Nervous to tell anyone

mara005 · January 2015

So I'm feeling like a crazy person. Other than DH, my doctors, you ladies and my therapist (I wasn't going to tell her but she asked about our plans and I couldn't think of a lie to say to her), no one knows about my pregnancy. I'm just to scared!

I've seen my family twice since finding out and I didn't even have the urge to tell them. I don't want to have them asking me how I am or how I'm feeling and honestly I don't want to disappoint them again. I know I could never really disappoint them, but I would feel that way if something happens. I've had 2 u/s, both showing a strong heartbeat but I'm still so fearful.

I don't really know what I am asking but I feel like I need to get this out.

DenaMaree · January 2015

There is no reason to lie, but it's not unusual for ladies, especially when we've gone through a loss, not to tell family and friends through the first trimester. Of your asked simply say your looking forward to one day welcoming your rainbow, or that your hoping to share exciting news in the near future. Take everything day by day and remind yourself that today your pregnant and you love your baby! You'll know when your ready! Sending hugs!!

footprint · January 2015

I agree with PP. Whenever you feel ready is the absolute correct time to tell.

ETA I'm sorry you are afraid of disappointing people. I felt the exact same way even though logically I knew no one would be disappointed.

tlc35 · January 2015

I feel the same way about disappointing people. We told our families after we saw a HB but more because I was tired of hiding it than I was excited to tell them. Do what you feel is right. Sending hugs.

dawnstar898 · January 2015

Vent all you want, that's what we're hear for! Do what's comfortable for you. You know people won't actually be disappointed but I totally get where you're coming from. My parents are completely in the dark about everything.... I just didn't want to disappoint or make them sad. When you're ready, you'll know, or your bump will tell the tale!

tigerlynx31413 · January 2015

Hugs lady! It's ok to not tell until you are ready. Plus I doubt you could ever really disappoint your family! Keep your head up!

mrsjg2013 · January 2015

I understand your emotions. Big ((HUGS)). I felt that way when it was time to tell friends, but telling my family was an easy decision because I knew I would need their support in case of another loss. I looked at it this way- however long I was going to carry this beautiful little one for, I wanted him/her to be loved and celebrated while he/she was here, not just mourned once he/she was gone. Ultimately, it's a very personal decision that you should make only when you're ready.

kate6214 · January 2015

I'm in the tell them when you are ready camp. I called my mom right away, waited to tell immediate family until 8 weeks and then slowly told more after 13 weeks. I still haven't done a big public announcement but at this point most people can tell. It's really all at your own pace. If I knew my mom would pester me rather then be supportive then I would have held off on telling. Hang in there.

MoreThanSparrows08 · January 2015

((Hugs)) I told only three people outside of DH prior to 10 weeks, and only a few more then. We waited until 13-14 weeks before announcing publicly to all family and friends. If you're not ready to tell them, then don't. And don't feel bad for not telling them right away. That's your prerogative and choice, and you're the only one who can choose when to tell everyone

jeslillyn · January 2015

I can totally relate. Especially over the holidays I thought for sure I'd tell some family members but I had no desire to. I guess I'm just waiting for when I feel comfortable with it. Even if that's months away. Don't feel pressured or rushed. I think you'll know when the time is right . (((Hugs)))

jjbmstinco · January 2015

You are not alone. I am in the same boat. It will come in time. Try not to stress. You'll know when the time is right.

((hugs))

littlecookie · January 2015

Definitely not alone. I did tell my mom right away and a couple friends that I wanted to pray, but I didn't tell anyone else. Like Kate, I haven't made an announcement yet at 20 wks but it's pretty obvious at this point.

You're under no obligation to share until you're ready.

KMW08 · January 2015

snegde said:
My immediate family and closest friends knew because of IVF but everyone else didn't find out until 17 to 19 weeks. Don't tell until you are ready. Every time I was about to tell someone I had to use my doppler for reassurance.

This. My parents & IL's knew from day1 as I wanted their support this time. Dh's family was told at 12/13wks and my family at 15wks(announced during GTGs, that's why the time difference between telling the fams) I couldn't even announce for myself at my family, my mom had to do it and I was a nervous wreck after. Couldn't get home soon enough for a doppler check!

sgio7485 · January 2015

KMW08 said:

snegde said:
My immediate family and closest friends knew because of IVF but everyone else didn't find out until 17 to 19 weeks. Don't tell until you are ready. Every time I was about to tell someone I had to use my doppler for reassurance.

This. My parents & IL's knew from day1 as I wanted their support this time. Dh's family was told at 12/13wks and my family at 15wks(announced during GTGs, that's why the time difference between telling the fams) I couldn't even announce for myself at my family, my mom had to do it and I was a nervous wreck after. Couldn't get home soon enough for a doppler check!

I totally agree with these ladies. Only immediate family and very close friends knew before I was 14/15 weeks. And everytime I told someone, I was running for that doppler!

blackbird818 · January 2015

:::lurking:::

Just wanted to offer big (((hugs)))

mara005 · January 2015

Thank you so much ladies, it's good to know I'm not alone.

My doppler should be here Monday (make the week go faster!) and while I'm nervous to get it, I know it will help with my anxiety.

CheesyPeas · January 2015

I totally get it. I didn't really look forward to telling people about my daughter with my last pregnancy but still did right at the second trimester mark because I was afraid that I would start showing soon with her being my second. And then things went wrong with her pregnancy. So now, I already know that I don't plan to announce anything at work and will just let people figure it out on their own, and with family I will probably tell once I start showing. I feel like there's no way I can deal with people asking how I'm doing and feeling. Just no one in real life talk to me, okay?

I really hope your doppler brings you some peace of mind and that at some point in the near future you start feeling hopeful and excited. ((hugs))

MrsSnyder124 · January 2015

I hope you find tons of comfort when you receive your doppler! I agree with all the PPs, share when you are ready . *hugs*

Want a personalized experience?

Nervous to tell anyone

Re: Nervous to tell anyone

Choose Another Board

Search Boards