July 2015 Moms
sschwege
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Is Anyone Finding Out the Sex but Not Telling?
sschwege
member
The name post got me thinking, I get the idea of not sharing names. Too many opinions, now you are more locked in, etc. But is anyone planning to find out the sex, but not share that until baby is born? And if so, why?
I know of one person who did this IRL. It was a lady in my moms' group. Her and her husband found out they were having a girl, but did not share with anyone, went as far as to pretend they did not know either. When the baby was born it was a boy, the u/s tech had been wrong! Their whole family said it served them right for keeping it a secret! I would be curious to know why you wouldn't tell anyone?
I know of one person who did this IRL. It was a lady in my moms' group. Her and her husband found out they were having a girl, but did not share with anyone, went as far as to pretend they did not know either. When the baby was born it was a boy, the u/s tech had been wrong! Their whole family said it served them right for keeping it a secret! I would be curious to know why you wouldn't tell anyone?
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Re: Is Anyone Finding Out the Sex but Not Telling?
We'll be team green this time as well. I don't think neutral clothes are that hard to find. Gerber and Carter's both have a decent selection of neutral onesies and sleepers and that's all you need at the beginning.
What? That's not even a little true. A pack of onesies is the same whether it has flowers, ducks, or sailboats. Also, my DS wore a decent amount of DD's flowered stuff at the beginning and so far he still has a penis. It's not that big of a deal.
We were out one night and she was really pg (9 month-ish) talking about everything. And my sister (who doesn't know her well) said "you know" based off of what she was saying. She admitted it, but made us promise not to say anything b/c her husband didn't want to know and she found out on her own. Yep, her husband didn't know she knew. And we knew.
It was so odd.
BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010
BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011
BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013
BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy. Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)
BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014
See, this is why I have such a problem with gender reveal parties. Basically it's another baby shower with a different theme.
I've never actually been to or known anyone who has had one IRL though, so my knowledge is limited to what I have seen on here.
ETA: I read a few responses. I'm gathering presents are not the norm.
There was a post on the third tri where the girl was complaining about the sprinkle she hosted for herself. Basically she invited 40 people and only 1 person showed. Why do you think only one person showed? Maybe because everyone was judging the hell out of her, but similar to your nearest and dearest they wouldn't say it to her face, so they just didn't show up. Here's the link: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12502085/baby-shower-2nd-boy-any-thoughts/p1
You claim you don't need anything, then what are the gift cards for? Also you are 'only' asking for a book, gift card and diapers. Well that is going to add up quick for guests. Let's say someone spends $5 on a book, $10 on a gift card and $10 on diapers, here they are at $25 and I'm being conservative here! You are fooling yourself if you believe people are going to be excited about this.
Nobody gives a fuck whether you are having a boy or a girl. Your MIL might have a preference, your BFF may be hoping for one over the other- but for the vast majority of people (people who love you and care about you even!) the sex is peripheral and just not that important.
The idea that you would throw a big party to "reveal" this big news that only you and your DH care about anyway is laughably self-centered and kind of ridiculous. To ask for gifts on top of that? Yikes. I would side-eye the shit out of any friend or family member if they did something like this, and of course decline the invitation.
(Probably should have posted this in UO! Before anyone jumps all over me, making a little ceremony out of finding out the sex, and having a few friends or family members there to share the moment with you- totally different. I'll just find out during the u/s, but I totally get wanting to have a more special experience. But having a big party, essentially a second self-hosted shower, is just tacky.)
"Dear friends and family, I have no use for a $3 Hallmark card with your thoughts and well wishes written it. Stuff only, pls. And gift cards.Thx."
Is this real life?
If someone is getting you a card and not a gift, they don't want to get you a gift. It's not like they're at the store thinking "gee would so-and-so like this $50 thingamagig from their registry or would they prefer a nice card with a handwritten note in it?" They can't afford to get you a gift, or they don't feel obligated to get you a gift, or they don't feel like the occasion or their relationship to you merits a gift, or they prefer to express their love through words and not through $ and objects. In any situation telling people not to give you cards is the EPITOME of ungrateful entitlement. I am not an etiquette nazi but I cannot believe this is a "thing" now.
BFP #5 11/15/14, Team Green EDD 7/22/15
BFP #4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan. 2014
BFP #3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d (baby measured 8w5d)
BFP #2 9/23/10, healthy baby girl born med-free June 2011
BFP #1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d (baby measured 8wks), D&C 6/29/10
"Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, just take another shot."
Edited bc I'm trigger happy and can't spell.
Play a game to reveal it with my parents and then just to make it fun for them but no big reveal and of course I wouldn't expect any gifts
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@sassycassieb you are the wisest of the wise. LOL at OP telling us she has too much class for The Bump but not enough class to know better than this "heinous" <------- loved this too Cassie, tackfest.
and my partner are finding out the sex and we were just going to call people after! However, both our families have asked to be told at the same time so I will do every one dinner and tell them then, I'll be mortified if anyone brings me a present though!