Telling boss you're pregnant

tarheelgirl8 · January 2015

Hi Everyone,

I'm currently 9 weeks, and I am trying to decide when to tell my boss that I am pregnant. Currently only our immediate families know (parents & siblings)--no grandparents, or extended family. Our plan is to wait until ~12 weeks to make it public. However, I'm starting to have nausea at work, snacking more often, etc, and I want to tell my boss before she figures it out on her own.

At what point did you tell your boss? Did you trust him or her to keep it confidential if you weren't ready to share the news with the entire workplace? I've heard stories of it backfiring, where the office grapevine takes over and suddenly everyone knows!

Appreciate your input.

DorkyMama · January 2015

I'm not telling my boss until 8-9 weeks at the absolute earliest. I'd like to wait until 12 weeks but with international travel imminent for the summertime, I want to make sure he doesn't start planning my trips!

delujm0 · January 2015

I told my boss today at 16 weeks...but I had no nausea and had all of my doctor visits outside of work hours so it wasn't really necessary. We just told our families over xmas so this was part of the going public process.

Mills0401 · January 2015

Legally you don't have to tell them until 3 months if I'm not mistaken. It all depends on your relationship with your boss. My supervisor would keep it confidential until I choose to tell everyone. Good news is it is flu season so co-workers will just think you have a virus or something and stay away from you which helps cover up morning sickness until you are ready.

courtparish · January 2015

I told them Monday, when I got to the 12 week mark

Katechristine18 · January 2015

Last week I needed to take a day off, I felt so crappy, bad nausea. I was at the 10 week mark. I felt comfortable telling him then, I had already told the head of HR earlier that week so we could talk maternity leave options. I would have rather told my boss in person rather than over the phone, but I wanted him to understand why I needed the day off so it didn't come across as a BS excuse. He was happy for me and supportive. He seemed to appreciate that I told him the truth.

GSUDavis · January 2015

I didn't tell my boss until now (14 weeks). I had a pregnancy earlier in the year that resulted in a loss and had to tell her very early that time because I was constantly sick with UTIs and was going to the dr often for baby and UTI. This time, since things are *much* better, I was able to wait until we were in the second trimester.

My boss has been very understanding and has kept my news quiet, both times. And I even got some shocking news when I told her this time. She's pregnant too!! And only 3 weeks behind me. So things are going to get very interesting around our office when hormones start flying. haha!

Best of luck to you!

ChristyM87 · January 2015

Mills0401 said:
Legally you don't have to tell them until 3 months if I'm not mistaken. It all depends on your relationship with your boss. My supervisor would keep it confidential until I choose to tell everyone. Good news is it is flu season so co-workers will just think you have a virus or something and stay away from you which helps cover up morning sickness until you are ready.

Just curious but I wasn't aware that there was a legal reason to tell them at 3 months. What are you referring to?

DorkyMama · January 2015

ChristyM87 said:

Legally you don't have to tell them until 3 months if I'm not mistaken. It all depends on your relationship with your boss. My supervisor would keep it confidential until I choose to tell everyone. Good news is it is flu season so co-workers will just think you have a virus or something and stay away from you which helps cover up morning sickness until you are ready.
Just curious but I wasn't aware that there was a legal reason to tell them at 3 months. What are you referring to?

I was going to ask the same thing, because I don't think there's anything legal (at least in the US) about when you "have to" tell your boss/employer. I'm fairly certain it varies by company. At my job, in our employee handbook, it states that we have to tell them about needing to take Maternity Leave no later than 2 weeks before your last day at work.

Mills0401 · January 2015

ChristyM87 said:

Legally you don't have to tell them until 3 months if I'm not mistaken. It all depends on your relationship with your boss. My supervisor would keep it confidential until I choose to tell everyone. Good news is it is flu season so co-workers will just think you have a virus or something and stay away from you which helps cover up morning sickness until you are ready.
Just curious but I wasn't aware that there was a legal reason to tell them at 3 months. What are you referring to?

Your pregnancy is confidential because it is medical. Legally your employer can not ask you if you are pregnant, going to try for kids, etc. You don't have to tell your employer you are pregnant legally until 15 weeks prior to your due date which would put you at 25 wks (I looked it up). So not 3 months like I stated prior it is a little over 6 months.

koyangi87 · January 2015

Agree that it depends on your relationship with your boss. I told my supervisor and boss today. I would trust my boss to keep it a secret, but not so sure about my super haha. They were both cautiously happy, since they know I plan on moving to where my fiance is stationed in a few months, but they're going to see if I can work from home.

FilledwJoy2 · January 2015

I have two people I support. The main person (a male) and my secondary manager (a female). I decided to tell my female manager yesterday and I am only 7 weeks 3 days nows. The only people that know I am pregnant is my husband, myself and now my female manager. I only told her because I know I will start to have appointments more often and I feel like I look bigger so before she questioned me leaving early and getting bigger, I decided to tell her. I did say its still early so i'm keeping this very quiet until we know more.

Good Luck! I'm sure they will be happy for you either way.

keenebride2015 · January 2015

I'm worried about this as well. I work for 2 attorneys, it's just me and the 2 guys... So I obviously don't qualify for FMLA, but I know they will need a paralegal for the 3+ months of my maternity leave... I don't really know how this is all going to pan out. They're great bosses and will be super happy and excited for me, but I likely won't have a job to come back to

Suffice to say, I haven't told them, though my bloat belly is getting harder to hide.... I plan on telling them after my boss gets back from his 3 week south america trip in early Feb.

thelittlestbee · January 2015

First of all, congratulations!

I was planning to wait until 12 weeks to tell my boss. Then one day (maybe 11 weeks) I had to leave work early because I was feeling really nauseous and falling asleep at my desk. The next day when I came in to work my boss asked if I was OK and asking what happened to me the day before. So I just told him "Well I'm pregnant and I haven't been feeling great lately." I think he was a little embarrassed that he asked, because he wasn't expecting that to be my answer. But he congratulated me and that was the end of it. Once my boss knew, there was no real reason to keep the secret and eventually everyone in the office found out...

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