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selma8 · January 2015

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Schnurette · January 2015

Once I asked DH "What if dogs had people butts. Like, they were all furry and cute and normal but then under their tail was a big ol' bare people butt?"

I am pretty sure he has never questioned our marriage so hard.

And also, I too am turning into LAY OFF ME I'M STARVING. I have sent a gif of that to DH several times when I feel myself getting out of control (DH LETS GO TO MCDONALDS AND THEN MAKE POUTINE FOR LUNCH AND ALSO CHIPS AND MAYBE A CINNAMON BUN AND OOOOOH I COULD GO FOR A CHICKEN PITA RIGHT NOW).

My doc hasn't told me to stop eating so much (yet - they've only weighed me once) but I'm sure that will come in due course lol (although with DD I went from 170 to over 200lbs without anyone other than myself being freaked out...by the end I refused to look at the scale and told the nurses that I would throat punch them if they told me what I weighed...hence "over 200lbs" rather than some specific number...)

girlymama79 · January 2015

Last night I had a dream about wild buffalo roaming around my yard. I woke up and spent the next hour thinking about 'what if buffalo really did roam my yard' before I realized this was stupid and they never will.

leenziepops · January 2015

Lol @selma8‌

I'm going to invent a Pregnancy Periscope (copyright do not steal). You attach this pipe thing to your belly button then you look through the other end and you can watch your baby all day long.

Imagine a bar designed for babies. Instead of beer taps there's a whole row of different types of boobs and nipples where they can crawl from one to another to get milk drunk and pass out.

blu-eyedwife · January 2015

Nothing especially pregnancy related. But last night as we were falling asleep I posed this question to DH:

If you were handcuffed to someone inside a car, and the car door was closed and drove away, which do you think would break first, the handcuff or your wrist?

gingerbabe · January 2015

selma8 said:

Today, I got pretty pumped at the idea of my belly button popping and FINALLY being able to reealllly clean all in and around and up in there. (I have a pretty intricate inny)

My belly button never popped out. With my first it just got all weird and large like. It basically stretched out instead of popping out. I hate it. And it didn't go away after pregnancy. It wasn't as huge, but it's like I have extra, loose, skin around my belly button now. I hate it. Did I mention how I hate it....

GASuzuki · January 2015

I keep thinking that because my DD is so much like me, this LO will be like my DH. In my mind, the universe has to be balanced and three of m in the house would tip the balance and cause all kinds of chaos.

klkonwi · January 2015

I have weird thoughts that the baby won't look like us and will look like a grandparent and not necessarily the best looking grandparents. I know this is horrible but it's a legit concern and I obsess over it.......... Flame away!

deutschbaby · January 2015

I have paranoid thoughts that this baby won't speak English. Which is ludicrous because I speak English, and as the primary care giver I'm fully capable of teaching my child English. But DH refuses to speak English with our kid (which I support), so that they will become fluent in German and can talk to their grandparents (his parents don't speak English). We live int eh states so there is much more of a risk that this baby won't actually become fluent in German than there is a risk it won't learn English.

But still. I get paranoid that it will only speak German and I won't be able to communicate with my baby, and DH and the baby will talk all the time like in a secret code. (my German is rudimentary at best). I'm nuts.

Yesterday I asked DH why hemorrhoids are not called asteroids.... :-) Totally should be.

elvinnoe · January 2015

My friend and I were talking about potty training yesterday and the thought popped in my head, what if we had to be diaper trained? Like if one day DH told me I had to wear diapers now and poop and pee on myself all day?

selma8 · January 2015

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selma8 · January 2015

missjenniebean · January 2015

I am so glad I am not the only one thinking weird things! My SO just stares at me in response. hahah

Love you ladies!

leenziepops · January 2015

mrskblack11 said:

sensitivesally said:

Gotta love the weird mind tangents, and yours are awesome, @selma8. I think my "thinker" is set to strange at all times, pregnant or not! Lately I've been pestering my husband to learn how to hot wire cars. You know, because a zombie apocalypse would make it impossible to look this up on the internet, and do you think we'd actually find a library book with that kind of info?

As to food thing, I can sympathize. I just experienced my DAILY mourning period after having finished my lunch and realizing that I am, indeed, not full, not at all.

I often ponder what we would do if there was a zombie apocalypse. My boss and her neighbors have made a pact to stick together and blockade their street. Sometimes I think those doomsday preppers are smarter than us all......

After my display at the shooting range last year, my DH said that I don't get a gun in the event of the zombie apocalypse but instead they'll use me as bait to draw out the zombies. So not fair. I want a gun.

nygr8230 · January 2015

I had a dream last night that my DH was having an affair with my doctor!!! Lmao

C6091 · January 2015

What if my babies dad isn't my babies dad.. Even though I know he is as he's the only person I've slept with since that one awful time with that loser when I was 17 before I'd even met my SO and I'm pretty sure I had regular periods up until October before my bfp. Minds are weird.

staciecoffey · January 2015

Oh my lanta @maplebaby‌!! Asteroids!! I freaking love it! I've always had random thoughts/dreams and they've definitely gotten a lot worse pregnancy. My poor hubby will sometimes look at me with the "did that really just come out of your mouth" look and all I can do is giggle! I always cal the baby a raisen(red headed asian) because my hubby is a flaming ginger and I get mistaken for asian on the daily(totally not trying to be offensive) and lay night I definitely dreamed when they put my little boy in my hands, he was a legit raisen with red hair(cousin it style)(damn all this heartburn) needless to say, I laid awake for 20 minutes giggling at myself.

leenziepops · January 2015

staciecoffey said:

Oh my lanta @maplebaby‌!! Asteroids!! I freaking love it! I've always had random thoughts/dreams and they've definitely gotten a lot worse pregnancy. My poor hubby will sometimes look at me with the "did that really just come out of your mouth" look and all I can do is giggle! I always cal the baby a raisen(red headed asian) because my hubby is a flaming ginger and I get mistaken for asian on the daily(totally not trying to be offensive) and lay night I definitely dreamed when they put my little boy in my hands, he was a legit raisen with red hair(cousin it style)(damn all this heartburn) needless to say, I laid awake for 20 minutes giggling at myself.

You totes look asian in your avatar!!

staciecoffey · January 2015

leenziepops said:

staciecoffey said:

Oh my lanta @maplebaby‌!! Asteroids!! I freaking love it! I've always had random thoughts/dreams and they've definitely gotten a lot worse pregnancy. My poor hubby will sometimes look at me with the "did that really just come out of your mouth" look and all I can do is giggle! I always cal the baby a raisen(red headed asian) because my hubby is a flaming ginger and I get mistaken for asian on the daily(totally not trying to be offensive) and lay night I definitely dreamed when they put my little boy in my hands, he was a legit raisen with red hair(cousin it style)(damn all this heartburn) needless to say, I laid awake for 20 minutes giggling at myself.

You totes look asian in your avatar!!

Best part is, I have nothing even close to that in my heritage...

staciecoffey · January 2015

@tashany99‌ , no ma'am! Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, Dutch and Native American somewhere in there.

leenziepops · January 2015

staciecoffey said:

@tashany99‌ , no ma'am! Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, Dutch and Native American somewhere in there.

And that ladies and gentleman, is how you make an asian!

kej0004 · January 2015

Schnurette said:

Once I asked DH "What if dogs had people butts. Like, they were all furry and cute and normal but then under their tail was a big ol' bare people butt?"

My roommate from college texted my like a month ago and just said "Are humans the only animals with butt cheeks?" And I was like.... WAIT, ARE WE? #-o

As far as my strange thoughts go, I routinely sit on the couch and pet one of the dogs and ask my husband "Isn't it weird that we just have these 2 animals living in our house? On purpose?"

beersandweirs · January 2015

kej0004 said:

Schnurette said:

Once I asked DH "What if dogs had people butts. Like, they were all furry and cute and normal but then under their tail was a big ol' bare people butt?"

My roommate from college texted my like a month ago and just said "Are humans the only animals with butt cheeks?" And I was like.... WAIT, ARE WE? #-o

As far as my strange thoughts go, I routinely sit on the couch and pet one of the dogs and ask my husband "Isn't it weird that we just have these 2 animals living in our house? On purpose?"

I have had this thought a number of times pre-pregnancy. I think about it as I watch my cat walk around on my furniture and put her butt wherever she pleases.

awheeler4311 · January 2015

Oh my god this thread is amazing. I feel like we sound like a bunch of stoners. Can I have some funions to go with this convo??

My weird thought is that there is a HUMAN INSIDE OF ME. Another soul in the room. I look at pregnant people and think there's not two people in the room, there's THREE!! Sometimes i get weirded out and compare the growing fetus to the show monsters inside of me. It trips me out. And then I remember its a cute baby and not a weird parasite.

sassypants2010 · January 2015

awheeler4311 said:
Oh my god this thread is amazing. I feel like we sound like a bunch of stoners. Can I have some funions to go with this convo??

My weird thought is that there is a HUMAN INSIDE OF ME. Another soul in the room. I look at pregnant people and think there's not two people in the room, there's THREE!! Sometimes i get weirded out and compare the growing fetus to the show monsters inside of me. It trips me out. And then I remember its a cute baby and not a weird parasite.

I almost peed my pants laughing because the other day when I was talking to my husband I thought out loud about how we are organic 3d printers!

neongreen · January 2015

So far, the most elaborate "what-if" scenario I've concocted is worrying that one (or both?) of the babies will need a wheelchair, which of course wouldn't be the end of the world, but due to the layout of the stairs in our house, we wouldn't be able to install any of those chair lift things, and we'd probably have to move, and we'd never get as good of a deal on another house as we did this house, and then we'd lose money, and then we'd never be able to care for these kids, especially if one has health problems, and and and and.....

AHEM. On a lighter note!

Last night I dreamed that it was discovered that my husband wasn't the father of the babies, but it was actually my (male, also married) best friend. Aaaaawkward....

In a perfect world, I'd love to do a fantasy-themed nursery, with castles and dragons and bright neutral colors and whatnot. I haven't found any pre-made stuff with this theme, so it would take a lot of work, and while I am pretty creative, I don't want to chance getting started and giving up halfway through. The thought of hiring an artist to do a kick-ass mural in that room has crossed my mind, but it's so impractical for a number of reasons. (I still might do just a little bit of research on having it done, just to satisfy my curiosity.)

taboullio84 · January 2015

blu-eyedwife said:
Nothing especially pregnancy related. But last night as we were falling asleep I posed this question to DH:

If you were handcuffed to someone inside a car, and the car door was closed and drove away, which do you think would break first, the handcuff or your wrist?

This is a good question... Lol

kemdupuis · January 2015

The other day, I told DH I have a penis inside of me ALL. THE. TIME. I don't think he thought it was as funny as I did

awheeler4311 · January 2015

@kemdupuis‌ I just told that to my H and he laughed hysterically. He also has the maturity level of a 6th grader.

PS I just read these all to him and I cannot stop laughing. He was like what the hell is wrong with you pregnant people?

leenziepops · January 2015

kemdupuis said:

The other day, I told DH I have a penis inside of me ALL. THE. TIME. I don't think he thought it was as funny as I did

We say this ALL the time and we both think its super funny!!!! Actually i think DH came up with it first.

(Disclaimer: We think we have a boy because we had a random scan at 15+ weeks but waiting for the proper AS to confirm. I've tried to educate DH but he keeps telling everyone we have a boy. )

ETA: DH also goes around saying "My penis made a penis!" in a voice so proud like he found the cure to cancer. What's with guys and penises?

staciecoffey · January 2015

Omg! I am laughing so damn hard, my boss probably thinks I've lost it! When I think of the sperm/egg process all I can think of is family guy and how stewie is flying the sperm ship and blowing up the other sperm.

mcp6286 · January 2015

@neongreen‌ that's exactly what my DH says we're doing for our compromise in the nursery if Baby is a girl. I want pretty princess and he wants dragons, so we're combining the two. He swears he and my brother can paint the mural. I told them they have to finish it by March so I have time to make them paint over it if I hate it lol

lfaithlove · January 2015

When I lay down on my back, I can feel the blood surging through my body... Today I thought, "I am what vampires dream about".

Schnurette · January 2015

girlymama79 said:
Last night I had a dream about wild buffalo roaming around my yard. I woke up and spent the next hour thinking about 'what if buffalo really did roam my yard' before I realized this was stupid and they never will.

DDs fave book is called 'Moose' and is about a kid who goes out in the yard and there is a moose...but his parents don't believe him because there are no moose in their yard. ..but there iiiiiiiiis

And it is somehow reassuring that I'm not the only one who wonders about weird things lol

crikit83 · January 2015

leenziepops said:

kemdupuis said:

The other day, I told DH I have a penis inside of me ALL. THE. TIME. I don't think he thought it was as funny as I did

We say this ALL the time and we both think its super funny!!!! Actually i think DH came up with it first.

(Disclaimer: We think we have a boy because we had a random scan at 15+ weeks but waiting for the proper AS to confirm. I've tried to educate DH but he keeps telling everyone we have a boy. )

ETA: DH also goes around saying "My penis made a penis!" in a voice so proud like he found the cure to cancer. What's with guys and penises?

If I grew my own penis, the first thing I'd do with it is helicopter dick.

BabsTheBunny · January 2015

I was having my first ultrasound yesterday at 17 weeks and got no sleep the night before because I was convinced that we would find out the baby would have no nose. I kept telling DH I would be giving birth to Voldemort.

)

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