about it and not very supportive.

michaelad3 · January 2015

I think for me, at this point, it's becoming psychosomatic. I expect it to hurt, so I am tense and probably make it worse. Lube does help. My desire is there sometimes, but usually not. Sex is rare, but I don't really miss it.

cnbean · January 2015

I think some of that is just from having a kid period, and some of it sounds like its probably related to BFing. I know that after DS1 was born sex was the last thing I wanted. My desire was pretty much gone and the last thing I wanted was someone else all over me. As he got older that changed and out sex life came back, though its not what it was before kids. Sleep trumps all. I didn't BF very long at all so I can't speak to that.

kmos816 · January 2015

DH and I have always been more into afternoon sex- so it's been difficult to find time! I've had some interest but not as much as before. I stopped pumping/bfing around Christmas.

Rrrrrachel · January 2015

I'm always a little appalled in these kinds of conversations by the number of women saying their husbands are mad they're not having sex. You do not owe anyone sex. It is not his due. I get that both people's needs matter but being mad at your spouse because they won't have sex with you is out of line and pretty misogynistic.

edoliesmom · January 2015

This just happened after I played a word. Didn't rearrange it or anything! Lolz.

CalinAZ · January 2015

Sorry you're dealing with this. As someone who's had chronic vaginal pain since I was 18 and has never had non-painful sex, I'd like to gently suggest that those of you who are feeling limited by pain take some time to enjoy sex without the intercourse! It is a fantastic way to be intimate, allows both of you to feel satisfied, and no fear or risk of pain. Painful sex wears on you emotionally and I found caused resentment in me towards DH (and I'm supremely lucky to have a husband that is okay saving intercourse for babymaking and doing "everything but" the rest of the time). I can imagine that some husbands might not be quite as into it if they are not used to foreplay being the end game, but it's definitely worth a shot, especially if it'll get them some action

SoulTermination · January 2015

EBF, no desire at all. Last time we tried a few weeks ago, it STILL hurt too much to even get it in, even with a literal teaspoon of lube in there.

I'm pretty sure my OB stitched me up wrong after my tear... =/

nycgirlkat · January 2015

I only BFed for a month due to supply and latching issues. For me the meds I'm taking for PPD have a side effect of low sex drive and difficulty losing weight (Yeesh). So sometimes the drive for me is there, but I have trouble "sealing the deal" so it gets frustrating. But we work on it!! :-)

nycgirlkat · January 2015

I only BFed for a month due to supply and latching issues. For me the meds I'm taking for PPD have a side effect of low sex drive and difficulty losing weight (Yeesh). So sometimes the drive for me is there, but I have trouble "sealing the deal" so it gets frustrating. But we work on it!! :-)

chichi589 · January 2015

Things have been much easier since I stopped bfing at 6 months. It took about a month from that to feel normal again. Partially it's in my head though because I was a little traumatized from the stitches and hurt from that. Lube helped an incredible amount getting my confidence back.

KingsGirl4 · January 2015

Thanks everyone. I will be BFing for at least a year, maybe longer, so I guess I'll just have to wait. I agree, lube does help allot, but it does still hurt initially. It's encouraging to hear that things have gotten back to normal for so many of you! There is hope for me yet!

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