Community› The Bump Message Boards› 1st Trimester
1st Trimester
New Discussion

First Baby of a Control Freak... Where do I even start??

lovebirdskklovebirdskk member
in 1st Trimester
My husband and I have been married for 2 years and 6 months. We were TTC for only 4 months and found out we were pregnant on Christmas Day! We told our families right away (even if the pregnancy doesn't go to term, I want the support of my loved ones). We are both hoping for a girl, but in 3 generation of my husbands family there has been only one girl! Crossing our fingers....

My doctor wants to wait till 8 weeks to see me, I can hardly wait!! The doctor I scheduled an appointment with is just my OBGYN office that I've seen since I was a teenager, but I'm not sure how I feel about them and I need some feedback from you! First of all, the office and hospital are about 30 minutes from my house, does that matter?? Second, in the office they have like 8 OBs and a bunch of midwives and you just rotate through whoever is available, does anyone have experience with this?

Another big reason I think I want to find a new OB is because I really want someone who will support my right to be in charge of my body. I was a nursing student in some of the hospitals around me and just saw so many women get walked all over and their choices not respected (OB's doing episiotomies even though the patient refused, labors induced for no reason, etc). I want a natural birth (possibly water birth), delayed cord clamping, my placenta to be preserved, and a few other things that are considered to be abnormal and I'm having a really hard time getting support. I want my baby to be safe and I'm not crazy, but where can I find a decent OB?!

I am a bit of a control freak (I ended up firing my wedding planner because she disagreed with too many of my wishes) and I like to be VERY informed and involved and it is a rare thing to find someone who supports that. Can any of you relate? What things have you thought about with your baby choices?

HELP
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt196c5f.aspx" alt=" BabyFetus Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
Report Reply to Post

Re: First Baby of a Control Freak... Where do I even start??

  • lovebirdskklovebirdskk member
    edited January 2015
    14whitney:

    They do rotate around, I don't know if that's good or bad or if it even affects things much. I guess that was more my question. Because so many people say that they got a random OB they had never met because they delivered in the middle of the night and their doc wasn't on-call that night or something.

    So far not at risk except that I'm taking some medications, so I'll have to look into some midwives. Its not that I haven't done the research, I have, Its just hard to tell from online stuff who is good and whatnot.

    summergirl1211:
    When I was a nursing student, all of the nurses mocked and degraded mothers' birth plans all day, they didn't take them seriously at all. Not that I won't still make one....

    Do you think I should get a doula as well as a midwife? Is it worth the money?
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt196c5f.aspx" alt=" BabyFetus Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • RudiiiRudiii member
    My doctor's office has four OBs and I will also be rotated around to get to know all of them. This is because of the rotating call schedule for the hospital delivery. I'd love to only see the doctor I've been with for a decade, but I know she won't be available at all times. Just one of the many things I know I'll probably have to let go of throughout this pregnancy. But I definitely trust my practice to do what is right for me and baby, and I hope you find the same wherever you go.
    Report Reply
  • MrsCarroll.6-10-07MrsCarroll.6-10-07 member
    My office has multiple doctors and a midwife and nurse practioner. I actually like it this way. I get to see them all throughout my pregnancy, so they know what's going on. They remember me by now, 4th baby here, and I like that I don't have to wait if a doctor is busy. One office I used to go to I had an apt and I had to wait 2 hours because of a birth. What if I was having issues and the OB was busy? That sucks. Talk to the doctors and find one you eventually feel comfy with. In my mind they are the ones trained in when they need to do what, if you are comfy with them making some decisions because they went to school for it, then go with them. Otherwise you might have a pregnancy half full of just finding a new doctor to meet and chat with.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    September 2015 Siggy Challenge - Happy Dance
    image
    Report Reply
  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    You need to relax & learn the fine art of calm the eff down (CTFD). You are now along for the ride.


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    Also, my practice has 4 OB & 12 CNM -Midwives. You see everyone throughout your pregnancy & whoever is on call when you go into labor is who you get.


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • TeresaWETeresaWE member
    First, congrats on your pregnancy.
    My office had 5 OBs, I met them all before delivery so I would at least have a passing knowledge of the person catching.
    A birth plan is just that, a plan. Know that it is not set in stone, so if you do write one, it doesn't mean it will stay the plan.
    I suggest seeking help with your need to have such tight control of everything. You cannot control every aspect of your pregnancy and birth. Learn to meditate, take a yoga class, practice being here and present.
    Also, interview your OBs and find one who is onboard with your wishes.
    I also agree with above Posters who advised looking at Midwives if possible. They are more inclined to a natural birth.
    Good luck and take a deep breath.
    Report Reply
  • schnitz9schnitz9 member
    My office has 15 docs and 5 midwives.  I actually love it. All the docs are really great and I like meeting them all. I specifically have made my appts with different ones so I can meet them all. I think its great this way because If my specific doc that I used to see isn't around when I go into labor its not some random doc filling in that I've never met.  It's also great making an appt. It's way more accommodating to my schedule as I can make an appt at anytime with any doc.  I live about 45 mins away from their main office (they have several offices throughout my city) and 45 mins from the hospital.  This does not worry me one bit.  As I am getting closer to my EDD I am actually happy to be delivering at the hospital I am.  Yes there are closer ones, but the one I'm at is one of the best in the state and a 40-45 min is well worth it in my eyes.  When I went for my tour they told me many women drive up to 2 hours to deliver there. I've noticed through out my pregnancy there really isn't much that I can control and I've just had to let everything go and just deal with it.  That's the best advice I could give.

    BTW: @aditgirl I just saw your siggy.  Congrats!!! I'm so jealous S15 has some pretty great ladies there!
    ****Siggy Warning***
    Me-35 Hubby-36

    CP-11/2013
    CP-4/2014
    BFP-06/2014-EDD 02/16/2015
    Valentine boy born 02/14/2015
    BFP-08/2016 MC 6wks
    Surprise BFP-09/13/16 EDD 5/26/17








      
                                 
    PitaPata Dog tickers







    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • YenisbabytwoYenisbabytwo member
    I and husband didn't want an epidural. After two days of labor. That's what I go. DD head was big and hard to come out.

    I didn't plan my birth to last for days. Baby did. Why?? Because they are in charge... The moment you conceive.
    Report Reply
  • ShuShubeeShuShubee member
    It really depends on the experience that you want. If you want to have a med-free birth, then a midwife is probably the way to go. Hiring a doula is also an excellent suggestion. My OB office has 4 OBs and I have only seen mine. Unless I deliver this weekend or next, she will be the one that will deliver my baby. I wanted a small practice and I checked to see which hospitals she was affiliated with. I personally did not want to deliver at a teaching hospital, for one.

    Others are right in that, at the end of the day, you have NO control over your pregnancy, labor, or delivery. That is all baby. You are in for a world of disappointment if you go into birth thinking that everything is going to go exactly as planned.
    image

     image
    Report Reply
  • laurasuzanne2006laurasuzanne2006 member
    Nursing school gave me the same thoughts. I see a mw for home birth
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"