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Balancing housework evenly with spouse

djm31012djm31012 member
in Stay at Home Moms
The post below got me thinking. I will soon join the SAHM world and admittedly am nervous, though excited and sure its the right decision.I am nervous about having time during the day to get actual housework done with 2 kids home, and errands like food shopping etc, with 2 in tow.  DH is amazing and does a ton now, but my hope really is to take a bunch off his plate so weekends are spent together instead of passing the kids back and forth so we can do things like laundry/cooking/dry cleaning, etc. I am sure he is expecting and hoping for that as well. I understand being a SAHM is a full time job, so he will need to pitch in with household duties as well, but I am just not sure how to decide what falls on me and what he needs to help out with. He works a ton, about 70 hours a week, so I will feel bad if he comes home at 8pm and im like "ok run to the food store now."  Give me your best tips for how you and your spouse find balance.
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Re: Balancing housework evenly with spouse

  • nolemomma14nolemomma14 member
    I only have one baby, but being new to being a SAHM, there's been a big learning curve as far as who does what in the house. When DS was in the NB stage, DH probably did more around the house than I did. Once I got the hang of BF, and was feeling better it went back to being 50/50.

    Now DS is almost 6 months. He has a pretty good schedule and does really well in his car seat, so I can run errands no problem. I try to get as much done during the day as I can. Some days DH gets home and everything is all taken care of. Other days they aren't, so we divide whatever is left.

    Communication is definitely key! DH and I talked about our expectations, and then made sure we were on the same page. I've taken it day by day, and so far it's going well. Good luck to you!!
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  • heartlandmomheartlandmom member
    You've gotten a lot of great advice. I'm not sure how old your kids are but if they are both pretty little baby wear the youngest and put the older one in the cart when grocery shopping. That way you don't have to chase kids through out the grocery store. Also buy a planner and use it. Write down everything you need to do and buy in it. Staying organized is what helps me accomplish anything. Set a schedule for you and the kids. Pick up here and there when they are awake but at nap time get some of the cleaning done they don't let you do.
    Shannon
    My Blog: The Heartland Mom
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  • mandymackmandymack member
    Pretty much exactly what @curlingrocks said! :)

    We, too have always been on lock-down for naps and I used that time to do things I couldn't do when they were awake, this changes with age/phases. Before I hired a housekeeper, it was cleaning bathrooms, mopping, being up on a chair to clean/dust ceiling fans and moldings, and vacuuming. Now that the cleaning service comes every other Friday, I have very little on my plate to do daily!

    Tips that work for me:
    I still to this day clean the kitchen as I go through the day every time they are eating a meal. E is at school all day so this just applies to dinner time for her. D is in his chair and confined/safe so I can wipe the cabinets, clean the oven, sweep/mop, load dishes, etc.

    I bring baskets of laundry into whatever room they are playing in to fold and put away.

    I open mail, pay bills, shred it all, recycle it, file it away once a week during nap time.

    I run all errands on weekends. Right now it works for us because 1. I'm faster alone and 2. it gives Dh the solo time with both kids to play outside, ride scooters, and just lay in the floor with some Legos. Once D goes to Preschool in the fall, I plan to go back to running all errands during the week. I really hate how crowded the stores are on weekends! :) It'll be nice to have our weekends back to plan family activities a bit more freely. Some errands I do run during the week include short stops like the Post Office, dropping off alterations, an out-of-milk grocery run to the store we can walk to, and getting pet food at the shop we can walk to. Anything fast where D is in the Bob stroller works.

    My Dh unloads/loads the dishwasher every morning, helps feed the kids breakfast and get E off to school, sweeps up the kitchen floor, takes out all the trash and retrieves the cans after pick-up, cleans up the dinner dishes and helps on weekends with the yard work, laundry, cleaning the TVs and windows (why does my 3yr put his sticky hands on everything?!?) and dusting/vacuuming anything that needs it.

    I've honestly never felt like I had to keep a spotless house, raise the kids, run ALL the errands and prepare all the meals and I really appreciate how much my husband helps out and appreciates having me home so that I don't feel that way. :)

    eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

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  • Spin313Spin313 member
    As long as you communicate, you'll find that you work out a routine as you go.

    In my house, I grocery shop and cook while DH does the dishes. We each wash our own laundry...plus I do the kids' and DH does the sheets/towels. He handles the trash and the outdoor chores, while I do the majority of the indoor chores. He occasionally helps with vaccuuming, changing bedding, dusting, or mopping.

    DH is also very helpful with deep cleaning and/or cleaning for guests.
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