Tuesday Bitchfest! Grrrrrrr

KimberlyandThor2014 · January 2015

hey ladies! Venting time!

I'm pissed because I had my A/S scan today and was left feeling very unsettled and confused. First of all, the tech didn't let me see the screen at all, which they always do. I got almost zero information and no pictures, nothing at all! I do know that the baby's heart was beating (DH asked that and also if everything was okay: to which she noncommittally said yeah), but that's about it. We left after almost 30 mins of picture taking and 20 mins of waiting afterward being told only that we probably will need to reschedule because though she got some info, there were a few things she couldn't get due to the baby's position.

I'm sure if something was wrong the doctor would've come in to talk with me, but I just feel very....unsettled. I did place a call in to the nurse line to follow up but I'm still waiting. I've had a couple of U/S with them before and they always communicate with me, show me the heartbeat, the baby, even give a pic or two after (even when baby was just a blob).

It just would've felt better to be more a part of this scan. Instead I felt entirely disconnected and left in the dark. Especially after seeing all the awesome pics and experiences people have had on the Anatomy Scan thread, it just makes me nervous. Thanks for the vent, it always helps!

sassypants2010 · January 2015

I would let your doctor know how you feel and let him know it has caused you undue stress because of it. That would put me on pins and needles also, very not cool.

awheeler4311 · January 2015

@KimberlyandThor2014‌ Yikes. This sounds like my ER experience. Two TOTALLY different scenarios but I was just as unsettled when I left. That would make me so upset I probably would have ugly cried in the room.

Keep us posted as to what the nurse has to say..!

ksimo6 · January 2015

mrskblack11 - Seriously? Your doctor is worried about 4lbs? I have NEVER heard or been told that eating cereal leads to bigger babies. In fact, I ate cereal at least once a day with DD and she was all of 7lbs 4oz at birth. Sounds a bit ridiculious to me.

lwyz · January 2015

KimberlyandThor2014 said:
hey ladies! Venting time!

I'm pissed because I had my A/S scan today and was left feeling very unsettled and confused. First of all, the tech didn't let me see the screen at all, which they always do. I got almost zero information and no pictures, nothing at all! I do know that the baby's heart was beating (DH asked that and also if everything was okay: to which she noncommittally said yeah), but that's about it. We left after almost 30 mins of picture taking and 20 mins of waiting afterward being told only that we probably will need to reschedule because though she got some info, there were a few things she couldn't get due to the baby's position.

I'm sure if something was wrong the doctor would've come in to talk with me, but I just feel very....unsettled. I did place a call in to the nurse line to follow up but I'm still waiting. I've had a couple of U/S with them before and they always communicate with me, show me the heartbeat, the baby, even give a pic or two after (even when baby was just a blob).

It just would've felt better to be more a part of this scan. Instead I felt entirely disconnected and left in the dark. Especially after seeing all the awesome pics and experiences people have had on the Anatomy Scan thread, it just makes me nervous. Thanks for the vent, it always helps!

Eep! I hope it's just a douchey tech and not something wrong that they couldn't tell you!

mcp6286 · January 2015

This is more upset than mad. My husband and his younger brother are very close. This weekend, my BIL told DH that he and his girlfriend are getting married....in Europe....in June! He said that they were going to ask us to come but they booked the tickets the day before DH told them I was pregnant. DH is SOOOO bummed about not being his brother's best man and standing up with him on his wedding day. I feel terrible! My BIL is totally understanding and said they looked into changing their tickets to go in May but can't. I suggested DH go solo for the first couple days so he can be there for the actual wedding (June 8) but he says if I go into labor and he misses it, that would be worse than missing his brother's wedding. What do you guys think? Should he go or stay?

My BIL/gf aren't telling anyone else in the family (they're on the outs with everyone except us on both sides) because they're doing the Europe thing to avoid having the family there. So now we have to keep this big secret AND we don't even get to be at their wedding! Ugh...such bad timing!!!!

finchfeeder80 · January 2015

@kimberlyandthor2014 I hope everything's ok! How frightening! Mine is next week and not at regular doctor's office, so I'm a little nervous about what to expect. At my regular office they have a TV mounted on the wall that displays what they're doing the whole time. It is nice not having to have awkward neck angles to see a screen to your side, and its a much bigger picture. Good luck to you and let us know!

My complaint is that I just got out of a work meeting. We've got a lot of new management and the latest one was telling us some of her goals for getting us running more smoothly and these two girls spent the whole time muttering rude and non constructive things under their breath. I'm all for a good shit talking session because we're all running a high level of frustration these days, but can you at least wait until we're out of the meeting? It's very distracting. Or maybe, just maybe, give this woman a chance?

littlechemist · January 2015

@KimberlyandThor2014 I don't blame you for being unsettled and pissed off - I would be too! Hopefully your tech was just having a bad day and that's the reason (though a pretty poor one) for her not being very forthcoming with information. Let us know what you find out!

My bitch is just general whining/complaining... after weeks of holidays and being off from work, I cannot concentrate or deal with PEOPLE today. I just want to sit at home and eat cheese. And dark chocolate.

Hmph.

KimberlyandThor2014 · January 2015

Omg @emilyzemily‌ how scary is that?! I can't believe the guy didn't look before or even acknowledge after...sad to know that some people are responsible for children who don't take much care while with them!

@ilovelucyv‌ while I was craning to get a glimpse she let me know that I could see in a few minutes, she was just trying to "see something" at the moment. When she left to go over "my numbers" (she called it) she had me stay undone and on the table so I assumed there would be more when she came back especially since she explained her screen tilt earlier I just figured she wanted to get the work out of the way first.

I probably should have been more demanding after, when I realized it was over with nary a glimpse of my babe, but I also know they usually don't like to give out info so I just decided to go straight to the source and put a call in to my doc since she will be more helpful anyway. I've just never had an experience like that with them before!

leenziepops · January 2015

@KimberlyandThor2014‌ That's very frustrating and bad practice because now you're worried for no reason
@mrskblack11 From your HDBD photos you're clearly not overweight so what's up with worrying about 4lbs? Although I do frown upon sugary breakfasts lol sorry.

Belle0720 · January 2015

@mrskblack11 The cereal thing seems so weird to me! How is that any different then having dessert at night? I had a bowl of frosted flakes last night and it was totally delicious, I wish I had some with me at work right now.

LadySif · January 2015

@KimberlyandThor So sorry sweetie. Glad little man is doing well otherwise, but definitely follow up just to let them know their U/S tech is AWFUL and caused major stress completely unnecessarily! I'd be pissed too.

@mrskblack11 That sucks and seems kind of arbitrary to veto cereal as opposed to a more general all-over diet recommendation. Granted, I have GD and the only way I can eat any cereal in the a.m. is if I have a LOT of protein with it (eggs, sausage, etc.). Something about it just spikes my blood sugar, even low-sugar stuff. Your Dr. sounds pretty rigid, hope future appointments go better. Did she hint at GD or something? Have you done the glucose test/s yet? (not to scare you, just curious!)

awheeler4311 · January 2015

mrskblack11 said:
@KimberlyandThor2014 I would be upset too!!! We got to watch the entire scan, got a bunch of pictures and even a DVD of the entire thing. Our tech told us what she was doing/measuring and pointed out everything. Then we met with the OB after and she went over the results.

My bitch is that my OB basically told me not to eat cereal for breakfast anymore. I had frosted mini wheats this morning and water. I had +3 glucose in my urine sample (have never had glucose in my urine before). She told me that her patients that eat cereal tend to have bigger babies. I am 4lbs heavier than she would like me to be at this point but she isn't worried as long as I only gain only a 1lb a week moving forward. If I gain 2lbs a week then it will be a problem.

NO MORE FROSTED MINI WHEATS FOR ME.

ETA. Because I got my would/wouldn't wrong

Waaaaait. What? People who eat cereal have bigger babies? Lol did anyone prove this? What's the reasoning. I love me some Reese's peanut butter puffs and cinnamon toast crunch all day errr day!!!

KimberlyandThor2014 · January 2015

Mmmmmm frosted mini wheats! I'm sorry your doc said no more @mrskblack11‌ that is kind of arbitrary. But maybe like @LadySif said, try with some protein/fat?

Schnurette · January 2015

@KimberlyandThor2014‌ this would make me so mad (and scared) - I don't really know what the procedure is here if we have an u/s and there is something wrong. The techs aren't allowed to give any information (all u/s pics are sent to the great and powerful u/s overlord for review or something) but like you said they usually show you the screen and let you take home a couple of pics.

Hopefully your doc's office calls you back soon to explain...and hopefully it was just an inept u/s tech. (The dating u/s I had the tech was a noob and only let us look at baby for like, 10 seconds and didn't let us see the heartbeat but we did get pics...)

KimberlyandThor2014 · January 2015

Thanks @Schnurette‌ and also all of you other awesome ladies for your camaraderie and support! I feel like it was something like that, just a crappy day for Ms. Personality--she did have all the personality of a doorknob--so I'm trying to just relax and chill. Hearing from the doc or NP will help! Also, I've felt a few bumps and prods, so I know he's still rolling around in there! Just hoping there is no issue with an organ or anything, but again, I think a doctor would have been contacted if something were wrong.

KimberlyandThor2014 · January 2015

@mcp6286‌ that's a predicament! And a tough call. I don't know what I would do in your case but I would definitely want my DH around for the delivery. Is the wedding completely set in stone?

Trampslikeus · January 2015

@KimberlyandThor2014‌ So... This gets dicey because TECHNICALLY the tech shouldn't be telling us anything. At most, they can point out anatomy to you "here is the nose, here is the bum", etc. Because they're not doctors, they're really not supposed to say anything that could even be remotely construed as a diagnosis ( ie: "everything looks great")

I know they do it allllll the time, and most of the time we are happy they do, but then when we get a rule-stickler or a noob who is not confident enough to push the rules, they come off like a jerk or get you nervous. When I had my bleed back in November, I think the tech prefaced her sentences with "I shouldn't be telling you this but... " about 8 times.

Hope you get info from your doctor soon!!

mcp6286 · January 2015

@ilovelucyv‌ that's kind of what I was thinking but didn't want to make DH feel worse by suggesting it. He's young and very, very laid back so his gf pretty much dictates his life. I wouldn't be surprised if she just bought the tickets and told him later.

@KimberlyandThor2014‌ yeah, they can't change the dates of the trip (BIL already looked into it) so they'll be gone June 5-21. My due date is 6/21 with c-section planned for 6/12. I would be heartbroken if DH wasn't here. BIL did say he's talking with his gf about a reception at home afterwards.

DH won't consider going no matter what I say. I've never seen him as excited about anything as he is about Baby. I just wish he didn't have to miss the wedding.

erbear84 · January 2015

I want cereal now. I'd die for some Frosted Flakes. Mmm. Or Peanut Butter Crunch. If I have school tomorrow, I'm stopping on my way home. I don't think H will want to go out and get me some now.

girlymama79 · January 2015

mrskblack11 said:
@KimberlyandThor2014 I would be upset too!!! We got to watch the entire scan, got a bunch of pictures and even a DVD of the entire thing. Our tech told us what she was doing/measuring and pointed out everything. Then we met with the OB after and she went over the results.

My bitch is that my OB basically told me not to eat cereal for breakfast anymore. I had frosted mini wheats this morning and water. I had +3 glucose in my urine sample (have never had glucose in my urine before). She told me that her patients that eat cereal tend to have bigger babies. I am 4lbs heavier than she would like me to be at this point but she isn't worried as long as I only gain only a 1lb a week moving forward. If I gain 2lbs a week then it will be a problem.

NO MORE FROSTED MINI WHEATS FOR ME.

ETA. Because I got my would/wouldn't wrong

4lbs!! I gained 50lbs with dd1 (starting at normal weight) and my dr told me every time weight was good. I asked him about it once and he said that not gaining enough weight is far more of a problem than gaining a little extra.

blu-eyedwife · January 2015

Trampslikeus said:

@KimberlyandThor2014‌ So... This gets dicey because TECHNICALLY the tech shouldn't be telling us anything. At most, they can point out anatomy to you "here is the nose, here is the bum", etc. Because they're not doctors, they're really not supposed to say anything that could even be remotely construed as a diagnosis ( ie: "everything looks great") I know they do it allllll the time, and most of the time we are happy they do, but then when we get a rule-stickler or a noob who is not confident enough to push the rules, they come off like a jerk or get you nervous. When I had my bleed back in November, I think the tech prefaced her sentences with "I shouldn't be telling you this but... " about 8 times. Hope you get info from your doctor soon!!

This.

And the liability is such an issue with radiology. It is really hard because you read about the "norm" and it seems like everyone has these mushy gushy experiences. But it's a medical procedure. Just like an x-ray. And just like how you don't get a copy of your x-rays before they can do the diagnosis, theoretically you're not really supposed to be getting information from the anatomy scan.

kmleon83 · January 2015

My mom emailed my MIL just tossing around some dates for a baby shower, checking to see if they were all good with her. My MIL emailed her back, "Oh, no thanks. I'm going to plan my own shower for her down here. But I'll still come to yours."

Wait, what?! Is this a thing? Why would I want TWO showers? Why separate the families for two parties? I don't get it. I mean, I understand I am having a baby with her son, but isn't this something you should ask me if I want? I was really kind of taken aback when my mom told me. I also took it to mean that she basically couldn't be bothered to drive up here (we live an hour north of them) to attend a shower so she'll just give me another one that's convenient for her. THAT'S CRAZY RIGHT?! I don't think I'm being overly hormonal but it REALLY irked me. I also thought it was kind of rude to say to my mom "Nah, I'm good. I'm throwing her my own shower."

KimberlyandThor2014 · January 2015

I totally understand their liability and procedures...just very unnerving to have such a stark difference of experience from all of my other experiences in the same place, even with the same tech before, and to not even be given a glimpse of the baby.

Happily I did just hear back from the NP and she was surprised I didn't even get a peek or a pic, but wanted me to know that all is well with everything except that they need a closer look at baby's heart-not because anything looks wrong but because they couldn't get a good picture to supply as much detail as they'd like. Every see-able part looks healthy and well formed. Aaaaaaaaand exhale!

lwyz · January 2015

@KimberlyandThor2014‌ Yaaaaaay!! So good to hear.

Also, my bitch is that at my old location of work a girl I think shouldn't be applying for a job is. And my other bitch is that I'm clearly a terrible person because why the fuck do I care??? I live in an entirely different PROVINCE now!!

angielayne926 · January 2015

@KimberlyandThor2014, so frustrating, but glad everything looks good!

My bitch today-if you are a 24 year old still on your parents' insurance....please, for the love of God, know your mother's birthday for insurance purposes. Also....if said 24 year old would like to be seen by the Dr., please expect to pay your copay at the time of service. I'm sure your mother would appreciate not getting billed for $40 because you did not feel like paying it.

housewifebecomesher · January 2015

mcp6286 said:
@ilovelucyv‌ that's kind of what I was thinking but didn't want to make DH feel worse by suggesting it. He's young and very, very laid back so his gf pretty much dictates his life. I wouldn't be surprised if she just bought the tickets and told him later.

@KimberlyandThor2014‌ yeah, they can't change the dates of the trip (BIL already looked into it) so they'll be gone June 5-21. My due date is 6/21 with c-section planned for 6/12. I would be heartbroken if DH wasn't here. BIL did say he's talking with his gf about a reception at home afterwards.

DH won't consider going no matter what I say. I've never seen him as excited about anything as he is about Baby. I just wish he didn't have to miss the wedding.

Good decision Mr. mcp286!

You guys will find a way to make it up to them.

housewifebecomesher · January 2015

kmleon83 said:
My mom emailed my MIL just tossing around some dates for a baby shower, checking to see if they were all good with her. My MIL emailed her back, "Oh, no thanks. I'm going to plan my own shower for her down here. But I'll still come to yours."

Wait, what?! Is this a thing? Why would I want TWO showers? Why separate the families for two parties? I don't get it. I mean, I understand I am having a baby with her son, but isn't this something you should ask me if I want? I was really kind of taken aback when my mom told me. I also took it to mean that she basically couldn't be bothered to drive up here (we live an hour north of them) to attend a shower so she'll just give me another one that's convenient for her. THAT'S CRAZY RIGHT?! I don't think I'm being overly hormonal but it REALLY irked me. I also thought it was kind of rude to say to my mom "Nah, I'm good. I'm throwing her my own shower."

My MIL and yours should be BFFs. We had two wedding receptions. But to be fair, our families are in two different states. No matter what your mom should be invited to the second shower if you do end up with two. I wouldn't sweat it too much. More gifts for your LO!

ravinraven216 · January 2015

We had an overnight snowstorm. All the schools in the area were closed, but my workplace district was still open. I was really upset they didn't even call a delay. Just as I was getting suited up to shovel my car out, I got the automated call saying we we're closed. While I'm glad of the snow day, I wish our superintendent would make the call sooner (I have a 45min commute on a good day).

DH went back to 2nd shift this week and it was nice to spend the day with him. After helping shovel and clean off his car, I settled in for a quiet evening. An hour later he e-mailed me that he forgot his phone and while he made it to work, his gas tank was so low he couldn't make it back home. I went out (breaking a windshield wiper blade in the process), bought a small gas tank and a gallon of gas, and toted it over.

In addition my mom's cat, who she adopted only 2 months ago, died unexpectedly. I only met him once, but he was such a nice cat. This week is so fired.

carolyngrace · January 2015

Uh.. obviously I'd never tell anyone to disregard their doctor, but @mrskblack11, I can tell you I'd strongly be considering disregarding that "advice". I kept a food diary for a week for my midwife. I eat cereal twice/day, deserts when I please, along with a good balance of protein & fruits/veggies. She had no concerns. And I've gained 10lbs so far.

ETA my bitch: My church is INCREDIBLY disorganized lately. I'm on the session, which means I basically help run everything (it's a small church). My pastor was gone for 3 months and came back refreshed but kind of "checked out". Then his right-hand woman (our secretary) left for a few months. It is chaotic, and every time I try to bring it up it gets brushed over. I really hope the general congregation isn't having the same experience I am, but everyone knows that if leadership is disorganized it starts to trickle down!

mcp6286 · January 2015

@KimberlyandThor2014‌ yay! Glad they called you quickly and that all is well!

lwyz · January 2015

@sensitivesally‌ IM WATCHING THE WEST WING RIGHT NOW!!! (I'm not sure why this excites me so much.)
Also, yes. Or if your doctor is not available...Google. It's a thing. It'll answer most of your questions.

elbowpasta · January 2015

@sensitivesally‌ - I know!! I look at certain people and think, "Seriously? You again?"

And after the day that we've had on this board, you think SSs could all just chill the F out for a little bit, but no. We're all just immature and rude, as usual.

laurendutch · January 2015

kmleon83 said:
My mom emailed my MIL just tossing around some dates for a baby shower, checking to see if they were all good with her. My MIL emailed her back, "Oh, no thanks. I'm going to plan my own shower for her down here. But I'll still come to yours."

Wait, what?! Is this a thing? Why would I want TWO showers? Why separate the families for two parties? I don't get it. I mean, I understand I am having a baby with her son, but isn't this something you should ask me if I want? I was really kind of taken aback when my mom told me. I also took it to mean that she basically couldn't be bothered to drive up here (we live an hour north of them) to attend a shower so she'll just give me another one that's convenient for her. THAT'S CRAZY RIGHT?! I don't think I'm being overly hormonal but it REALLY irked me. I also thought it was kind of rude to say to my mom "Nah, I'm good. I'm throwing her my own shower."

I had a total of 4 showers: work, my family, FILs family (co-Ed) and MILd family. My MIL and SILs came to my family and DH's family showers. My Mom lives out of state but she was invited. Personally, I do better with smaller showers. I hate the focus on me so it was nice to have smaller more intimate showers.

KarasTwin · January 2015

I'm currently irritated at DH, the company he works for has something called lifestyle points that you get for having a healthy lifestyle. I currently have enough points to get $150 worth of babysrus gift cards and he totally flipped when I tried to order them. They're my points and if that's what I want to use them for then why not? We haven't bought anything for the baby and I'm feeling completely unprepared, I feel like this is at least a start to know we have that money and he just doesn't get it. So aggravated. Grrr

KimberlyandThor2014 · January 2015

@pickles26‌ what a horrible situation with your parents! I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! And to think you are supporting them, and they have the nerve to be so condescending and downright mean to you. Has it always been this bad between you all? Are they lashing out in a sort of f'ed up embarrassment/resentment that they are relying on you for living? No matter what, it's not okay! It's hard, especially when it's our parents, but I hope you are able to keep in perspective that their behavior is a total reflection of them and not at all based in truth about you. Again, so sorry you have to deal with it! On a side note, your siggy damn near makes me salivate! What I would do for those pizza cones... And that is a pure pregnant lady moment, sincere thoughts distracted by delicious food! ETA: and once again, paragraphs hate me.

effthisnoise · January 2015

pickles26 said:

KimberlyandThor2014 said:

@pickles26‌ what a horrible situation with your parents! I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! And to think you are supporting them, and they have the nerve to be so condescending and downright mean to you. Has it always been this bad between you all? Are they lashing out in a sort of f'ed up embarrassment/resentment that they are relying on you for living? No matter what, it's not okay! It's hard, especially when it's our parents, but I hope you are able to keep in perspective that their behavior is a total reflection of them and not at all based in truth about you. Again, so sorry you have to deal with it! On a side note, your siggy damn near makes me salivate! What I would do for those pizza cones... And that is a pure pregnant lady moment, sincere thoughts distracted by delicious food! ETA: and once again, paragraphs hate me.

Thanks for your words. My mom has always been BSC, my dad has been teetering on that edge for a while. I guess if you live with someone like her for long enough that behavior starts to seem normal. He just can't see that he excuses her behavior more often than not, but I'm supposed to condemn my husband and walk away from a 10 year marriage because he called them some names after they called him names and said horrible stuff about him. At some point they failed to recognize that I'm an adult and no longer a submissive child that has to bend to their will.

The agreement was never for them to live off of us for free, but they never consistently gave us money and up until October-ish I was cooking them dinner every night after working all day.

All the while they have no idea that I'm pregnant, but if they paid attention they would be able to tell. I lost a ton of weight 2 years ago, but I've unfortunately been gaining weight like crazy and I'm wearing maternity clothes so while i still have a lot of bloat and not necessarily a cute bump, I definitely look pregnant lately.

The pizza cones do look fantastic. I wonder if I could figure out how to make them????

Can you get them to move out earlier? They're mean to you and your husband, they're not (consistently) paying rent or helping you out, and they're just plain taking advantage of you. If I were you, I'd be concerned that they have no intention of leaving by the deadline you gave them when they can keep mooching off your generosity. Unless you meant that you asked them to move out at the end of this past July, in which case they've VERY MUCH outstayed their welcome. You may need to contact a lawyer about evicting them, depending on your state's laws, even if they don't have a lease.

Added to that, spring is the best time of year to sell a house, so if you're interested in selling, getting them out ASAP will give you the best opportunity. Good luck!

KimberlyandThor2014 · January 2015

@pickles26‌ I wish you the best of luck with this whole situation. It must be so hard on you. Getting them out, any way that you can, may be your best bet at this point

I hope it happens for you sooner rather than later and especially before the baby is born!

If you do make those ice cream pizzas, post a pic lol! Mmmmmm

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