FTM Leave Question

purple_2012 · January 2015

I'm currently pregnant with my first. I'm due April 17th and as of now my last day of work will be April 15th. I'm beginning to wonder if I should take off sooner? My biggest fear is going into labor at school and everyone having to rush to figure out who is going to cover my class. I won't get paid for all of my time off, but I do qualify for FMLA. H says we'll be fine with out the extra pay days, but I'm still worried about money.

Will I be completely miserable working 2 days before my EDD? What would/did you do?

[Deleted User] · January 2015

I worked right up to the end. But everyone feels different towards the end.

Can you play it by ear and decide later?

purple_2012 · January 2015

They said if I needed to change dates I could, I'm such a big planner that it worries me not to know. Plus I need to start working on sub plans.

Mustardseed2007 · January 2015

April 17 is my bday! Congrats! I worked up until the end with both kids (even though I was on bed rest with the 2nd). For me, I just wanted to reserve all my time off (paid or unpaid) to be with my baby. I was more afraid of my water breaking than anyone having to cover for me, but I read that water breaking doesn't really happen that much as a first sign.

Eta: my 2nd ended up in nicu for 2.5 weeks, so it made me even more glad I could work toward the end. With her it was totally expected since they had to take her early but unexpected things do happen so it's nice to have a good cushion. Also, keep in mind that during the first year there are lots of wellness appointments, not to mention if your kid gets sick, which will be more likely if you are using dc.

jlaOK · January 2015

I worked up to the end with both of mine. I had to take unpaid time with both so for me having the max amount of time with them on leave far outweighed the fear of going into labor while at work.

litzo27 · January 2015

I don't know how FMLA works because my industry is different but if you have a set days you can take off for maternity I would try to save them as much as possible for after the birth. Lots of first time moms go 1-2 weeks over. Personally, I worked until the very end all three pregnancies. Do you get uncomfortable - sure. But you'll be uncomfortable laying on a couch as well. That said I had fairly uneventful pregnancies. I would aim to work to the end, prepare detailed lesson plans so a substitute can step in and know exactly where to pick up and play it by ear to see how your pregnancy goes.

ss265 · January 2015

litzo27 said:

I don't know how FMLA works because my industry is different but if you have a set days you can take off for maternity I would try to save them as much as possible for after the birth. Lots of first time moms go 1-2 weeks over. Personally, I worked until the very end all three pregnancies. Do you get uncomfortable - sure. But you'll be uncomfortable laying on a couch as well. That said I had fairly uneventful pregnancies. I would aim to work to the end, prepare detailed lesson plans so a substitute can step in and know exactly where to pick up and play it by ear to see how your pregnancy goes.

This! If you are a planner, you are not going to like the uncertainty of not knowing exactly when you are having the baby. I worked up until the very end with both of mine but worked from home the last 1-2 days before having them (both my kids came exactly 3 days before their due date even the one that was scheduled for a C-section the day after he was actually born). Sounds like you are a teacher so working from home probably isn't an option - I would just prepare as if you will be out and be ready to hand off at a moment's notice. Water only breaks in 10% of pregnancies so it's unlikely that you will have no warning at all.

DiveFrog · January 2015

In a nut shell, pregnancy is unpredictable. I had zero plans to require immediate induction and delivery 5 weeks early, but that's what happened.

The next time around, hopefully things go a bit smoother and I deliver closer/on/after my due date. However, since the timeline is so unpredictable and could easily vary by 4 weeks under perfect circumstances, I will plan to work until the end again.

Having already gone through things once, I know how much more valuable my limited time off is. It is much better decision in my experience to use this time once the baby arrives than before, no matter how miserable/tired I might feel.

MommyAtty · January 2015

With my first, I was interviewing to hire a new employee. I had lunch with a candidate and a group of people, left lunch for my OB appointment with a plan to be back at 2:00 for my interview (we do a day of interviews) only to be told by the OB that I was 3cm dilated, my "Braxton hicks" contractions were labor contractions, and my BP had spiked so I had to go to the hospital immediately. So yeah, worked up to the end. And I was probably less miserable than if I had been at home waiting. The second one, my water broke as I was about to leave for my office. I was sad that it got all over my fav maternity dress until I realized I no longer had need for a maternity dress.

Slb22 · January 2015

I worked right until the end. I delivered 6 days late on a Sunday and worked the whole week prior. As much as it sounded nice to take time off ahead of time and relax, I would have gone insane sitting around all day and would have been paranoid about going into labor the whole time.

I had 12 weeks FMLA which part of it was unpaid and I didn't want to waste any of that time prior to the baby coming. I also had the luxury of working from home the last week, which as a teacher you won't have.

shakinros · January 2015

I planned to work until a week before because I had a strenuous outdoor job but it ended up being too much so I took off two weeks before my due date. Then baby was 10 days late!

I echo everyone else that you'd probably be better off working as long as possible and putting your energy towards detailed lesson plans. Emergencies can happen but most first babies are late and most labors are long enough that you won't be in a mad dash to the hospital.

2chatter · January 2015

Labor with your first is likely to be long, so it's somewhat unlikely it would actually be a scramble, if that helps. I wish someone would have told me that because up until the day of I stressed out because I have to have a plan. It's not at all like movies. I thought I was in labor in the morning...had lunch plans with a friend who flew in for one day and a long afternoon of meetings. I was certain I was in labor before going to lunch, but my ctx were pretty far apart. I worked until 6pm, had dinner, my water broke at 10pm and DD wasn't born for another 24 hours.

Also, every labor is different. I was full term or beyond with all three of the kids and had to be induced (even after my water broke with the first). But the way each labor began was totally different - so just be prepared for anything. You could also deliver on April 10th - but you wouldn't take off two weeks before....hang in there!

73jewels · January 2015

I stopped working 10 days before, and wish I had stayed longer to use that time after he was born. Ideally I would have liked 3-4 days to relax and do some errands and what not, but the 10 days was like torture, bored, with nothing to do!

Like everyone else says, I would wait till it gets a little closer, and see how you feel. If you have a job that you are on your feet a lot, it might be a lot harder for you towards the end and you might need to be off. As much as you want to plan, I doulw wait, if you can, and decide in March.

Leap08 · January 2015

With my first, I had some complications and my MW put me on modified rest at 37.5 weeks. I was induced 2 days later. My second was such an easy, uncomplicated pregnancy. My due date was on a Sunday. I started maternity leave Friday (worked 1/2 day) and went into labor Saturday evening. I always wanted to work as long as possible to maximize the amount of time at home with my baby.

potbellypig · January 2015

I left a little sooner with my first, 2 weeks I think? We get a year of leave here though. It was nice to relax before her arrival because I wasn't sleeping well at all by then. It also gave me lots of time to think and get anxious over the labour. I would do it again though. I wouldn't want to work until the end.

banks81 · January 2015

Ditto what a pp said about getting lesson plans set, even if you aren't planning to be out. I wouldn't go crazy, but probably plan in case you went 2 weeks early. That way, you are set if 1) you do go early or 2) you decide you can't do it and want to take that time off.

I worked until the end, but I also WFH. I did, however, have everything completely organized and transitioned so that I wasn't doing any daily tasks for the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy. A little bit different as I understand you'd have to get a substitute and can't just start handing tasks off to someone early. But, having the lesson plans set, even if you might be there, would be beneficial.

sdlaura · January 2015

Add me to the list of working until the end. I agree with the PPs to have plans set in advance. Also that first labors are usually long and it's unlikely that you'll be scrambling. Even wtih my super quick 2nd labor I could figure out that I was going into labor like 3.5 hours before actually having the baby. With both labors I woke up in labor instead of it happening at the office.

I think that the unpredictability of going into labor is good preparation for the unpredictability of kids in general

BabyHope2013 · January 2015

I also worked up until I delivered. I worked a full day---went home, caught up on a few more emails and some stuff around the house before going to bed. Woke up at 3 a.m. with contractions, literally the day before I was due. I was convinced they were just Braxton Hix---so I woke up, took a shower and cleaned my bathroom before waking up my husband to go to the hospital at 5 a.m. I didn't deliver my son until 1:17 p.m. that day.

I wouldn't stress out about going into labor at work. You could go into labor 2 weeks before your due date all the way to 2 weeks after your due date, there isn't really a way to know when it is going to happen. I would have gone crazy just sitting at home, feeling huge--waiting. You are going to want to spend the time with your LO once they are born anyway.

And if you are a FTM, your labor isn't going to be that fast where you can't get to a hospital.

Beevol · January 2015

I worked right up until I went into labor with both my girls. Being home with my baby is precious to me and I only get so much time (FMLA and money considerations both) and the thought of 'wasting' those precious newborn days while pregnant is super depressing to me. Especially if you are in the US, every day you take off prior to the birth is a day you don't get with your baby later. Plus, as others have said, you can't actually plan for anything with pregnancy - you could deliver on your due date, you could be 2 weeks late, you could need to go on bedrest at 32 weeks and it be a moot point anyway.

purple_2012 · January 2015

Thanks ladies! As of now I will keep my leave dates the same and just "play it by ear."

TheBorg7of9 · January 2015

I have had two babies. I took off early for both and it was wonderful. I went to movies. I went out to lunch. I was miserable at work and glad to be done.

ridesbuttons · January 2015

I had both my kids on a Monday. Both times I worked the Friday before.

Early labour for most first time moms is a gradual process. It is not the rushing around in a panic like you see in he movies. Your employer knows you are pregnant and will have plans in place to accommodate your leave well ahead of your due date.

If you go into labour early, don't sweat the work angle. It will be taken care of and life will go on.

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