Freaking out...Has this ever happened to any of you ladies?

avriladorable07 · January 2015

So I was already nervous going to the doctor, but I of course I knew I needed to and my husband was excited and so I attempted to calm myself down. I went today, and had an awful experience. First off, my husband wasn't allowed to go back with me, but I was told for the ultrasound portion he would be called back. I understood at that point because maybe they wanted to make sure if I was around other ladies they would want privacy.

However, once it came time for the ultrasound they refused to still let him come back with me. I attempted to stay cool, but my ultrasound tech not only asked if I was crazy for wanting him back there, but if the baby was an accident. I was for a loss for words. I didn't know what to say, so I just said "no, we've been looking forward to this..." She proceed to about her work, but I could see in her face something was up....I asked her if everything was ok, and she shrugged! I was then told I would see the doctor and to get dressed.

I went into her office and she told me I was measuring at 7 weeks instead of 9 weeks, and that the heart rate was lower than they like....96bmp. I was told I needed to come back immediately for a second look. I started crying, when she told me where to go if I had a miscarriage tonight. I then had to get blood work and then still being in tears make another appointment at the receptionist. I was in tears through it all, and ' in the meantime, instead of any comforting words (which I guess I wouldn't know what to say either) I was called hormonal by my doctor for crying. I didn't think I was over reacting....

Sorry for the long post.... but have any of you had to go back the next day for a low heart beat the next day? If I'm being overly dramatic, I'm very sorry...I just feel like my heart has been through so much today....

CupcakecutieRN · January 2015

No experience but this sounds awful! I'm so sorry you had to go thru that. I would be beyond livid. This office seems to be off of its rocker. I would be looking for another doc.

sandrabrooke · January 2015

Someone needs bedside manner. New doc stat

mclaurin2015 · January 2015

Horrible!!!

azarianjess · January 2015

Oh my. Find a new doctor. I will keep my FXFY.!

taylorharber1108 · January 2015

What an awful experience! I cannot imagine going through what you just had to go through. If I were you I would find a new doctor.

mandyfunk21 · January 2015

I wouldn't go back! FX that u get a new doc stat and U get good news!

katers79 · January 2015

OMG. I am SO SORRY you are going through this! How unprofessional, rude, and flat out unacceptable.

First, I would immediately find a new OB. Then I would go as high up that chain of command as possible. Is this OB a part of a group that has a medical director? Or an office manager? Patient advocate? I would document all of the specifics, and march my unhappy ass to the highest-up and make myself heard.

FX, and T&P!

RunCC37 · January 2015

New doctor! How horrible!

Good luck with your next scan

queenb+ · January 2015

Nobody deserves to be treated like that. So sorry you had to experience that. Best of luck for better results tomorrow.

cubberss · January 2015

Husbands aren't allowed in the u/s around here either until the tech is done all his/her measurements, and the techs aren't allowed to tell you anything.

That said, it sounds like the tech and Dr made some really inappropriate comments, and I would totally be switching Drs.

samantha716 · January 2015

Not only was that brutal behavior, I can't seem to wrap my head around why your husband wasn't allowed back or the comment about an accident. It does not make sense. Definitely new doc. Terrible. I am so sorry.

mrspiatt · January 2015

Nothing new to add, but I'm so sorry you had an experience like that. Definitely get a new doctor. Try not to stress, *fingers crossed* that everything is okay with your baby and those idiots were listening to your heart beat in error.

thehurricaine · January 2015

Oh my goodness I am so sorry for your experience. This is not ok. Not one bit. If you are able, please find a new doctor (or a midwife if one available to you where you live and that's something you're interested in).

Please know that this is not a typical experience. I just had my first appointment my my midwife (where I live you are funded for either a highly trained and regulated midwife or a doctor - your choice, and OBs are just for high risk pregnancies). She hugged me as I came in and chatted with my husband - she delivered our first and knows I like hugs. She gave us our test requisition forms, a list of vitamins, asked us if we want to do genetic screening, didn't even offer the doppler because it would be unlikely that we'd hear the heartbeat at 10 weeks, then answered my questions about testing for gestational diabetes. Oh and she teased me for insisting we'd only have one baby the last time around. My understanding is that this isn't that different than most first doctor's appointments around here, except maybe you don't usually walk past chickens on your way in...

I know that every caregiver is different, but my point is that you can have a friendly, caring practitioner who acts like your husband/partner/whoever your support person is an involved party in your pregnancy.

You deserve respect and kindness from the people who are managing your medical care and you did not get that here.

SummerOH · January 2015

Wowwwww I think this may be one of the worst doctor horror stories I've heard. I can't believe s/he has any patients, acting like that! Your reaction was 100% normal. When i was in a similar situation, i was so upset i could barely squeak out words. What assholes!! Find another doctor like tomorrow. Fingers crossed for you!

dilutedsanity0 · January 2015

That doctors office would be under serious review if it were me. I'm a vindictive bitch. That is completely unprofessional and I'm fairly certain that they cannot refuse your husband from going with you. That is the most absolute bullshit. I would go to a different doctor immediately. I would actually, if it is something that really concerns you, go to the hospital and get checked out. (But I also have a lot of ER friends who would help me out). I'm so sorry this happened to you. Stay strong. I'm praying for you.

Sassafras823 · January 2015

That is the most inappropriate, unacceptable, unprofessional office behavior...and coming from people who are supposed to be supporting women through this emotional period. I'm so sorry! Definitely find a new doctor and try to see if they have good reviews first. FX for you!

avriladorable07 · January 2015

Thank you all ladies for all your sweet and wonderful words...I'm so grateful for all your kindness. I have an appointment at the same OB office tomorrow (I might see if I can speak to the Office Manager tomorrow). I won't be seeing the same doctor, but I'm still pretty nervous.

@hdenglish , I actually want to go through a midwife instead of an OB, but the office she goes through (where I went today) told me I couldn't see her until I was checked out by an OB first, for insurance purposes. Sounded strange but I went with it. Did you have to do that with your first? I'm in NY so there isn't a shortage of midwives....

Either way after tomorrow I don't think that I will be going back to this office. I think the part that really upsets me is that my husband couldn't go back with me. He has been really looking forward to this, and he said while he was waiting other men were called back! After I found that out, I was not only even more emotional but really pissed....

Thank you all ladies for all the kind words.

thehurricaine · January 2015

avriladorable07 said:

@hdenglish , I actually want to go through a midwife instead of an OB, but the office she goes through (where I went today) told me I couldn't see her until I was checked out by an OB first, for insurance purposes. Sounded strange but I went with it. Did you have to do that with your first? I'm in NY so there isn't a shortage of midwives....

-Quotefail-

I didn't, but I'm in British Columbia, Canada, so everything would be different here. Our medical gives you the option of choosing between a midwife or a Doctor. If you have an indication of risk, they'll refer you to the OB or another specialist, so it seems like we do it the opposite of you (because of course it's Canada and America).

My experience with a midwife has been excellent, and I feel that we were given a really high standard of medical care, where informed consent was the standard. I imagine that there are massive differences between care providers from place to place, especially from country to country so it might be different in New York.

numb3rMel · January 2015

I hope you get to move onto your midwife and be rid of that office. That's so unacceptable! I'm sorry you went through that.

CaliforniaDream87 · January 2015

ABvintage said:
I am so sorry for what you are going though. First step I would find another doctor. Not only that but I think if/when you feel up to it you should write a review with this whole story. I would NEVER go to a doctor's office that treated me that way. I can't believe it. Also, I would have been really honest and just told them what a bunch of assholes they are.

I have FXFY!

Agreed!

JellicalParker · January 2015

Sounds like you need a new dr!

manda1214 · January 2015

This is awful. I'm glad your appointment is with a different doctor and I hope your experience is very different tomorrow. Good luck!

sw34tyc4rc4ss · January 2015

That is a terrible experience! I would definitely be looking for a new doctor they shouldn't have treated you that way at all! If that was my doctor I would have walked out.

skinandbones · January 2015

Team find a new doctor. I would also write a very detailed letter outlining the facts of your visit. I would then send copies to everyone I could think of- directors, office manager, etc.

Instead of returning to the awful place, can you try making an appointment at a different office? I would explain your situation and see if they would be able to get you in the next couple of days.

Good luck to you. I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience.

chrissyadore · January 2015

I'm so sorry you went through this! Where in NY are you? I'm also in New York.

I'd definitely be talking to the office manager tomorrow and set someone straight. You should have not experienced that. Such animals.

buckleyk · January 2015

You need a new dr ASAP! That's beyond awful!

+lisamarie+ · January 2015

Did you every actually see/talk to the dr? If not, I'd be talking to him/her tomorrow and make him and the other office staff about your experience today. A lot of office won't let the spouse back for the questioning/routine stuff, that's normal, especially for the first appointment. Mostly it's for privacy/confidentiality since most are not likely to disclose certain things if your partner is there. If no one is willing to talk to and address this lady, get to finding a different dr ASAP.

LawnDog1216 · January 2015

skinandbones said:
Team find a new doctor. I would also write a very detailed letter outlining the facts of your visit. I would then send copies to everyone I could think of- directors, office manager, etc.

Instead of returning to the awful place, can you try making an appointment at a different office? I would explain your situation and see if they would be able to get you in the next couple of days.

Good luck to you. I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience.

^^^All of this!!

I am so sorry this was your day - and I can't imagine being told my husband can't come in to the appointment with me - totally ridiculous. Fingers crossed your next appointment is better, and you're able to find a new doctor ASAP!!

GreenMom2B · January 2015

I am so sorry you had this experience!

For my first pregnancy (which ended in a miscarriage), I started at a practice that didn't allow my husband back for certain things- the rooms were really small and there wasn't enough space. I changed doctors right away and now I love my Dr! Also in NY, oddly enough.

Ask around for referrals from friends and family members.
Good luck and I am so sorry you are going through this!

Heavenwhip · January 2015

Wow! I'm so incredibly sorry you went through this experience! I would try and find a different doctor for sure.

Lois172000 · January 2015

Wow... just wow. Awful on so many levels.
Praying for better news tomorow.
Prayers the whole staff gets laid tonight, has a Pre-opening stick removal party, has a full cup of coffe, get sprinkled with fairy dust, something so they are not such assholes.
Even if the planets align and that happens still new Doc for sure!

kmitch1 · January 2015

skinandbones said:

Team find a new doctor. I would also write a very detailed letter outlining the facts of your visit. I would then send copies to everyone I could think of- directors, office manager, etc. Instead of returning to the awful place, can you try making an appointment at a different office? I would explain your situation and see if they would be able to get you in the next couple of days. Good luck to you. I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience.

^^^this.

So sorry you went through that. Incredibly insensitive and unprofessional. I'm pissed for you. Good luck tonight, lots of thoughts coming your way.

MrsSnyder124 · January 2015

You are one stronger woman than me because I would have cunt punted every one of them . You can have whoever you damn well please in the room with you for support !!! New doctor, stat. And file a complaint somewhere .