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August 2014 Moms
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What would you do? (Loss mentioned)

mmsweeney1mmsweeney1 member
in August 2014 Moms
Let's see if I can get this all out so it makes sense...

My mom has ovarian cancer and has taken a turn for the worse lately. Yesterday she went to the hospital and she's so weak and not really doing well. I was able to visit yesterday because my H could stay with the baby.

My sister is out of town for work so my dad is handling a lot by himself. I feel my parents have a hard time getting things done and understanding what's going on at the hospital and I want to be there to help.

The thing is I don't want to take the baby to the hospital because of the flu going around. Of course, to make things complicated, my in-laws usually babysit and they are on vacation. I don't know who else I could leave LO with. So the hospital is an hour away and it seems like I can only go late in the evening when H gets home.

We have already lost a baby so I guess that affects how I feel about anything happening to our little girl. Because of that I can't really tell if I am overreacting. Would you take your baby with you??

first son stillborn 7/20/13 at 39 weeks due to Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy
It's a girl! Baby Anna was born August 3, 2014!

 
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Re: What would you do? (Loss mentioned)

  • kareik01kareik01 member

    Reading the first 3 paragraphs I was going to say just take her with you, until I got to the part about already losing a baby. So totally understand how it would be more difficult for you to just take her and not worry at all.

    I guess I would still take her with me. Your mom and dad need you by the sounds of it, and I can't think of anything better when I'm sick than to see a sweet baby smile at me, so maybe it'll cheer your mom up a little.

    I'd just take all the precautions possible, keep antibacterial stuff on hand, keep DD with you at all times, etc. And you could be on the lookout for temporary care near the hospital for LO while you're at the hospital.

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  • becominggoldbecominggold member
    I would. I would want to spend as much time as possible with my mom. I would think just having your LO there would brighten her up. I would just be super careful. You could even put a mask on her going to and from your mom's room.

    Hugs mama...stay tough...and you have lots of thoughts and prayers...for you and your mom.
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  • mfsunshine222mfsunshine222 member
    I'm so sorry you are going though all of this.  I would take LO, while you may be stressed about germs in the end she will probably relax both you and your parents.
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  • arcarpe2arcarpe2 member
    I would take LO but be uber careful about germs. Also be sure to take care of yourself too! I'm sorry you have to go through this.
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  • kaitm22kaitm22 member
    Kandreas1 said:
    Talk about a lot on your plate. I would probably bring LO with me but be very careful about where I put him. I have a thing about hospital floors (I'm a nurse and I have stepped in my fair share of bodily fluids on the floor). I would baby wear into the hospital so my bucket isn't on the floor. I would also bring an extra blanket incase I wanted to put LO down on a chair. Creepy internet hugs to you!
    I second the babywearing. T and Ps with you! My mom is sick right now and I am terrified that I may be in this situation in a few years. I would definitely want to be with my mom too. I would take LO. You don't want to have any regrets about not getting to spend enough time with your mom.

    August 2014 January Siggy Challenge

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  • alisonc87alisonc87 member
    I just went through something similar with my uncle. He and my aunt didn't have children so my cousins and I all see them as second parents. He was in the hospital and my aunt was overwhelmed so we took the 2 hour drive with the baby there a couple different days. I honestly didn't even think about the sickness flying around the hospital. I just used lots of hand sanitzer. I of course understand your different take on it from your past experience , however I come from the perspective of having lost my mom in a similar situation back in May. We were talking to lots of doctors who were talking over our heads, and I remembered how hard it was to understand and remember everything, and I couldn't imagine having to do it by myself. One night me and LO slept in a recliner in the waiting room because it had gotten so bad and we just felt like it was where we needed to be. I just kept myself as germ free as possible and kept LO with me.
    My heart breaks for you, and I pray that the doctors are able to help you mom. I know how hard it is to have an ailing mom taking a turn for the worse, and I hope you can find a solution that you feel comfortable with.
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  • jenniferursjenniferurs member
    No advice, but I just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you and your family.
    I'm being featured in a new pregnancy/motherhood blog during the month of October, so if you ever wanted to know more about my pregnancy, birth, and motherhood experiences than anyone ever should, check out my posts in the link below! :)

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  • Elaina22Elaina22 member
    Many hospitals, at least in my area, have a strict ban on no visitors under 18 because of the flu. I would look into that first.

    Thoughts and prayers for you, your mom, and entire family.
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  • LucyLorraiLucyLorrai member

    I would bring my LO and just take every precaution to guide her. Seeing your LO may also help everyone take their mind off the situation at hand.

    I am so sorry you are going through this my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know what it is like I lost my dad to cancer a few years ago.

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  • +RBL++RBL+ member
    How conscious is your mother? Has she been getting chemo? Is her immune system compromised? Is she in a section of the hospital LO is allowed in?

    I probably would not bring LO with me.

    If your mom is pretty out of it and you really need to know what the doctors are saying to help your parents maybe you can open communication with her doctor's via phone and visit your mom in the evenings without LO.

    If your mom's immune system is compromised, you could be putting her at risk at well.

    I'm sorry toread about your mom. It's very difficult to see your own mother so sick, I was in your shoes a couple years ago (minus having an infant) and it's very difficult. We had a lot of communication with my mom's doctors over the phone. Even if someone made it to the hospital every day we did not always catch the doctors while we were there. My mom was really sick and out of it so visiting was more for our peace of mind then to entertain/talk to her. I don't think I could have handled my baby and going to the hospital at the same time.

    I'll keep you and your family in my thought. Hope your mom improves.
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  • cdsenocdseno member
    I'm sorry that you are going through this. I would call the hospital first to make sure it is ok to bring LO. My dad had a heart attack this morning and H and I went to see him and brought LO because I don't have enough milk in the freezer to leave for that long, and we got kicked out by the charge nurse for having him along. She said they are not allowing visitors younger than 15 years because of the flu. I would hate for that to happen to you too.
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