FTM Mistakes

bkmama · January 2015

Did you make any silly/dumb mistakes as a FTM? Any good stories?

I thought this might be good MOTN reading

bkmama · January 2015

I'll go first- this just happened today and I still feel guilty about it. LO was fussy and gassy, so I decided to rub her tummy. She seemed to like it so I kept doing it. A few minutes later, she projectile vomited the entire contents of her stomach all over herself, me, and the bed. So much milk. Everywhere. I must have Heimlich maneuvered it out with my tummy massage. Will not be doing that again!

Stephij1 · January 2015

Mine was feeling guilty every time my DD cried. It was like I was doing something wrong because "I should be able to soothe my own baby, right?!?" No. Sometimes babies just cry regardless of what you do. It's not a reflection on your parenting skills.

4littlebears · January 2015

The one that stands out to me is when ds was only a few weeks old, maybe 6? He started crying all the time and if I wasn't holding him/moving around he wouldn't stop. I just thought, great... This is colic. Then it dawned on me. It was like October and I only had him in these short sleeve onesies with pants. He was cold. I put warmer clothes on him and he was fine. So much for "if you're comfortable, so is baby"! I felt so stupid/bad.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

The user and all related content has been deleted.

BookitBoo · January 2015

This ones really weird and long:

When DS was born DH was traveling often for work. We lived in his town in his grandparents old house. This neighborhood was not the best neighborhood, but we never had any problems because DH's grandparents were really well liked and respected in the area.

I had PPD pretty badly so my friend would come stay with DS and I a few nights a week. One night around 10 pm, while BFF was over and taking a shower, a young lady came to my front door. DS was in his bassinet asleep beside me and I was sitting on the couch. The front door was open but the screen door was shut. She knocked on the screen door and opened it and -came into the house-. I jumped up and put my body between her and the baby and asked what I could do for her. She gave me a story about her car being broken down at the gas station and needing money for gas or baby diapers or something. I told her we didn't keep cash in the house (truth), and that unfortunately we would be unable to help her. She came in even further. I tried telling her again, and she still wouldn't leave.

PPD is no joke and I went into full fight or flight mode. I told her that my husband was taking a shower and I would just give the baby to him and take her to the nearest ATM and get cash for her. I picked DS up, barged in on my naked friend and handed her the squirming baby and told her not to come out until we left and to lock the door. And then I left.

I got the girl money from an ATM, and then I drove her to the has station she said she had broken down at. No car. She asked me to drive her to another house near where we lived. Supposedly it was her aunts house and they had her car. She looked terrified (maybe she was scared of me?) she got out of my car and talked to someone and got back in promptly. She asked me to drive her back to the gas station and was going to ask me to drive her somewhere else when I told her I needed to go home and help my husband. I left her at the gas station. Everyone was pretty pissed at me. DH was livid, and t was one of the stupidest things I have ever done in my life but I really just needed the pushy stranger away from my baby and out of my house and that was the only thing I could think of.

The next day when we went to the store we saw her being arrested at another house up the street. I never saw her again, but I never left the screen door unlocked again either.

kellyfo14 · January 2015

@BookitBoo Ack! That is scary. At least it was a reaction as a mother, I did stupid things as a late adolescent that I would never want my children to do. I.e. heading over with a few friends to the house of some guy we met at a coffee shop to watch a movie. Nothing ever happened but I consider myself lucky. I had a very very hard time saying no to people at that age.

As far as FTM mistakes I have two to mention. The first was turning on lights and TV at night feeding for my first. I think she would have fed quicker and headed to bed sooner if she wasn't stimulated. I also dropped my phone on DD while nursing once. I felt terrible! As I should!

bkmama · January 2015

@BookitBoo‌ yikes! Glad everything turned out ok in the end.

@kellyfo14‌ I hate having pushy house guests for that reason. They want to hold the baby as much as possible and she gets crabby after missing enough naps due to overstimulation and has a hard time getting to sleep.

Of course, the guests are full of advice about what to do and what she wants. It took me a while to figure out what was happening, but from now on I am going to lay down the law when she starts getting sleepy around 9-10pm, which is the time she's been falling asleep normally. We are going to my bedroom, nursing in dim lighting and quiet, and going the f*ck to sleep. Grrrr.

rosiedemps · January 2015

bkmama said:
I'll go first- this just happened today and I still feel guilty about it. LO was fussy and gassy, so I decided to rub her tummy. She seemed to like it so I kept doing it. A few minutes later, she projectile vomited the entire contents of her stomach all over herself, me, and the bed. So much milk. Everywhere. I must have Heimlich maneuvered it out with my tummy massage. Will not be doing that again!

She probably feels better though

bkmama · January 2015

rosiedemps said:

bkmama said:
I'll go first- this just happened today and I still feel guilty about it. LO was fussy and gassy, so I decided to rub her tummy. She seemed to like it so I kept doing it. A few minutes later, she projectile vomited the entire contents of her stomach all over herself, me, and the bed. So much milk. Everywhere. I must have Heimlich maneuvered it out with my tummy massage. Will not be doing that again!
She probably feels better though

She did actually fall sound asleep right after I cleaned her up and refilled her stomach with one boob of milk. Slept for 4 hours straight. So you're probably right!

Jellybean707 · January 2015

My biggest FTM mistake was not kicking people out when it was time to feed LO. I think this really impacted my supply and breastfeeding relationship with LO. Instead of feeding the recommended 8+ times the first day I nursed only 3 times because of visitors holding him. It only got worse after that.

This is not a mistake I will make again!

llambrose · January 2015

BookitBoo said:
This ones really weird and long:

When DS was born DH was traveling often for work. We lived in his town in his grandparents old house. This neighborhood was not the best neighborhood, but we never had any problems because DH's grandparents were really well liked and respected in the area.

I had PPD pretty badly so my friend would come stay with DS and I a few nights a week. One night around 10 pm, while BFF was over and taking a shower, a young lady came to my front door. DS was in his bassinet asleep beside me and I was sitting on the couch. The front door was open but the screen door was shut. She knocked on the screen door and opened it and -came into the house-. I jumped up and put my body between her and the baby and asked what I could do for her. She gave me a story about her car being broken down at the gas station and needing money for gas or baby diapers or something. I told her we didn't keep cash in the house (truth), and that unfortunately we would be unable to help her. She came in even further. I tried telling her again, and she still wouldn't leave.

PPD is no joke and I went into full fight or flight mode. I told her that my husband was taking a shower and I would just give the baby to him and take her to the nearest ATM and get cash for her. I picked DS up, barged in on my naked friend and handed her the squirming baby and told her not to come out until we left and to lock the door. And then I left.

I got the girl money from an ATM, and then I drove her to the has station she said she had broken down at. No car. She asked me to drive her to another house near where we lived. Supposedly it was her aunts house and they had her car. She looked terrified (maybe she was scared of me?) she got out of my car and talked to someone and got back in promptly. She asked me to drive her back to the gas station and was going to ask me to drive her somewhere else when I told her I needed to go home and help my husband. I left her at the gas station. Everyone was pretty pissed at me. DH was livid, and t was one of the stupidest things I have ever done in my life but I really just needed the pushy stranger away from my baby and out of my house and that was the only thing I could think of.

The next day when we went to the store we saw her being arrested at another house up the street. I never saw her again, but I never left the screen door unlocked again either.

That is scary! I am glad everything worked out ok!

One of my first big mistakes was letting everyone be here when we first got home. DD got super overstimulated and couldn't nurse, we both ended up in tears. Another stupid thing was letting my sister invite her brand new boyfriend to come and stay in our tiny house with everyone here those first few days. It was super crowded and uncomfortable and that guy saw way more of my boobs than he needed to!

Edvent · January 2015

I can't think of anything specific (although I know there were some), but I definitely had too many guests and took too few naps!

It's not really a FTM fail but I have a hilarious video of my two little sisters (they were 19 and 22 at the time) trying to swaddle DD. They also put her diaper on once and it completely fell off when we picked her up!

4littlebears · January 2015

I'm glad I'm not the only one @beckydewell. I'm sure you'll think of it this time. We'd better not forget, it's still winter. lol

Maebb · January 2015

This is more of a funny story -

About day 2 home from the hospital, DS hadn't pooped, and we were getting really concerned. Finally the nurse said we could give him a tiny bit of juice mixed with water, and sometimes a rectal thermometer would stimulate the rectum enough to get things moving. Well, I did it over the kitchen sink after giving him a bath, and the poop just started coming out like chocolate soft serve ice cream. It was so much, and I was horrified! I think DS felt better after that, and everything was fine, but oh, the poop.

BackseatDriver · January 2015

I followed "rules" too closely. I was so frustrated that I couldn't get DS to nurse longer than 6 minutes. Turned out he was getting 4 oz in that time and he was full. Oops.

I also pumped too much/too long each session. I should have paid attention to the volume I was getting rather than the clock. They said pump 15-20 min so that is what I did.

Letting my son get overtired. Sleep begets sleep. Really.

The dumbest were diaper related. I didn't know the proper way to clean after the circ and he got a little adhesion which the pedi took care of. I also didn't know you had to point the penis down so they don't pee out the top of the diaper. Where do people learn this stuff?

Maebb · January 2015

Oh yeah, DS fell off the bed and out of the baby swing too. Never tell yourself, "Oh, he isn't really mobile yet. I'm sure he'll be fine here just for a minute." No! Somehow he was able to roll over at 2 weeks old or inch-worm himself off the bed, and I felt horrible. The doctor reassured me that he was fine and it happens to almost everyone, but I felt awful.

kellyfo14 · January 2015

This wasn't me but my IL's have 3 boys, DH was the third but when their second was just a week old the 2 year old walked into the room holding him upside down and dropped him on his head. Most terrifying story ever. Thankfully he was alright! He's a little messed up now but that's for other reasons. .

kellyfo14 · January 2015

This wasn't me but my IL's have 3 boys, DH was the third but when their second was just a week old the 2 year old walked into the room holding him upside down and dropped him on his head. Most terrifying story ever. Thankfully he was alright! He's a little messed up now but that's for other reasons. .

lavet22 · January 2015

OK, my bad mom moment...

DS1 was about 5wks old and I was nursing him on my bed. All of a sudden, I feel a "scurry" going up my arm and look down to see a SPIDER crawling up my arm at super speed towards my head. I freak out, forget what I'm doing, jump up, and paw the thing off me. DS1, meanwhile, bounces off the bed

He, thankfully, landed on a pillow on the floor, but I felt so horrible!! I called DH, my parents, and contemplated the pediatrician because I was sure I'd just damaged my baby forever (even though he cried for, like, a second and then was completely fine). I'm happy to report he has no permanent injuries from being bounced onto the pillow

Disneygeek77 · January 2015

The first time I drove with DD alone, I forgot to buckle her in her car seat. It was wintertime and she had a car seat cover, so I didn't see she was unbuckled.

Anyways, I was on maternity leave but decided to take her to my work to visit with my coworkers. I remember I was so proud of myself, I had all the stuff I needed and was making great time. Then I thought " Hey wait a minute, did I buckle her in ? Surely I did and can't remember. It is probably one of those things like turning off the stove where you do it so much you don't specifically remember turning off the stove, right ? But what if I am wrong and she isn't buckled in and we get in an accident ?"

So I decided to exit the highway and check. Sure enough, I never buckled her in. She was just sitting in her car seat. I started to cry and couldn't believe I did that. I felt so terrible, but DH did the same thing about a month later. We learned that car seat covers are great, but they can do the whole " Out of sight, out of mind " thing since when the car seat cover is on you can't tell if they are unbuckled or not.

kellyfo14 · January 2015

This wasn't me but my IL's have 3 boys, DH was the third but when their second was just a week old the 2 year old walked into the room holding him upside down and dropped him on his head. Most terrifying story ever. Thankfully he was alright! He's a little messed up now but that's for other reasons. .

kellyfo14 · January 2015

Sorry for the repeat posts! My internet is totally ducked up today!!!

raveness · January 2015

The lesson I'm learning here is to always buckle up the baby, and double check to make sure baby is buckled up.

When I was a baby, my parents didn't buckle me into the shopping cart. Someone came around the corner with their cart and rammed ours. Apparently, I was squirmy and when this happened, it sent me flying out of the cart. Luckily, my dad noticed and dove to the ground to catch me just in time, inches from the hard linoleum.

BackseatDriver · January 2015

@Disneygeek77 I had always been in the habit of keeping my son buckled whenever he was in his seat. It might have been the car seat manual that advised to always keep them buckled so that they don't get tangled on the straps. Anyway it helped ensure I didn't forget to buckle him when I put him in the car. Also it helped with another FTM mistake I made:

When you are picking up the car seat off the ground make sure the handle is in the upright locked position first BEFORE you lift it. Otherwise you can dump the seat forward as you pick it up. You can test it out when your baby isn't in the seat. Hopefully if it happens to you while your baby is in the seat you will have him or her securely buckled!

MusicFanatic · January 2015

I didn't put diapers on quick enough in the first few weeks. I had no idea newborn girls could pee "up" like a boy and soak you. Oops. Lesson learned very quickly and now diaper changes are much quicker. I also didn't realize sometimes they pee as soon as you take the diaper off.

I also learned very quickly to never say "oh that won't happen just this one time.." and to pack a shirt in a diaper bag for me. One time we were in a restaurant and I was feeding Zoe, and I burped her.. I didn't bother with a cloth, she doesn't always spit. So I said "whatever... it's in the bag and I'm too lazy to get it out..." and she burped and spit up. ALL over my shoulder. So easily prevented. I stunk, I was in public and I had a nasty shirt (and we were in a restaurant in a mall so had to then walk through to car). Now I keep a spare t-shirt in the bag just in case. And I always use a cloth on my shoulder in public.

LuckyPenny1231 · January 2015

Putting too much pressure on myself in general. It's ok if your baby cries. Nobody can be a perfect mother 24/7. Don't lock yourself away in your house because you have a fussy baby and you're terrified of them screaming in public.

stephchris0321 · January 2015

DS rolled off the couch once when he was two months old. I kinda freaked out, but he was fine!

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