Am I Being Selfish/Immature? — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

Am I Being Selfish/Immature?

I lately cannot stand my husband.  Whenever our daughter is around it is like I am completely invisible.  I talk to him and if our daughter says something- he ignores what I am saying and answers her.  She is 2! Whenever she is awake all of his focus is on her and it is extremely frustrating and makes me feel terrible. I don't want to say anything because I feel like I sound like I'm jealous.  But, I don't believe that is my problem.  It is just that I feel like he is different towards me when our child is around and I don't like it.  He also lets her get away with everything-she will scream and yell and he doesn't even try and set her straight which makes it hard for me to deal with her because she has no limits and think she runs the house.  I feel my resentment towards him growing and sometimes can't stand to be around him.  As dads and dads to be I ask for your advice as to how I should approach this or should I let it be as I sound immature?

Re: Am I Being Selfish/Immature?

  • It is damn near impossible for my H and I to have a conversation when the kids are awake.
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  • Overall, I think that's how life is a lot of the time when you have a 2yo. You are lucky in the fact your husband likes spending so much time with her though. Some guys don't even pay attention to their children.
    There are 2 things you can mention to him though.
    1. The screaming: Tell him that when he gives in to her screams without telling her it's not nice it is making your job harder. Tell him we need to react to the screaming consistently. Then decide how that is going to be. She is 2 though so screaming happens.
    2. Mention to him you miss your alone time with him.
    Other notes. Interruptions happen. My son is almost 4 and I am only now starting to tell him that interrupting isn't nice. Before now I think it would have been pointless.
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  • This can be a very difficult transition in life. Are you able to express the way you feel with your husband? Have you considered indivivual or couples counseling? It is important for both of you to find some alone time? HUGS!


  • polooo27polooo27 member
    edited January 2015

    Do you think she needs counseling or are you trying to get business since everyone of your posts so far has suggested counseling?

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