How do you put your baby to bed?

AlwaysAforeigner · January 2015

I don't know if there was already a thread like this, but how do you put your LO go down for naps and for the night?

For us it's a struggle every time. She will be fed, swaddled, white noise, clean diaper, etc, but then the actual act of getting her to sleep is an hour long process. We swing/rock her and she cries almost all that time, until finally she is worn out. We are second time parents, but this time it's more difficult and we feel that we are doing something wrong. If she's comfortable, she should't be screaming through the rocking. We've tried different types of rocking/not rocking at all and different positions and sometimes it works, but then she gets used to it and back to screaming she goes. She won't take a pacifier (although we feel that she would benefit from one), so that's out of the question.

Serunatu · January 2015

I think the bedtime thread some people shared their experience on how they get LO to sleep. I usually follow the pattern of nurse, diaper change, nurse, and cuddle until she's asleep. Once she is sleeping I swaddled her and put her down. She's usually pretty good about it, sometimes she just has to be held though.

Jessie333 · January 2015

danisgossipgirl said:
We nurse to sleep until several months older. No regrets.

Ditto. Once he is asleep, I swaddle him and lay him down.

AlwaysAforeigner · January 2015

Wow, lucky you, @misskilljoy and @Serunatu. It seems like you have very mellow babies. Mine will just start screaming if she's tired and not asleep by then. There is no way of just cuddling with her until she falls asleep.

@danisgossipgirl, how do you wean them off that later on?

nbateman5 · January 2015

She might be overtired, that's why mine cries when its time for her to sleep. My LO wants to fight it so bad, I don't get it lol. She will cry for a little after she's been swaddled and rocking, but I'll shush her and pat her butt/back and she usually stops pretty fast. Keeping her asleep after she's been put down is the challenge though. I tried keeping my hand under her head for a minute but that doesn't work.

AlwaysAforeigner · January 2015

nbateman5 said:

She might be overtired, that's why mine cries when its time for her to sleep. My LO wants to fight it so bad, I don't get it lol. She will cry for a little after she's been swaddled and rocking, but I'll shush her and pat her butt/back and she usually stops pretty fast. Keeping her asleep after she's been put down is the challenge though. I tried keeping my hand under her head for a minute but that doesn't work.

She's probably not overtired when we start the process, because we are trying to follow her cues, but by the end of it she probably is, but I dont know how to prevent it. Yeah, keeping her asleep is a problem at our house as well. It is very frustrating to start all over again.

AlwaysAforeigner · January 2015

@danisgossipgirl, nursing to sleep makes sense to me too, but the problem is I'm the only one who can do it, so it limits our options in terms of who can put her to sleep. I have to go back to work in April and want her to be ready for that by then.

soulcupcake · January 2015

danisgossipgirl said:

We nurse to sleep until several months older. No regrets.

This. I've only ever nursed and/or rocked to sleep, and for as long as they needed it. There was never a "weaning" period. It wasn't a habit in need of being broken. It is physiologically and developmentally appropriate and sound. My dd1 and ds2 often fell asleep without being nursed after 6 or so months. It's very much child-led.

It's not like by doing it for a period of times means you'll end up nursing and bed sharing with a middle schooler. They all eventually "wean" themselves from whatever soothes/comforts them on their own time.

AlwaysAforeigner · January 2015

metaphysique said:

danisgossipgirl said:

We nurse to sleep until several months older. No regrets.

This. I've only ever nursed and/or rocked to sleep, and for as long as they needed it. There was never a "weaning" period. It wasn't a habit in need of being broken. It is physiologically and developmentally appropriate and sound. My dd1 and ds2 often fell asleep without being nursed after 6 or so months. It's very much child-led.

It's not like by doing it for a period of times means you'll end up nursing and bed sharing with a middle schooler. They all eventually "wean" themselves from whatever soothes/comforts them on their own time.

@metaphysique - how do you deal with instances when someone else is putting LO down? I don't mind nursing her to sleep until she's 18 months, but I'm not always there to do it.

soulcupcake · January 2015

AlwaysAforeigner said:

metaphysique said:

danisgossipgirl said:

We nurse to sleep until several months older. No regrets.

This. I've only ever nursed and/or rocked to sleep, and for as long as they needed it. There was never a "weaning" period. It wasn't a habit in need of being broken. It is physiologically and developmentally appropriate and sound. My dd1 and ds2 often fell asleep without being nursed after 6 or so months. It's very much child-led.

It's not like by doing it for a period of times means you'll end up nursing and bed sharing with a middle schooler. They all eventually "wean" themselves from whatever soothes/comforts them on their own time.

@metaphysique - how do you deal with instances when someone else is putting LO down? I don't mind nursing her to sleep until she's 18 months, but I'm not always there to do it.

That's never really been an issue for me as a SAHM. My son was the best sleeper of the bunch, and the few times I left him with my ex-husband, when he was 6+ months, he often fell asleep on his own. Before that if my mom watched the kids he fell asleep while being rocked or held or shortly after a feeding. But he was the only one where anyone else might have been in the position to get him to sleep. My girls never stayed with where this would be a situation. Even now when I need to run errands I'm only out for 30-60 min, and I nurse her just before leaving and she's asleep. She's either still asleep when I return or just waking.

AlwaysAforeigner · January 2015

danisgossipgirl said:

I definitely hear that, I hard to work evenings for a time when my 2nd was small. But you'll have a whole new baby a few months from now, whatever work you do now in trying to get baby to do things on your terms, you're probably going to have to try something new in April anyway because you'll be hitting the 4 month wakeful and maybe teething! Knock on wood but that's why I end up just playing it by ear ear, doing what works for now, and reevaluating as necessary. Personally, struggling at every bedtime would not be worth it for me right now, I'd end up dreading bedtime and resenting baby for it since it'd be interfering with the little downtime my husband and I get together.

you're probably right. I worked so hard with DD1 to help her fall asleep on her own and she did pretty well, until she learned how to stand up at 7months and her ability to fall asleep on her own, went out the window.

AlwaysAforeigner · January 2015

misskilljoy said:

@AlwaysAforeigner - I wouldn't have called her mellow at all because she has a lot of attitude when she's awake, but I honestly had no idea that it wasn't normal/common for her to just... go to sleep on her own when she's tired (as a newborn). Hope you find something that works for you to get LO down!

Well, mellow for falling asleep, that is

Enjoy it!

catyskye11 · January 2015

Try the 5 S's (Happiest Baby on the Block) I was laughing at the DVD, thinking it was totally insane, but now I can get her to sleep in 5 minutes flat and she sleeps for at least 4/5 hours at a time. Before, I would spend HOURS trying to get her to sleep and she would wake up every hour. Maddening. I'm totally sold.

AlwaysAforeigner · January 2015

catyskye11 said:

Try the 5 S's (Happiest Baby on the Block) I was laughing at the DVD, thinking it was totally insane, but now I can get her to sleep in 5 minutes flat and she sleeps for at least 4/5 hours at a time. Before, I would spend HOURS trying to get her to sleep and she would wake up every hour. Maddening. I'm totally sold.

@catskye11 - yes, I am familiar with the 5Ss and most of those things worked the first few times for her (especially the white noise), but she somehow go used to it and now doesn't respond to it anymore. I think the thing she needs the most is the "sucking" part and she does fall asleep while nursing, but will not take a substitute (a paci).

Serunatu · January 2015

@AlwaysAforeigner‌, she has made it pretty easy for me. Like @misskilljoy, I didn't realize that it wasn't normal for her to just go to sleep so easily as a newborn. Though there are still nights or days she doesn't make it so easy, I'm extra thankful now.

Beevol · January 2015

Another nurse and cuddle to sleep-er here! With my first, we did it until around 10 weeks which was when she had a solid schedule and her cues were less random.

By the time I went back to work full time (12weeks) she was solid for someone else to put her down for naps. While I'm on maternity leave, DH has morning duty with our toddler and I have night duty with our infant and that works for us since I can sleep in and nap during the day.

nbateman5 · January 2015

So yesterday I attempted to put LO, 4 weeks, to sleep but of course she woke up as soon as I put her down and she was wide eyed. I went out to the living room to pump and decided to just see what she'd do awake in her crib. After about 5 min she started to cry which then escalated to screaming. I let her cry for about 5-8 minutes and then magically she drifted off to sleep for the next 3 or 4 hours. She did it agin this afternoon when I put her down for a nap after she had a clean diaper, fed, rocked for half hour, swaddled. I know that typically cry it out means letting baby cry for hours, but is what I did as horrible as it makes me feel? She just fights sleep so bad, I don't get it!!

calvinfoster · January 2015

For us, "cry it out" didn't ever mean leave baby to cry for long periods of time - we followed a dr Ferber plan with boys 1 and 2, (we actually worked directly with dr Ferber himself in 2008 at the children's sleep clinic before he retired; hooo, let me tell you, my oldest had ISSUES) and the max minutes of crying without reassurance for either boy was never more than 10. Some cry-it-out methods might involve extended periods of crying but ours did not. All tgat said, I don't think 5-8 minutes of crying is going to psychologically damage a baby, but I personally don't feel comfy with extended crying w/o reassurance in a newborn. But, my newborns have been able to be nursed to sleep, generally, and if they couldn't, I don't know what I'd do.

I've been through the sleep trenches - you don't end up in the office of dr Ferber himself until you're about ready to step in front of a train and haven't slept in 2 years - and I've learned that infant sleep is hugely variable. Some babies just drift off on their own. Some would seemingly scream their heads off 21 hours a day punctuated by 5 minute cat naps no matter what you do. At the end of the day, you have to pick a method that gets you and your baby some sleep, and if she needs to fuss it out for a few minutes and nothing else works, I for one, will not judge.

HorseFeathers3 · January 2015

danisgossipgirl said:
We nurse to sleep until several months older. No regrets.

Another for nursing to sleep here.

nesenotes · January 2015

For now I rock or bounce or do whatever the hell makes her stop crying long enough for her to fall asleep. Sometimes it takes minutes, sometimes hours. If it's been hours I swaddle tight, do the gripe water, and shove my pinky in her mouth (she spits out the paci). Once I know she's been asleep long enough I set her down by continuing to put pressure on her chest with my hand or body until her back hits the crib. Then I walk away.

In a few weeks I'll start laying her down awake but drowsy and help her self soothe. I'm going to cross all my fingers and toes she gets it quickly like DD1 did.

NELSMD · January 2015

marsavary said:
Full belly, cuddle and don't move him to his swing until he is fully asleep. Sometimes this takes longer and more attempts then we would like. Sometimes DH lays with him for a while or I rock him in his room.

General rule with him - he needs to be fully asleep before being moved anywhere.

This. Must be fully out before we attempt to put him down. He falls asleep in our arms.

MariahV · January 2015

Full belly "big" feeding, then diaper change, then a couple of minutes on the boob until he hopefully passes out. Then we hold him for a little bit to make sure he is really out, then put him in the rock and play. The timing of all this varies according to his last nap, but I aim to start the process around 9, sleeping by 10. Then a feeding around 1-2, and another at 4-6, then a couple more hours of sleep. (All of this in a perfect world, it doesn't always happen.) We are lucky LO is a good sleeper.

Meether · January 2015

We just wait for sleep cues like yawning or dozing off, usually an hour after she's up. Then we take her to her dark room, swaddle and turn on the noise machine. We lay her down awake and she's usually out within a minute or two. If she stays up longer than an hour and a half, she gets overtired and takes a little longer to fall asleep. For us, the dark really helps, as she sleep 8pm to 6am unswaddled, so I really think not having anything to stimulate her is key for us.

How do you put your baby to bed?

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