Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
vvvvvfee
member
Re: Extended BFing Weekly Check-in- 1/6
2. How many times per day does your LO nurse? 4-6 times
3. How long do your nursing sessions tend to be? Anywhere from 5-30 minutes
4. Does your LO drink other milk besides BM? How did you introduce it?
He just recently started taking soy milk after refusing it for a few weeks. We recently confirmed he has a milk protein intolerance. I would prefer him to drink goats milk but I have offered it many times and still no luck. He does like goats milk yogurt so I an happy he takes a serving of that almost every day and about 8-12 oz of soy milk.
Non-breastfeeding question of the week: How many kids do you have? How many do you want? How many would you have if you lived in fantasy-land, under totally ideal circumstances?
DS is my first. I'd like two or three total, at least one more would be great but we can't think about that for a while, DS needs a lot of attention right now. In an ideal world I would take three or four.
2. How many times per day does your LO nurse? 2x/day
3. How long do your nursing sessions tend to be? morning is short - usually 10mins; evening can be upwards of 30 mins if she's feeling really cuddly.
4. Does your LO drink other milk besides BM? How did you introduce it? she will now drink some WCM, but it took 6 months for her to be interested. We tried mixing it with BM at a year, but when we got to 50% she refused it and simultaneously dropped bottles cold-turkey. So we didn't try to introduce it, and only started offering it again when she showed interest in a friend's sippy of milk.
Non-breastfeeding question of the week: How many kids do you have? How many do you want? How many would you have if you lived in fantasy-land, under totally ideal circumstances? The plan is 2 kids (have just one now). I'm totally torn between saying 2 is plenty and wanting 3 or 4, but that would be a fantasy-land scenario where no one has to pay for college ;-) (though fraternal twins do run in my family, so I suppose it's possible that 2 could be a surprise 3!)
2. How many times per day does your LO nurse? 4-6
3. How long do your nursing sessions tend to be? They're usually under 10 minutes. The longest one is usually when we get home from work/daycare. She still (sometimes) nurses in the middle of the night and I don't know how long those last. I do remember she asked at 2 last night and then again at 4 and I told her no. We bedshare, so I know she cried/whimpered for a minute or two (which I felt bad about), but then fell back asleep. I've never told her no in the MOTN and had her accept it.
4. Does your LO drink other milk besides BM? How did you introduce it? A little bit of cow's milk at daycare. It's probably about 8 oz., if that. I've never really pushed it and I think daycare just offers her a cup at lunch.
Non-breastfeeding question of the week: How many kids do you have? How many do you want? How many would you have if you lived in fantasy-land, under totally ideal circumstances? Just 1 child for now. I definitely want at least 2, but I'll wait to make that final decision until after I've had another child. I've always imagined I'd have 2.
edit: spelling error
kellymom has a great page with a list of benefits of BFing past one year:
https://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/
they also have some nice suggestions on responding to criticism about BFing:
https://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mother/criticism/
i also really enjoyed the book, our babies, ourselves: how biology and culture shape the way we parent-- it shows just how much of what we think are "normal" ways to parent or respond to our children are really just social constructs. and our western social constructs don't always best serve our children's development.
2. How many times per day does your LO nurse?
3. How long do your nursing sessions tend to be?
4. Does your LO drink other milk besides BM? How did you introduce it?
Just offered in a straw cup one day and I'm sure we made different porrige with it prior to that. I never knew it was a big deal to transition.
Non-breastfeeding question of the week: How many kids do you have? How many do you want? How many would you have if you lived in fantasy-land, under totally ideal circumstances?
have you tried having your LO sit on your lap facing you to nurse? that worked well for us for a long time.
now that both DS's sessions are in bed (wake up/bedtime) he just nurses next to me for one side, then kind of flops over my body for the other breast.
2. How many times per day does your LO nurse? Once or twice on a busy day out of the house but 8-10 on a normal lazy day around the house.
3. How long do your nursing sessions tend to be? Most are 5 minutes, tops. But the morning and post nap sessions are usually about 30mins.
4. Does your LO drink other milk besides BM? How did you introduce it? She drinks whole milk finally, as of a few months after her 2nd birthday. About 16oz a day. We tried to introduce it at 15m when she was labeled FTT (failure to thrive) but she didn't take to it. She then went to feeding therapy, a GI specialist, and a nutritionalist who all determined she had a oral sensory issue. She was then put on prescription pediasure. I'd have to bribe her to drink the pediasure by telling her she couldn't nurse until she finished "x" amount. It sucked. I'm sure my answer was overkill, sorry.
Pregnant & BFing Moms: How are you doing this week? Any issues with supply, pain, aversion? Questions for other moms? No pain since week 6. No aversion. My supply is definitely dwindling. And the color of my milk is changing.
Non-breastfeeding question of the week: How many kids do you have? How many do you want? How many would you have if you lived in fantasy-land, under totally ideal circumstances? We have one daughter now and a son on the way (19.5w pregnant). I want 3, DH wants 5. We will probably stick with 3 unless he gets an awesome high paying job or we win the lottery. Haha.