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Helping pay for a baby shower

brdwaygirl21brdwaygirl21 member
in Baby Showers
My mother was planning on throwing a baby shower for me, which initially was only going to include my immediate family (aunts, cousins, neighbors who are basically surrogates) at her house. My mother-in-law, who who lives in Florida (I live in Chicago), asked about plans for a shower and then basically assumed that she could come along with my 3 sisters-in-law. my niece on her side, her sister and then possibly a few friends who invited her to their daughters baby showers. Everyone besides her lives in Illinois. My mother was fine with this, but contacted my mother-in-law and asked that since her family/friends were possibly coming, she thought it would be better to co-host a shower, where my parents would cover 2/3 of the bill she would cover 1/3 due to the family size difference, since the additional number of people is causing the location to be at a larger venue and not at my mother's house. My mother-in-law balked at it, giving the reason that her family will probably not come anyway and she also has to pay for flight/hotel arrangements.
I'm a little upset that my MIL is balking at the idea of pitching in to it when this is her grandchild as well, and my parents have to give number/put down on a deposit and reserve a room they wouldn't have to if her side wasn't invited, and possibly lose money. Are my parents and I out of line for feeling this way? Thank you!
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Re: Helping pay for a baby shower

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  • sschwegesschwege member
    MandJS said:
    There is no reason your MIL needs to pay. No one owes a baby shower. BUT, there is also no reason your mom needs to include your MIL's guest list in her plans. You should stay out of it, though, and let your mom and MIL work it out. 
    This X1000 and I think it needs repeating, stay out of it!  I don't say it in a mean way, but you don't want to be anywhere close to that, this could turn bad really fast!
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  • dufferoodufferoo member
    The host chooses the guest list and pays. Simple as that.
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  • MySallyGirlMySallyGirl member
    Yep I'd let your mom and MIL work it out.  MIL can always host her own shower if she wants to invite all those people.
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  • delujm0delujm0 member
    Your MIL and SILs should be invited to your mom's shower. But if your mom is the sole host, she is under no obligation to invite any other guests that your MIL wants her to.

    I am having two separate showers for this reason. My MILs guest list to my bridal shower was almost 50 people, and my mom just wants to have a small baby shower at her house. So it will just be my family plus my MIL and SIL on the invite list. My MIL will then host a separate event for all of her people and invite only my mom and sister from my side. A little annoying since I have to travel for both events but I appreciate their generosity and will gladly head up there.
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  • girlymama79girlymama79 member
    I would run and hide if my MIL and my mom where having issues.
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