AW: Upset with DH (Sorry ...Long) Baby and children mentioned

wanderlust508 · January 2015

DH and I had a long talk about this ....but I'm having a hard time letting go of my feelings of anger and resentment. I know he loves me and didn't mean to hurt me. But somehow that doesn't really matter to my (maybe somewhat irrational) IF brain.

We have quite a few trips coming up in the next few months (which is exciting). Going to Austin during MLK weekend for a reunion with DH's cousins. Vegas for Superbowl weekend with DH's college BFF. And Maui for president's day/Valentine's day weekend with DH. I was the most excited about this last one. I've been to Maui with DH once before and loved it. Really excited about going back. After a tough year in 2014 I liked the idea of taking a romantic trip with DH and I. I've been telling DH that my motivation for trying to get in better shape (other than improving my health) is to look good in my swimsuit in Maui.

Earlier today after returning from brunch at a friend's place, DH comes downstairs and said "Woo hoo!! Double date in Maui with K & R!!" K is DH's good friend from college and R is his wife. They have a 2 month old daughter. DH excitedly told me that K accepted his invitation for him and R to join us in Maui. I was instantly annoyed. DH noticed and asked if I was upset. He said because they would be moving to Boston soon for her job, this would be the perfect opportunity to hang out with them before he only gets to see K "once every 2-3 years". He said "The more the merrier, right?" I asked if they'd be bringing the baby. He said of course they would be. As you can imagine, the conversation took a very bad turn after this.

I burst into tears and told him I didn't want to spend time with a baby during my vacation with him. That I felt very blindsided by this. He just seemed so confused and at such a loss as to what he did wrong. He insists that when we saw them last month in LA (where they now live) and he told them that they should join us in Maui that I was part of the conversation. And that I agreed they should come. I have no recollection of this and don't think it ever happened. He said "More than half our friends have kids! So what .... are we supposed to just avoid all social plans where kids will be? And just isolate ourselves?!" He continued to defend himself. He said I should understand where he was coming from .... that one of his closest friends would be moving across the country soon and he just wanted to spend some time with him before then. I explained that I was capable of sucking it up most of the time and spending time with our friends and their kids when the occasion called for it. But this (him inviting them on OUR vacation) I wasn't expecting. Once he saw how bothered I was he softened and said we didn't have to hang out with them the whole trip. "Just a couple nights." Umm ....we're there for 3 nights!! And (I told him) if I now stood in the way of him spending time with his friend on (what would now be) a couples trip, I would feel like a complete bitch. It's just become this no win situation.

This did lead us into a bigger conversation about how we feel. DH feels I don't communicate in terms of my IF related feelings. How was he to know that this would bother me? This frustrated me because I have cried in his arms several times in the last few months after spending a lot of time around children. And expressed my feelings pretty clearly in those moments ... at least I thought I did. So now it's crazy to me that DH seems completely baffled by how distraught I am over this! He was very apologetic and said that he wanted to get better at addressing my IF related feelings. But at the same time he kept saying very UN-helpful things like "This whole thing is just a process that we need to get through. We can't expect it to just happen overnight." And reminding me of all the advantages of NOT having kids right now (vacations, more time to ourselves, etc). I told him I was so tired of trying to convince myself of all those "advantages". I've traveled plenty and had more than enough time to myself. I'm almost 35 and I've been TTC for 2 years. I want my baby.

I think we made some progress but we have a long way to go. It's just frustrating that we're at this point and DH doesn't get how/why being around children can be upsetting to me. No, it's not because I hate children. I actually love them and that's why it hurts to be around them. I think he kinda gets it ....but not completely because he doesn't feel the pain. His attitude is more "Let's appreciate what we do have and not dwell on what we don't." Which I do generally agree with. But it's so hard for DH to understand how IF makes my feelings more complicated than that.

DH really wants to understand me better which I appreciate. I ordered him that book "What to expect when she's not expecting." I hope it will be helpful. But in the meantime I'm having a hard time letting go of my feelings of resentment towards DH for inviting the couple and their baby to join us in Maui. I feel like it's completely deflated my excited feelings about the vacation.

Ugh. Thanks for listening ladies.

Edited to include some pertinent details and add baby warning

TTCBabyJ · January 2015

I'm so sorry you are going thru this tough time. It really sounds like he was more concerned with spending time with his friend and not necessarily purposefully trying to be inconsiderate. I would definitely be livid as well. Your feelings are definitely justified.

It seems like this has really opened the door for you guys to have a real conversation about how IF is affecting your life. Great idea ordering the book. ((Hugs))

wanderlust508 · January 2015

@TTCBabyJ - Thank you for the hugs and support

I agree that it's definitely opened the door for us to have better communication around IF. I hope things start to improve soon! In the meantime time, I gave DH the cold shoulder when he tried to be affectionate before bed (not proud of that). And after both of us tossed and turned for over an hour, he got up to go sleep in the guest bedroom. So of course now I can't sleep .... thinking about how he won't sleep well tonight because I'm holding a grudge.

BunnyBerry · January 2015

Oh, I am so, so sorry.

It sounds like the being around kids part is just making him feel justified, since he personally doesn't feel the way you do.

Perhaps an angle that he will be able to see and understand better is that he invited friends to join your romantic weekend in Hawaii without consulting you about it. I would be upset if DH invited friends to play video games in the evening without letting me know, and I would freak out if he invited people for dinner without asking me.

Clearly they can't be uninvited now...since it's such a short trip, could you request that YH fix this as much as possible (even if he thought you agreed to it, since you guys are partners perhaps you can get him on board with the idea of fixing something that is so disappointing for you). Perhaps book rooms in different wings or floors of the hotel, and plan specific meals/time or two that the 5 of you will hang out, maybe a time or two for YH and his buddy while you get some solo time, and then guarantee that the rest of the weekend is for you two as a couple only.

And perhaps get him to start working on planning the next "romantic getaway" (and calling it that, Lol) so you can get excited about that?

ETA: Okay, maybe this is crazy, but in your shoes I would consider myself justified...are you close enough to his wife to call her privately and gently, simply explain what happened? Would that get back to YH? Do they know you're going through IF treatments? Something like, "Our IF treatments have been so hard, and something that has really been helping me keep up hope is looking forward to our romantic getaway weekend in Maui. I think I was saying how much you guys should go to Maui too sometime, but MH took that as me wanting to change it to a couples' weekend. He doesn't understand it, but as a woman I know you will - I really needed a break from thinking about infertility, and to reconnect with him. I love seeing you guys so happy with your beautiful infant - it gives me so much hope - but it would be hard on our special weekend."

mshandlebar · January 2015

That is a really crummy situation, and I am sorry you have to deal with this. I agree with Bunny, besides the whole kid issue, the fact that he invited friends on your romantic get away would really piss me off. I also think you are completely justified to be upset about having a baby around. I know exactly what you mean about loving children and that is why it hurts so bad. There is nothing wrong with feeling the way that you do. You are not alone.

On the bright side, it seems like it opened up a good conversation for you and YH. Me and Mr. Handlebar have been there many times, and he is just recently starting to get it. We don't have an issue so much around being with kids because most of our friends don't have them, but he sometimes doesn't quite get why I am sad or angry. I really hope the book helps. Maybe you should let him know that he needs to do something, like plan a romantic date night, to show that he understands and cares? I am sorry and send you the biggest of hugs

typo31 · January 2015

Holy crap. IF or not, baby tagalong or not, if my husband invited other people on a trip with us without consulting me, I'd FREAK.

I'm so sorry that your plans have been soured. I hope that you can still find a way to carve out private time for some parts of the trip you had been imagining!

bumpuser5823822 · January 2015

Sorry! This sounds like a truly sucky situation.

I would honestly (and maybe this makes me a Biotch) but I would have DH cancel. He could just call his buddy and say hey I know I invited you along but turns out this was supposed to be a romantic Valentines Day trip and I kind of missed the memo. My wife is really heartbroken. Can we plan another weekend together some time before you move?

I would think man to man they could understand that?

Remylove1011 · January 2015

I can't give any better advice than @BunnyBerry cause she knows all the things!

I will say that I don't think you overreacted as I would totally flip if MH invited people on our romantic weekend. {{HUGS}}

LindseyM2012 · January 2015

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time with this. If you really weren't in the conversation about his friend and wife coming on vacation, I certainly understand why your feeling this way! @BunnyBerry had a great idea about planning out the trip where there are scheduled times you have to spend with them. At the end of the day, this is vacation and it is completely reasonable to say you want a lot of it to be just you and your husband alone. The other couple may want just that too...you never know. And the baby is going to still be taking lots of naps so they will work around that schedule. If you plan a couple meals and an activity together, that's plenty of bro time for the guys in a short weekend, and a very good compromise IMO.

As for your conversation with your husband, I can understand how you don't feel that he gets where you're coming from. I think it speaks to a big difference between men and women and I can certainly relate to you here! (I'm speaking in generalities here now) Women often seek to be validated (read: understood) and men often seek to fix. This is a situation he can't fix for you so he is trying to reframe it for you. If that isn't helpful, you can help him help you by saying, "I don't need you to say anything right now. I just need someone to listen and hug me. I appreciate you trying to reframe this, but that is really not helpful right now." If the compromise Bunny suggested sounds good, talk to him about it and ask him to really stick to it. No impromptu double dates.

I really hope this whole thing doesn't ruin your trip! Surely you and your husband can find a way to make it all work and find a way to support each other better. HUGS!!

deelopi9 · January 2015

Hugs, you have every right to feel blindsided by this. I can totally picture him getting excited and looking at the scenario from a win-win perspective. However, probably because you have trips with other groups of friends coming up he didn't see an issue with it. This happens to DH and I on a trip and also for smaller things like going out to dinner. I'm excited to spend some alone time with him and he invites his parents to come out. I try to remember that he is not a mind-reader and if I'm really excited over our plans to tell him bluntly and repeat it. Babe, I love the fact it's just you and I alone.

I like the idea of your DH and his friend having some alone time, maybe you can get a massage (if you like them) while they are hanging out.

theholmanherd · January 2015

I haven't read the responses, so I'm just going to throw this out there. I'm sorry but I would be upset regardless of the baby. That's supposed to be a romantic getaway and he's more interested in friend time than romantic time with you? No way I would be okay with that. I would tell him you need to carve out some alone time to deal with the baby, but you also need to carve out some couple time for one of the days or at least half a day and dinner. And hold him to it by telling the other couple when you guys are planning activities "we should do xyz on Friday, because DH and I will be out on our own for the afternoon and evening half of Saturday" or however you think it should be worded. What's done is done; they're coming. BUT, you can still turn most of the trip around. Good luck.

dancerspose · January 2015

First of all, I am so sorry you're dealing with this, and no you most definitely did not overreact.

I agree with posters who've said they'd be upset regardless of the situation with the baby. You guys planned a romantic trip - it's strange to assume it's ok to invite friends to come along. Even if you guys had one casual conversation about it while all hanging out, which I'm not saying happened (DH imagine conversations between us all the time) it still would have been worthy of a more private, indepth conversation between just the two of you before acting. I think @w+c3 had a pretty good suggestion of how to gracefull get out of it if you want to push it that far.

I'm sorry again, (HUGS)!

SND1231 · January 2015

So sorry. Sometimes when we think we are sharing how we feel with how we are acting it doesn't really register to our spouses. I know with my DH I have to be very point blank about what I am thinking and feeling or else it doesn't really register to him. I am sure that DH didn't do it to purposely hurt you. You need to try to continue telling him how you are feeling and give yourself some time to get over it and give him time to understand. Huge to you!!

wanderlust508 · January 2015

Thank you ladies for all your thoughtful responses. This is one of many moments when I feel so grateful for having such wonderful 3T friends.

@BunnyBerry - Thank you! As always you bring a very rational yet sympathetic point of view that I appreciate so much. There is a part of me that was annoyed that he invited the couple along (baby or not) but somehow the baby has been what's bothered me the most about this situation. Maybe my feelings towards the baby's presence just totaly overshadowed my annoyance over him inviting the couple along - but I think I'd have an easier time getting over it if it was JUST the couple. But then again if they were coming without their baby (hard to imagine when she'll be 4 months old by that time) then much of the conversation would probably revolve around their baby and/or how much their lives have changed since baby. Which would have upset me as well! I don't really feel comfortable talking to R (the wife) one-on-one to get her to understand the situation. In the end I feel like, what's done is done and I am going to focus on carving out time during the vacation that doesn't center around being with K&R and their baby.

@laurensc927 - Thank you for the creepy internet hugs!! Always appreciated

@mshandlebar - Thank you for sharing how you can relate to my feelings about loving kids but just finding it painful to be around them. Sometimes I feel like DH assumes I just get annoyed by kids or something (when I express not wanting to be around them). It's encouraging to know that you and Mr Handlebar are starting to improve your communication over time. Hopefully I get there soon with Mr East bay!

@kensie5226 - Thank you for the internet hugs!! You and many of the other 3T ladies gave feedback that you'd be upset regardless of the baby. MH is the type of guy who wants to include/invite people .....so if the baby was taken out of the picture I would have been annoyed for sure but not as upset as I am now. I think also, I'd assume in that situation that the other couple also wants a lot of alone time too. But in this case (at least the way I'm imagining it) I feel like the couple will want to spend a lot of time with us when the baby's schedule allows for it (because like many of my friends with kids - my assumption would be that "adult time" with other friends would be what they're craving).

@Remylove1011, @typo31 and @w+c3 - Thank you. Part of me definitely feels slighted that MH decided to include the other couple on our romantic weekend without really discussing it with me. I know he's not a bad guy ...in that situation (when Maui came up in our conversation with them) it was just one of those things that MH has a tendency to say "Why don't you join us?" After seeing how distraught I've been, he said that he never would have mentioned Maui to them if he thought they'd REALLY end up coming. But part of me thinks he's just saying that in hindsight (knowing how I feel now).

@LindseyM2012 - Thank you! We will definitely have to come up with some compromise so that I don't end up feeling even more resentful than I do now. You're right, the couple may end up having very little time to spend with us for all I know. But it's hard not to imagine spending ALL our free time with them and being expected to smile and laugh at the baby the whole time ....putting on an all too familiar act that IF doesn't affect me and I'm only completely charmed by the baby. You are so right about men wanting to fix and women wanting to be validated (that's true in my case at least! DH always wants to fix. Last night he kept asking "How can I make it better. Just tell me." Which only infuriated me more, LOL

@deelopi9 - I like how you spell out so clearly for DH that you love spending time ALONE with him. I need to get better at that. And you're right, when he initially got excited and told me, he assumed that I would share his excitement. Because K&R are a really fun couple to hang out with. I definitely like them. But I think he just didn't see the trip the way I did ....as a romantic getaway. He just thought 'Well we're going and if they have the time, why not have them join us?'

@BlueFairy5 - Thank you! That sounds so much like a typical convo between DH and I. And it's so infuriating. And you hit the nail on the head about how I feel - the fact that 2 out of 3 of the trips revolve around his friends or family. And now he's taking (what I thought was supposed to be) time for just us and making it into a group thing. I think the more I read the responses from you ladies, the more it makes me sad that DH didn't seem to value "romantic vacation/alone time" with me as much as I did. Up until now it was really more about the baby ...but that's another side of it which I'm becoming more aware of and just really saddened by. We'll get through this but right now it just makes me feel so sad and alone.

@lemonliz - DH actually suggested last night that maybe we should have a check-in a few times a week to see how I'm feeling with all things IF related. And that might be a good idea to get me in the habit of expressing myself. I think he is similar to YH in that he feels the need to always focus on the positive side of things. BTW every time I see your SN, I miss 30 Rock so much ....Liz Lemon was the best!

@theholmanherd - You're right, I think it will be really important that we carve out our schedule and decide when we'll be hanging out with them. Thank you!

@shafwilson - I agree, even with the one casual conversation, I am disappointed that he didn't feel like it warranted more of a discussion and just assumed that I'd be happy if they joined us. As far as imagined conversations, DH even goes as far as to say that the couple joining us in Maui came up several times in conversation and that I was totally cool with it. Ummm ...no!

@Buttmonkey34 - YH sounds similar to mine - he also has "that friend" that he often invites to join us for dinner (or on a trip to Vegas) and he's there when I sometimes wish it was just DH and I. I'm glad that the friend didn't end up joining you on your Vegas trip ....not what you would have needed in that moment!

@rainbowbridge14 - You sound a lot like me in terms of wanting to please people and feeling guilted into spending time with children even when it hurts you. I could totally see myself playing with the baby, carrying her around, helping K's wife with her ...and then later holding a grudge against DH. I like what you said about not feeling like we're together in terms of emotional investment in this. I definitely feel like I'm more "in it" than DH is. I'm definitely going to try to make it a more regular habit to talk with DH about how I'm feeling.

@SND1231 - Thank you, I think that's something I need to try not to lose sight of - that DH does love me and didn't mean to hurt me. It's easy to forget that and let my emotions get so heated. This will take me some time to get over but we'll get through it. And just like you, I need to be more point blank about how I'm feeling because otherwise it seems DH doesn't just doesn't get it!

wanderlust508 · January 2015

hrushka said:
Question: have the friends booked their trip yet, or just agreed to it? If not, could YH call his friend and explain that he invited them w/o asking you, and didn't realize it was supposed to be a romantic trip for the two of you to reconnect. I know that would be a little awkward, but it might be worth it.

Thank you @hrushka! By the time MH told me yesterday that K & R were in for the trip, they had already booked their trip. On the plus side, they are not staying in our hotel. But they will be staying in a hotel very close to us. If they hadn't booked yet, I'd definitely be more inclined to tell MH that we needed to call them and back out.

dominicandreamer · January 2015

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I can imagine how upsetting this would be considering vacation plans are one of the few things we can enjoy without op's kids. :::hugs:::

If yh is anything like mh I can totally relate to the constant reminders that it's not always greener on the other side. What makes that so frustrating though is when you know what sacrifices you'd be making to be on the other side and are not only ready but willing to make them. People, especially your partner, don't always need to remind of that.

You are completely justified on your feelings for this and hopefully something else can be arranged for yh to see his friend without completely crashing your vacation.

P.s. It's not considered a double date when one couple is bringing a baby along.

southernyankeegirl · January 2015

**** Grad Warning ****

That sucks. A lot. I'd be pissed, and as the wife, if my husband was like, "Guess what?! We are going on vacation with my friends!" I would want to call and check and make triple sure that we weren't going to intrude because men sometimes suck at making plans and thinking this shit through.

Personally, I would explain to your husband that baby or no, you need this vacation for some reconnection as a couple after all this IF nonsense. I ended up inviting friends on our IF-prompted vacation and while we had fun, I could have used a more romantic and sex-focused trip to be honest. I would try to see if your husband can call and change plans, maybe he can go away another weekend on a guys only thing to spend some quality time with this friend before he moves. But it shouldn't come at the expense of your quality time as a couple!

Big hugs! Yours isn't the first husband to make a stupid decision like this, probably with the best of intentions. Just work to figure out how to explain why it stings. When my DH isn't understanding my point, I will write him a letter - it helps me flesh out my perspective a bit more clearly, and doesn't give him the change to interrupt and get defensive.

BandM14 · January 2015

PPs have given you some truly great support and advice. I don't have anything else to add other than to reiterate that your feelings are completely and totally valid! And that maybe this is a good opportunity for you and YH to continue to discuss how to handle situations like these. Honestly, if it were me, I would pretty much be demanding that he cancel the invitation because I wouldn't have it in me to avoid them if they did come along for the trip, and I would know that hanging out with them and their baby for 3 days would be borderline miserable. If necessary, I would do what @BunnyBerry said and talk to the friend or his wife and just be really honest but also nice and respectful, so that hopefully their feelings aren't hurt over it.

I'm so sorry that this is happening, and I hope you and YH are able to come up with a reasonable solution! Sending you lots of hugs.

meredithcarole · January 2015

I'm sorry that happened. It was thoughtless and inconsiderate of YH to invite another couple and a baby on your romantic getaway. I absolutely agree that he now "owes" you an actual romantic retreat. Maybe something close to home like wine country (at least there is a less likely chance of kids being at a winery) if you can't do another big trip. Otherwise I'd push for Vancouver or Chicago or something

I hope that you are able to carve out some alone time on the trip. I, too, would have been hesitant to call R and say please don't come and since they've already booked you are a bit stuck. I am glad that they are at a different hotel, however. That's a minor consolation.

(((Hugs)))

BunnyBerry · January 2015

@dominicandreamersaid:

... P.s. It's not considered a double date when one couple is bringing a baby along.

Love this!

Maybe if you asked YH to read this thread, he would think of a great way to handle/fix it that would surprise you?

wanderlust508 · January 2015

BunnyBerry said:

@dominicandreamersaid:

... P.s. It's not considered a double date when one couple is bringing a baby along.

Love this!

Maybe if you asked YH to read this thread, he would think of a great way to handle/fix it that would surprise you?

@dominicandreamer - I too love this!

@BunnyBerry - I thought about that actually. There are a couple reasons I hesitate to do that. 1) is because I think of this board as "my personal space" and maybe sometimes I'd prefer he doesn't come on here to see everything I post about (LOL). and also 2) He sometimes doesn't get my need to share so much with this community. I talk about you guys with him all the time but with things like this he gets a bit frustrated and says things like "Why do you need to share with an online community? Why can't you just talk to me?" So I guess I wonder if showing him what I've posted here word for word is really the best policy (for me). IDK. You're making me consider it now though!

@meredithcarole - We go to wine country all the time ....it's an hour away from us which is nice! I agree that it is a great almost guaranteed no kid zone. We are long overdue for a trip there for sure.

@iPutKetchupOnKetchup - I LOVE your response (as always) and your "no boobs policy". I think I'll institute that for the rest of the week until I move past this seething anger phase with him

Thanks for confirming as all the ladies have that I am NOT crazy for being so upset with Mr EBB.

@BandM14 - Thanks! I think I will have to set the ground rules with him ahead of time. We're stuck now, there's no backing out. But I'll have to maybe tell him to spend guy time with his friend while I go to the beach and lay out with a drink or go to the spa to get a massage. This will mean more time that he and I end up spending apart (which I know he will not be completely happy with) - but it'll be better for my sanity.

@southernyankeegirl - So happy to hear from you! Thanks for stopping by and offering me your perspective

Even though you beat IF, it's really refreshing and touching that you still remember so clearly what it feels like to be on this side of it. Yes I know MH isn't the 1st to do something stupid like this with the best of intentions. I will have to just keep reiterating the point with him until he gets it. As for Maui, there's no avoiding that this couple will be there whether I like it or not. But I will have to just set some limits on how much time I'm willing to spend with the couple and their baby.

wanderlust508 · January 2015

@firstarabesque‌ - Thanks friend

I would have felt so lost in this situation without the wonderful advice from you 3T ladies. Seriously, reading your responses has helped my perspective of the situation a lot.

Full disclosure: I think IF-related depression and maybe some anxiety is causing me to wallow in these feelings more than I should today. DH's actions definitely were a trigger but I think my response to it is a bit unhealthy. I know I really should seek therapy and maybe then I'll cope better with all this. I've been in bed most of the day eating out of a bag of chips and watching Netflix on my day off. No desire to do anything else healthy or productive. And @laurensc927 (my thoughtful elf) included a mini wine bottle in my package which I stashed in my nightstand ....thanks Lauren! Didn't even have to leave my room and have everything I need.

BunnyBerry · January 2015

I get that, DH used to be quite sensitive about me participating in an online community. He's pretty used to it now but once in a while something about it rubs him the wrong way.

dominicandreamer · January 2015

meredithcarole said:
Maybe something close to home like wine country (at least there is a less likely chance of kids being at a winery)

(((Hugs)))

I so wish this were the case in CA. No lie, every winery AND brewery we've been to in the last six months had had kids. Since when is it appropriate to bring them to a place like that?

Okay I'll step off my soapbox.

wanderlust508 · January 2015

@dominicandreamer - Where in CA do you live? I'm an hour from Napa. Several of the smaller wineries I've been to usually don't have kids anywhere in sight. Of course it can be hit or miss and the larger wineries and markets are more likely to have little ones running around.

dominicandreamer · January 2015

@EastBayBride508, I'm from southern California so our wineries are less refined. They're scattered throughout Temecula and our breweries are mostly in San Diego but are popping up all over the place. We go quite often to brew hop and have noticed there's a surge of parents bringing their infants and toddlers. I wish they'd keep them at home but there doesn't seem to be a rule against it at any of them.

wanderlust508 · January 2015

OK ...MH just texted me "Love you baby. Everything will work out in the end. Watch you'll be preggo by the end of the year and then you'll realize you did all this worrying for nothing!" ....He meant well but is it terrible that it made me want to smack him?!

Come on Amazon - waiting on that book (What to expect when she's not ...)

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