BTDT Moms - labour anxiety

thegoodpotato · December 2014

Well, ladies, I'm 30 goddam weeks this week. How I got here, I just don't know!

But the realization has brought on some pretty high anxiety levels about L&D.

I had a VERY easy delivery with Amanda. Like, about as easy as it gets - 1 hour labour, six pushes, no tearing at all (we won't talk about how things went with Marnie). And yet I'm still stressed out about the prospect of doing it again.

I'm pretty confident things are going to be quick and easy, but just the thought of going through another exhausting delivery is..... Exhausting. And, don't get me wrong. There's no altruistic worry about baby. This is all selfish "woe is me" anxiety. I'm such a wuss.

Anyone want to share their anxiety with me?

michelle142 · December 2014

*raises hand*

I feel you, potato. I really do.

I had a fast, easy delivery with DS, but I'm so anxious about how things are going to go this time.

maryxc1 · December 2014

With DS, I was in labor for 27 hours, of which 22 were unmedicated. He was over 9 lbs with a large head so I had 2nd degree tears.

I am trying my very best to not even think about labor because it was so unfun. Ignore the situation because it is going to happen whether you think about it or not. :-)

digwriter · December 2014

Right there with you. I had a pretty good labor (with a glorious epidural mind you) and a fast delivery; however, I had some serious hemorrhaging about week after giving birth. I was in emerge, lost a lot of blood and stuff (I will spare you the and stuff details) in the middle of triage. So I am super worried about it happening again. Being examined by an emergency room doctor with 1 week old stitches for a 2nd degree tear is not a good time, so believe me I am terrified.

CogDis · December 2014

I'm a FTM, so I don't have any experience to draw on, and I'm super anxious. I'm almost 31 weeks and I actually have moved into denial that I have to birth this baby.

I had my first panic attack after almost 3 years without one when my SIL started to describe her delivery of my niece (hers was NOT normal).

Since then, everyone in my life has been instructed that L&D are inappropriate topics of convo.

cinnamonsugar · December 2014

Absolutely! I was just talking with DH about this last night. Last birth was an unplanned c/s and all this VBAC stuff and the possibility of another unplanned c/s is freaking me out.

thegoodpotato · December 2014

I had a terrible delivery with Marnie, and a great one with Amanda. So I feel like I should feel ok about this, considering I know how well things can go.

I did hemorrhage after both deliveries (worse with the first), so I know how terrible that makes you feel. And the chills and shakes after are THE WORST.

I know it's not that bad in the grand scheme of things. And I'm mostly not an anxious or worrisome type. I just have a hang up about labour.

mom2xover2002 · December 2014

It's been 12 years since I've given birth and I am anxious about goin through all this again. My first was scary bc he was a preemie and my second was fast, the epidural hurt the most.

I think the closer we all get we all have anxious moments about birth @thegoodpotato‌. After the past 2 unexpected birth announcements on here has helped to make the fact we are on the tail end of our pg and there will be little humans joining us all the more real.

Edited: posted before I could edit the last sentence.

lizzybean · December 2014

Yes ma'am. I'm trying to block it out, but I had a great birth experience with Ella. (aside from the pre-e, but my induction went as well as anyone could dream about).

I have shared with my H that I am freaked that I will not have as ideal as a delivery with Audrey.

Also, I am worried about going into labour naturally, which I know sounds ridiculous, I just haven't experienced yet!

misshart00 · December 2014

I have major anxiety. I'm glad I'm not the only one. Everyone says you just remember all the good and forget all the bad. Nope. I remember all the bad. I haven't had panic attacks or anything, but it has stressed me out.

wirtlehm · December 2014

FTM so I have nothing to bring to the table but I did have a minor panic attack yesterday when I realized that this baby has to come out whether I like it or not here in about 9 weeks... that single digit weekly count that was mentioned in a PP (yesterday) really has me thinking... :O I'M NOT REEEADY!

schnitz9 · December 2014

As a FTM the fear of the unknown is def getting to me. Plus with all my bad luck I'm terrified that it will follow me to delivery as well. I did feel a bot at ease after my hospital tour this weekend. OMG, I've never seen a hospital ward like this. It reminded me of a hotel. The room labor and delivery room is actually bigger than my whole apt was in NYC. I was huge with rockers, a huge bathroom with a jacuzzi tub, a big flat screen TV, and room for at least 30 people. They have all the medical equipment tucked away in a doored off room. So with the doors closed it really looks like a hotel room. I asked how much extra the room was and the nurse laughed and said it was their normal room and then laughed when I asked if I had to ever share a room. She was like no all the labor and delivery rooms and mother and baby rooms are all private. It def put my mind at ease and now I can really picture myself being comfortable when I'm there. They also said that the minimum stay would be 48 hours after a vaginal birth and 72 hours after a c-section. Love that! I'm always afraid I would have the baby in the morning and they would kick me out that night. Plus I spoke with my next door neighbor who happens to be one of the anesthesiologists there and she gave me the whole low-down and I feel much better on that end as well. Starting to feel a bit more ready now.

cloe111479 · December 2014

FTM here and having a bit of worry about it all. I have had a VERY easy pregnancy so far, so I have a horrible worry that since the pregnancy has been easy.. the labor is gonna to REALLY suck.

I know, I still have no real idea, but its' a worry in the back of my head.

Oem617 · December 2014

With DS is wasn't too bad, I have to admit. Thank God for drugs! I could have dealt with less than 2+ hours of pushing.

I have anxiety about this time. I think it's normal. Worse case sernanrio for me would be a c/s. That terrifies me. But my doctor/Hospital are very pro vaginal births, hence the 2+ hours pushing. I try not to think about it too much.

chickyclg · December 2014

The realization that I will be having a CS has finally sunk in. At first I was like no big deal I've had outpatient surgery right, now it's Holy Shit they are going to cut me open while I am awake. Then after that how am I going to take care of the babies while I am still healing.

Dani_Love · December 2014

I'm right there with you. With DD I had a scheduled c/s (breech) and freaked out about that too. This time I am hoping for a VBAC but I'm like FTM in a lot of ways. I never felt any labor, lost my mp, no contractions, no water breaking, absolutely nothing. I'm scared I won't know when it's real or that it's happening, and what will happen during. I'm hopeful my VBAC will be a success but I'm scared of going into labor, and ending up in a c/s. All around stressed.

erobbins09 · December 2014

FTM and I always said I wanted kids but I didn't want to like... Actually...physically have them...So pregnancy has been great! But the closer we get to the top of the roller coaster the more I realize I'm not getting off this ride without going through with the whole thing.

So guise, this is really happening.. I just need to keep telling myself that our bodies are meant to do this so between that and the pros on our sides we can do this. I don't know how much your experience mimics your moms but mine went from start to finish in 2.5 hours for both my sister and I and I'm scared I won't get there with enough time to get the juice (she missed her chance both times).

WanderingA · December 2014

Despite being long and drawn out, my delivery with Adeline was really easy - I labored for a long time but only pushed for 10 minutes and didn't have any tearing. I feel mixed about this labor; on one hand I feel less nervous because I know what to expect and on the other I'm terrified it's going to be harder than it was with her!

ordinary1 · December 2014

Last time I was hours away from a c-section. I am terrified of a c-section. I'm really hoping this time I progress better on my own. I'm definitely feeling the same anxiety as last time and it is (mostly) woe is me.

maryxc1 · December 2014

AprilRose1 said:

maryxc1 said:

With DS, I was in labor for 27 hours, of which 22 were unmedicated. He was over 9 lbs with a large head so I had 2nd degree tears.

I am trying my very best to not even think about labor because it was so unfun. Ignore the situation because it is going to happen whether you think about it or not. :-)

FTM here and this terrifies me. We had a growth ultrasound last week and he is already three pounds and his head is measuring three weeks ahead (rest of him one week - I'm having a bobble head). I keep telling myself that everything will even out, but DBF was 9lbs when he was born and I am a little person.

I didn't mean to scare you. DH's family always had big babies with big heads so I assumed I was doomed. The way I try to look at labor is that it is very unpleasant for a while, but the bad part will probably only be a few hours and I tell myself I can get through anything for just a few hours. Most of the time I believe myself.

mommaa1615 · December 2014

FTM and I am terrified. We toured the hospital which I thought would help but it really didnt. I too am trying to remind myself we are made to do this. I just keep thinking of meeting our sweet baby girl.

Wimcgrath · December 2014

FTM here, but I'm right there with ya. My sweet friends have been giving me information and telling me it will be fine, etc., but then some random person/ acquaintance will say something negative or scary and completely unhelpful. I'm already scared!!! Really hoping for no complications (aren't we all?), but I guess it is what it is...

agm04 · December 2014

CogDis said:

I'm a FTM, so I don't have any experience to draw on, and I'm super anxious. I'm almost 31 weeks and I actually have moved into denial that I have to birth this baby. I had my first panic attack after almost 3 years without one when my SIL started to describe her delivery of my niece (hers was NOT normal). Since then, everyone in my life has been instructed that L&D are inappropriate topics of convo.

WHY? I mean really why do people do this to pregnant women?!

RMSteele · December 2014

Labor with DS was terrible.. I'm pretty terrified it'll be the same this time around. My mom tries to make me feel better by saying that since I had it so bad last time that it's BOUND to be easier this time.. Thanks mom, not really helping.

ordinary1 · December 2014

I'm worried, also, about timing contractions. My water breaking was the first sign I was in labor, so I've never had to time contractions.

Oem617 · December 2014

sarabeller said:

I'm about to get all hippy-dippy on you. Have you thought about just surrendering to the labor? You're birthing your baby one way or another. Contractions are an involuntary uterine spasm, which means you don't have to work for them, just don't work against them. Relax, think about your body opening, and then just surrender.

I'm going to catch so much shit for this post.

I just tell myself lots of women give birth every day around the world. The female body does amazing things.

Mrs. Zee · December 2014

sarabeller said:

I'm about to get all hippy-dippy on you. Have you thought about just surrendering to the labor? You're birthing your baby one way or another. Contractions are an involuntary uterine spasm, which means you don't have to work for them, just don't work against them. Relax, think about your body opening, and then just surrender.

I'm going to catch so much shit for this post.

I just tell myself lots of women give birth every day around the world. The female body does amazing things.

I keep telling myself the same thing! And reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth has made me feel a little better. I am definitely still apprehensive about the whole thing...but @sarabeller‌ also has a good point. Will you be my birth coach???

foxslaw · December 2014

sarabeller said:
I'm about to get all hippy-dippy on you. Have you thought about just surrendering to the labor? You're birthing your baby one way or another. Contractions are an involuntary uterine spasm, which means you don't have to work for them, just don't work against them. Relax, think about your body opening, and then just surrender.

I'm going to catch so much shit for this post.

Your Austin is showing @sarabeller‌ .

kidding

Maple403 · December 2014

I am a FTM and I tend to obsessively worry about everything. That being said- I do not worry about L and D at all. I think that it literally overwhelms my worry center. You can't really plan much in advance, because things can always change (you may need a C section last minute, you may not; you may decide to go with an epidural, you may not, etc). DH and I are going in with a general plan but we are remaining open to the fact that anything can change at any time. For some reason, that takes the worry out.

Let's revisit this in another 4 weeks. Maybe my worrying will kick in. This is so atypical of me, it's hard to believe I'm not freaking out.

mishka29 · December 2014

@ordinary1‌ there's an app for that!

I decided to not worry the first time and just go with the flow - hard to do! I actually liked hearing people's labour stories - the good, the bad and the ugly - just to know about all the things that could happen. During labour I spent most of the time thinking to myself and trying to figure a way to get out of it. I never came up with anything other than just giving birth lol

MaryS001 · December 2014

@mishka29‌ @ordinary1‌ I actually wrote mine down, I was afraid I'd do something stupid and my app would erase them all (or my phone would die). I actually saved the paper that I wrote ctx times on and put it in Noah's baby book

FWIW, you only have to mark the time they begin- so 5 minutes apart is when you have one at 8:25 and another begins at 8:30. That was kinda in the fine print in my info packet from the midwives, wish it had been bold!

I'm a little leery of how time kind of stands still during labor. I had no perception of how long I had been in active labor, or pushing... Felt like forever, and people had to tell me about it after. I guess the good thing was, I was in "the zone." Seriously, something extraordinary happens when you're in labor.

twinklymama · December 2014

Hopefully this will help you feel better: I do not remember any pain.

Before I had baby #1, I was anxiously watching every woman that had a child and wondered, "How in the world is she living her life not constantly thinking about the pain of childbirth?" I figured I would be in lots of pain and never forget it. I figured I'd either tear or have an episiotomy. I could not wrap my head around going through that pain and being able to forget.

The thing is, I don't remember any of it. The things I remember are the joy that I felt in delivering my baby girl and how cold I felt. That's it. Not pain, nothing even kind of like it.

The body and brain are amazing things and even if you have a difficult or painful labor or delivery, it won't be long before you only see the good stuff when you look back. And you'll be trying to remember what a full night's sleep felt like. I-)

selly08 · December 2014

Anxious is not th right word for me! I am terrified. My body has never experienced any kinda pain at all in these 26yrs. I have never been to a hospital before for anything at all. So you all can imagine how I feel about l&d.

aetg · January 2015

@thegoodpotato I'm definitely feeling this anxiety almost more because my labor was so short. I basically just freaked out and went into shock. I wasn't having enough time between contractions to talk. But I've heard from other people with short labors that they didn't have the same experience so I'm hopeful.

I'm also kind of concerned because I'm using an Amish birth center and I have this weird idea in my head that Amish people are incredibly stoic giving birth and I'm going to be a screaming/crying mess. This probably has no basis in reality, but.....

mom2xover2002 · January 2015

@Trin42‌ having 2 under 2 isn't that bad. My oldest 2 are 11months 22 days apart.

I'm not to anxious about the labor if I go into it naturally. As of today I'm already 80% effaced but 0cm dilated. It's the "if my bp goes in the 160's" again and she wants to deliver that worries me. I really don't want to be induced or have a c-section. The thought of an epidural/needle in my spine freaks me the heck out. Yet the contractions I was having friday 2-3 minutes apart weren't bothering me at all.

Angeldcf · January 2015

I'm still in denial about how close L&D is. DS was born on his due date (not induced) so my mind thinks this baby can't arrive until due date. I've had B-H ctrx, but the past two days have been horrible- maybe post-Tdap?

ETA: sorry- realized this thread was older. Wondering how some girls were 30wks when I'm near the end of Feb. Dumb pg brain.

RedGiant · January 2015

I'm getting a little more nervous as the time draws near (potentially next week??). I'm a bit worried about tearing again. I had a 2nd degree tear with DS, and *TMI ALERT* after the stitches healed up my perineum has never been the same or as stretchy/flexible as before. So I'm worried that I'll end up tearing again and it'll just be worse. I guess I should be a little more diligent with working on perineal massage since I've heard that helps.

Randomly, @RMSteele I love your Simon Baker GIF

RMSteele · January 2015

@RedGiant Thanks! He's my current heartthrob

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