OPP Tuesdays pregnancies, babies, children, and possible triggers

theholmanherd · January 2015

How's everyone's first OPP of 2015?

RufflesaurusRex · January 2015

Yesterday I visited with a friend and her newborn. We started TTC before they did and she was very interested in tracking her BBT, so I introduced her to that, and they successfully concieved on her third cycle of charting. Kind of sad it didn't work for us as easily as it did them.

Holding her baby boy was bittersweet, it made me want this even more. But he was a little dreamboat and nuzzled right into me for cuddles.

bookworm40 · January 2015

I was doing fine after my first failed IUI this week until yesterday. I went to visit my 95 year old aunt in the hospital and as I was walking into the lobby to meet my mom, a large family was waiting and out of the door of the women's area came a man who was all excited yelling it's a girl. 1st off I literally felt like I was in a scene from a movie. Lol. 2nd my mom actually started to tear up which made it that much harder on me. 3rd, when he said the name of the baby it was the same name DH and I would want to name a girl if we ever have one, my mother's middle name and great grandmothers name. So I went up to visit my aunt than got in my car and had a good ugly cry. I guess I needed it. But at the time I was truly happy for that family, it was really such pure joy in that lobby.

BunnyBerry · January 2015

We had a lovely visit with old friends and their two girls under 5. DH spent every moment on the floor with the girls, having the time of his life. I thought it was fun, too - not something I can do too often (she invited us for a "play date" after all), but a nice time. But I hate IF brain because it's causing me to fixate on a few thoughtless things that my friend said.

She knows all about our IF and so she invited me to spend all of a minute together in the kitchen without the girls so we could "talk." But she just kept saying that it will happen when it's meant to be, everything works out for a reason, etc. I have gotten pretty good about replying to those things - I just say, "Thanks. Of course, for plenty of people, they never actually have kids in the end. And it's a medical condition, so it's not like we can say it's God deciding we're better off not parenting."

But this is the part I am having trouble letting go of. I am really impressed with their parenting - they are excellent parents and the girls are calm, kind, loving, good at sharing, respectful, etc. I praised them, "I am taking notes all night, clearly you guys know what you're doing, I hope Mr. Bunny and I can raise kids this well" - about their playroom rules, bedtime routine, dinner routine, etc. which are all really effective. She rolled her eyes at her husband and said (with plenty of sarcasm - like, not in a nice way), "Gee, honey, ya think Bunny wants kids?" As if she took my statements as comparing or jealousy or something.

The thing is, we're all around 30 - we like socializing with adults. Why would we want to spend almost 5 hours playing with someone else's LOs and talking only about subjects that are directly relevant to parenting toddldrs? Because we are hoping to have kids. I am willing to bet that none of their friends without kids would want to come over for a "play date" like this. I wish she didn't think it was doing me a huge favor or something. Why is it that fertile women think it's a huge favor to let us hold a baby? It's bittersweet at best.

But the nicest part of this was DH's experience. He is more "on board" every day - which is also bittersweet, since it's making IF more painful for him.

BandM14 · January 2015

I'm sorry for your friend's attitude, @BunnyBerry.

@cupcakegal930 Eek that would be tough, especially seeing your Mom's emotions in response to it. Sometimes a good cry helps, I hope it did for you.

@Rufflesaurusrex My good friend is due at the end of the month, and it was the same thing for me when she started trying- I told her about charting BBT and OPKs and stuff, and it worked for them after a couple tries. I know it's going to be so bittersweet when she has the baby, which is awful to say I guess, but despite my happiness for them I am just shrouded in a bitter cloud of jealousy.

@lavishpeach FB "dear diary" posts about people's pregnancies drive me nuts too. But it sounds like you are handling it really well with your friend!

My first OPP of 2015 came on New Year's Day. We went to meet my cousin and his wife for a late lunch since they were visiting friends in our city (they live a few hours away), and of course the hostess brought a family with a baby around 6 months old to the table right next to us. What killed me was that I kept seeing DH steal glances and smiles at the baby, who kept staring at him. I just had this moment of incredible sadness, and a very weak moment where I felt like a failure for not being able to give him a child yet.

BunnyBerry · January 2015

@bluefairy5 Yes, I think that not being *quite* sure what was meant by the statement has made it hard to get it out of my head (I am someone who doesn't notice, or instantly forgets, slights or offenses from others for the most part, so it can be hard to figure out if people are trying to be mean).

@bandm14 I'm so sorry for the baby seated near you guys. I'm so sorry you were feeling like a failure. That's such a nasty SE of IF, making perfectly good people feel inadequate.

@cupcakegal930 I'm so sorry you had to see that theatrical announcement - and using YOUR special name! We heard a parent calling out our top girl name in a store a few months ago and it was enough to make us scratch it off the list...it just made us so sad/frustrated.

bookworm40 · January 2015

@BunnyBerry I'm sorry that happened.. That was a terrible thing she said to her husband.. You have a great comeback though for the whole "it will happen when it's your time" comment, I've been trying to come up with one myself because my MIL feels the need to say that to me all the time.. She actually tells me that everything is written in a book someplace and that it's in God's hands.. The other day I said to her, well it's 2015 so science can now re-write that book...

theholmanherd · January 2015

@BunnyBerry‌, that's awful. I would have felt upset and humiliated. I probably would have excused myself and left within a couple minutes of that and distanced myself from her for a while. But, my social skills are no-nonsense and, admittedly, unforgiving. I hope you can talk to her and work it out.

BunnyBerry · January 2015

Thanks, @theholmanherd. I'm not going to bring it up again with her - she kept offering that I should call and talk any time, she really wants to be supportive. But I don't think she can understand it at all. Makes me even more thankful that I have 3T. I was thinking how hard it must be for women who only hear the inane comments about IF and never have someone in their lives who can give them a different perspective.

mshandlebar · January 2015

Big hugs to everyone!

@osesecret‌ - what?! That is ridiculous!

@sammae‌ - I am glad your coworkers are learning to be more sensitive. There are some perks to being open about IF.

@firstarabesque‌ - I feel that way all of the time!!

@laurensc927‌ - I think it was good to cut your mom off. There is no reason you need to hear about OPPs when you don't really know the people.

@BandM14‌ - Watching the menfolk interact with kids can be the hardest part. I wish IF didn't make us feel like failures

@BunnyBerry -I really don't know what your friend was trying to say, but it sounds mean. And I don't like mean things, especially towards a person as nice as you. I am so glad YH is getting on board with everything!

babeRN101 · January 2015

@sammae‌ ; ur mom sounds awesome!

babeRN101 · January 2015

To splurge a little since I'm not 'with child', we are redecorating our living room through La-Z-Boy. We were having a blast picking out all the fabrics, colors, rugs, lamps when the saleslady suddenly couldn't stop taking about her new grandbaby and how much having her brought her so much joy. It made me think of how much I want to give my mom grand kids and how awesome of a Grandmum she would be.
Buzz. Kill.

Remylove1011 · January 2015

Big hugs to everyone!!

I just got my third baby picture text from my mom this week. She's been spending lots of time with my cousin who had a baby in December. I don't think she realizes that it's hurtful, but seriously stop sending me pictures!! I can see them on facebook!

edit. I can't spell

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