TTC After a Loss

Devastated to be back (others' pregnancies mentioned peripherally)

Not that I don't think you ladies are wonderful, but I was hoping I wouldn't be back here.

We were TTA after two CPs in a row when I ovulated ten days early, before we had started taking precautions for that cycle. That had never happened before (I had never actually ovulated three cycles in a row before!) so we were surprised. Unfortunately, right from the get-go, my betas were low and I was experiencing bleeding and spotting almost constantly. With my known low progesterone, I hoped progesterone supplementation would help and I finally managed to be prescribed some.

Long story short, the pregnancy was ectopic and I was given the choice of MTX or surgical management. I opted for the MTX and received it today. Through various first trimester losses, I have now lost eight babies. The low progesterone is likely responsible for all but this one, as the physician who prescribed the progesterone ran some labs which didn't show any abnormalities. At least I have some answers, though this one is down to bad luck.

Until my hCG is back to non-pregnant levels, I actually have an OB treating me (due to shortage, I wasn't able to see one prior to pregnancy despite my history) so I am going to try to ensure I do as much as possible to try to ensure a healthy pregnancy next time. I have been advised that we are benched for three months following the MTX.

Of course, not 12 hours after I found out about my ectopic, my best friend tried to cheer me up by sending me a picture of her BFP and I just sobbed into my pillow. My sister is due any day now and I just... can't. I can't deal with it all as I lay here, my body wracked with cramps so strong I can't sleep, can barely move. I need a safe space where people understand, and I hate that anyone else knows what this feels like, but at least there is this place where I don't have to describe how much this sucks.

~ K.

PCOS, EDS III, low progesterone. Six early losses (5-8 weeks,) 1 twin loss. Surprise natural BFP 2014-12-17
Ectopic dx and MTX 2015-01-02.

Re: Devastated to be back (others' pregnancies mentioned peripherally)

  • Oh hun....I'm so sorry you found yourself back here. :( **huge hugs**
    We met in middle school. We got married 15 years later in a February blizzard of 2010. 
    TTC since February 2010
    Diagnosed with Lyme Disease June 2010 Diagnosed with PCOS March 2011 Diagnosed with Celiac Disease January 2013
    BFP #1: August 25th 2013 EDD May 4th 2014 SCH MC October 3rd 2013
    BFP #2: February 14th 2014 EDD October 25th 2014 CP February 17th 2014

    Naked push-up foreplay pioneer
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  • I am so sorry to hear about your losses. Your reaction to your friend and sister's pregnancies is totally normal. Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. I'll be thinking of you! ((hugs))

    Me: 28 MH: 28  Married10/27/2012

    TTC Baby #1

    BFP: 9/2014 EDD: 6/9/2015 MC: 10/13/2014



  • So sorry for your loss and that you find yourself back here.  ((HUGS))



    imageimageimage
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    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14

    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


  • I'm so sorry for your losses and that you are back :( ((Hugs))

    DD 15.07.2012

    BFP #2 01.18.2014, MMC 04.10.2014 15w5d

    BFP #3 07.18.2014, MC 07.31.2014 5w6d

    DX: RPL due to submucosal uterine fibroid. Hysteroscopy 12/16. All clear!

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  • I am so sorry. (Hugs)

    Me: 31 DH: 36
    Dated Since ‘02, Married in ‘06
    BFP#1 05/16/06, EDD01/16/07, MC 06/12/06 at 8 weeks
    BFP #2 08/14/14, EDD 04/22/15, MC 09/17/14 at 9 weeks

    image 

     My Chart

  • So sorry that you're back here (((hugs)))

    4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
    All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal

    5 IUIs = BFN

    All AL are welcome
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

  • I am so so sorry for your loss, creepy Internet (((hugs))) to you! Be kind to yourself and let yourself feel, as you know this takes time.
    **Losses Mentioned**
    Me 41, DH 38 
    TTC #1 since 9/2014 AMH 3.68, FSH 6.6
    IUI#1 12-02-2015 Letrozol, Gonal-F, Pregnyl, Acupuncture, BFP 12-17-2015 beta 1=72, beta 2=64, beta 3=10 MC 12-20-14 
    IUI#2 01-08-2015 Letrozol, Gonal-F, Pregnyl, Acupuncture, BFP 01-23-2015 beta 1=151, beta 2=450, beta 3=6524, beta 4= 29380 u/s at 7w5d baby with heartbeat measuring 6w2d. u/s 2-24 gestational sac only, beta 59400 MC 2-24-15 @ 8w6d D&C 2-27-15. Pathology results 47XX +20

    Diagnosis AMA and compound heterozygous MTHFR
  • Oh no, I am so sorry you find yourself back here >:D<

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                ***TTCAL January siggy challenge ***
  • I'm so sorry you find yourself back here *hug*
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



  • So sorry for your loss ((hugs))

    IUI#3 brought us our dragon baby Z

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    TTCAL January 2015 Siggy Challenge: Animal Snow Interactions 


  • Oh, lady. I'm so so sorry about all of your losses. Try to stay strong, we are here for you. Hugs.
    started TTC 3/2014 & got hitched 4/2014
    husbter's a 38 y/o smarty pants phD/me? a 27 y/o cat lady extraordinaire
    & we're missing our darling barnacles:
    May 2014 loss @ 9 weeks, MMC, no hb found at first appointment | edd dec 4 2014
    October 2014 loss @ 12 weeks, MMC measuring 10w after hearing hb @ 8w | edd apr 15, 2015
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  • Oh no! I'm so sorry you're back here
    Me: 32 DH: 32
    Met: 4/25/2004, Married 8/14/2010
    Off BC 1/2013 TTC (actively) since 5/2013
    5/2014 started testing with RE, me:  HSG normal, normal AMH, no cysts; DH: great sperm
    Unexplained IF + unexplained anovulation (post-pill vs hypothalamic)

    7/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFN
    8/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFP #1: 9/12/2014, EDD 5/22/2015, MMC 10/11/2014 8w1d
    11/2014 Clomid + Novarel + IUI 12/5/14: BFFN
    12/2014 Comid + Novarel + IUI 1/3/15: ???

    **PgAL/PAL welcome**

  • I am so sorry for your losses.  Welcome back.
    Married to DH since 6/30/2007
    Me: 32  DH: 32
    BFP #1: 4/1/2010 DS born: 12/3/10
    TTC #2 since 5/2014
    BFP # 2 : 6/16/14 EDD: 2/25/15  Missed Miscarriage discovered 7/10/14 D&C 7/17/14 Pathology results normal
    BFP #3
    : 10/21/14 EDD: 7/6/15  11/24/14:  Saw heartbeat! 
    Missed Miscarriage discovered 12/22/14 at 12w0d D&C 12/23/14 Pathology: Partial Molar Pregnancy/Triploidy
    ~~Currently benched following PMP~~ 
    **all AL welcome**



    image image
    TTCAL January 2015 Siggy Challenge:  Animals in the snow
    Scumbag Penguin

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  • I'm so so sorry. (((Hugs)))
  • I am so sorry. So many (((hugs))). Welcome back.
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

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    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

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    My Ovulation Chart
  • I'm so sorry for your losses and that you find yourself back here.
    TTC since August 2013 BFP #1 1/15/14...MMC 2/24/14...D&C 3/3/14 BFP #2 5/11/14 ... severe pre-e placental abruption our angel born sleeping at 22 weeks Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I'm so sorry you find yourself back here. I'm also very sorry for your losses. Big (((((((hugs)))))))
    Me: 38
    DX:  Adenomyosis, Compounded MTHFR, PAI-1 4G variant

    DH: 34
    MFI due to Testicular Cancer

    Married March 2012 <3
    IVF w/ICSI #1
    10 little polar bears
    FET #1 with 2 polar bears ~Nov 6, 2013 BFN :(
    FET # 2 with 2 more polar bears ~March 19, 2014 BFP!!!
    Beta 1= 276
    Beta 2= 662
    4/19/14 ~ baby A became an angel
    5/02/14 ~ baby B became an angel
    5/3/14 ~ D&C
    FET #3 with 1 male polar bear ~October 3, 2014
    October 13, 2014 ~ BFN
    Fur Children:  Memphis 3y, Dutch 3y, Marcel 2y, Meadow 1y



    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
    Animals Interacting with Snow

    image


  • I'm so, so sorry.
    BFP #1: 5-14-2010, DD born 1-22-2011
    BFP #2: 4-20-2012, Natural MC 5-1-2012
    BFP #3: 7-19-2012, DS born 3-27-2013
    BFP #4: 9-13-2014, MMC discovered 10-27-14 at 10w, d&c on 11-6-14 

  • So sorry for your losses and that you find your self back here. 

    praying
    • now somewhere where the love flows •
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  • SeaParrotSeaParrot member
    edited January 2015
    (((HUGS))) I am so very sorry. This just fucking sucks.

    Word for word, that is exactly what I told the OB who confirmed the ectopic. "This just fucking sucks." He was a kind old gentleman who was far too upbeat for my liking in the circumstances.
    ~ K.

    PCOS, EDS III, low progesterone. Six early losses (5-8 weeks,) 1 twin loss. Surprise natural BFP 2014-12-17
    Ectopic dx and MTX 2015-01-02.
  • I'm so sorry about your loss.  Welcome back.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    Me 36 DH 39

    DD 3/29/12
                      BFP 6/4/14 ~ MMC 7/7/14 ~ D&C 7/15/14            
    BFP 11/28/14 ~ MMC  12/29/14    

    TTCAL Siggy Challenge
    image

  • I'm so so sorry!! That sounds horrible. Big ((hugs)) for you, lady!

    Anniversary
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    TTC since July 2014
    BFP#1 11/1/14, EDD 7/15/15, 
    MM/C (blighted ovum) 12/2/14 at 8 wks, D&C 12/5/14
    Fur Parents to Mercy, Fluffy and Big Tex
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • lav17 said:
    I am so sorry, big ((hugs)). Can I TP your friend for you? What an insensitive thing to do!!

    She apologized, having realized after the fact that it probably was not going to cheer me up. It wasn't done to be hurtful, and like a lot of people she just doesn't know how to respond to loss appropriately. I'm not mad at her, just sad for myself.
    ~ K.

    PCOS, EDS III, low progesterone. Six early losses (5-8 weeks,) 1 twin loss. Surprise natural BFP 2014-12-17
    Ectopic dx and MTX 2015-01-02.
  • I am so sorry for your losses and that you find yourself here again.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers        Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

    Oct Angel*BFP 1/25/14 * EDD 10/6/14 * US#1 2/26/14 *US#2 3/3/14 no heartbeat*d&c 3/12/14*

    BFP 1/17/15 * EDD 9/30/15

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  • I'm so sorry for your losses and that you find yourself back here. Sending ((hugs)) your way.

    Married: 9/25/10
    TTC # 1 since 5/2013
    BFP # 1: 2/7/14, mmc 3/12/14, D&C 3/19/14
    Boy, Trisomy 13, Karyotyping and Genetic Testing all normal
    Hysteroscopy and D&C 6/2/14, retained tissue
    Off the bench 7/14
    BFP # 2: 10/3/14, Blighted ovum, D&C 11/12/14
    Girl, no chromosomal abnormalities detected
    RPL Testing: Pre-diabetic, ANA+
    "I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it." - e.e. cummings

  • I'm so sorry you are back here (((hugs)))

    PgAL welcome


    Married 6/11/2011

    Me & Hubby: 34

    TTC journey started 12/2012

    BFP #1 6/5/2013, MC confirmed 6/26/2013 @ 7 wks

    BFP#2 8/25/2013 MC confirmed 10/16/2013 @ 12 wks (D&C 10/18)

    Diagnosis: unexplained RPL, unexplained IF.

    Also have hypothyroidism

    Started TTC again 12/2013

     

    IUI#1:Clomid CD 3-7, Trigger'ed CD 12. IUI CD 14. BFN

    IUI #2:Letrozole CD 3 - 7, Follistim CD 9, Trigger CD 10, IUI CD12. BFN

    Current plan: IVF with PGD. Antagonist - Vivelle Protocal. Stim start 12/1. ER 12/14.

    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/502498

    image imageimage

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  • Sorry for your loss and that you are back here. (hugs)
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

  • I'm truly sorry for your losses and that you are in so much pain. Sending you lots of hugs. Hang in there, sweetie. 
    * Me: 31, DH: 33 * Married 10.16.10 * Parents of our furbaby Sophie *
    BFP: 8.28.14 | EDD 5.6.15 | MMC Discovered 9.25.14 (8 weeks)| D&C 9.30.14

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    "Everybody here has got a story to tell. Everybody's been through their own hell. There's nothing too special about getting hurt, but getting over it that takes the work. Because one way or another, we all need each other. Nothing's going to turn out the way you thought it would. Friends and lovers, don't you duck and cover because everything comes out the way it should in the end." -Glen Phillips, "Duck and Cover" 


  • I'm so sorry that you find yourself back here. I hope you find support. ((Hugs))
    Me: 26 DH:28
    TTC - Sept 2014
    # 1 BFP - October 5, 2014 EDD June 5, 2015 CP - October 14, 2014


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    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animal Interactions in the Snow
  • I'm so sorry for your losses and that you are back here. Sending you positive thoughts.
    image Me: 32 DH: 33 Married 5/2007 TTC# 1
    BFP 11/27/14, Blighted ovum suspected 12/22/14, confirmation of MMC and Cytotec 1/2/15
  • So, extremely sorry for your losses and that you are back. It does seem that when things are shit for us, they're going great elsewhere (5 pregnancy announcements on my fb newsfeed Christmas Day - ugh), but it's important to be kind to yourself.

    Many ((hugs)) and well wishes headed your way.
  • so so sorry for you to have to go through this so much. 

    I dont understand how anyone would think their BFP would make you feel better. Thats in line and  as bad as my H's comments as far as Im concerned. Hugs. 
    SIGGY WARNING
    Me 38   DH 34
    married 05-21-11 
    started TTC right away






    BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 
  • I'm sorry that you find yourself back here again. Take care of yourself. (((Hugs)))
    TTC: Since July 2013
    BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
  • I'm so sorry. I hope at least the cramps are gone soon,
    image
    image
    DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser
    Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007
    BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11
    BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d
    BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d
    BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 
    BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d
    BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]
    In search of a image


  • Sending you lots and lots of big hugs and so sorry you found yourself back here.
  • I'm so sorry you have to go through this again but just know your reactions to other people's pregnancies are normal. Hugs to you!!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Oh honey, I'm so sorry to see you back here.  Tried to cheer you up...WTF?  I do not follow that logic!  Take all of the time that you need to heal and I hope that your sister will understand.  Big ((((HUGS)))) lady and know that you can lean on us.
    TTC #3 since 8/2012 image
    DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS
    6/2010
     BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
    BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014

    My chart here  All ALers welcome!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    June 3Missing Our January Snowflake
  • I'm so sorry for your losses.
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