Irrational fear?

mrswernow · January 2015

I am 37w and I have been completely overtaken with anxiety. I have an irrational fear that something will happen to my baby before birth. I've had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and I have no symptoms or risk factors for a stillborn. Please tell me that this is normal?

sanbry · January 2015

I'm in the same boat and was the same with my first too. I'm prone to anxiety though, I see a therapist for it. I'm also 37 weeks.

bustysinclare · January 2015

Try not to think about it. I know that sounds hard, but they baby will come out someway or another and you have pretty much zero control over it. That's why the idea of a "birth plan" is no silly. Do your best to distract yourself or you will make yourself crazy. Good luck!

BookitBoo · January 2015

I would bring it up to your doctor, s/he might refer you to a therapist or they might be able to help you. Pregnancy hormones can encourage OCD, anxiety, And depression. I think it's better to go ahead and make your doctor aware and get help now

ktin987 · January 2015

I think it's normal in pregnancy. It's the fear of not knowing how everything will go and the anxiety of everything. I've heard it's pretty common to have thoughts about something happening, but if it becomes overwhelming then you should mention it to your dr. Also, I've read a lot of moms feel similar but just don't say anything so it's probably more common than you think. Everything will be fine - find some way to relax. Good luck- baby will be here soon

4littlebears · January 2015

This can definitely happen to anyone. After my first was born I swore I'd never have another child because the state of the world was so bad. After each of my kids I became terrified of things that would 99.9% never happen. I agree to mention it to your doctor and what helped me more was to seek a therapist to talk to. But don't feel alone, this happens more than most people like to admit.

mowl2014 · January 2015

I go through period of getting very nervous as well. I'm sure it's irrational and I mostly cuddle with my DH to try to wish away the thoughts

marvan5 · January 2015

I practice deep meditation, relaxation, and positive pregnancy affirmations (almost) daily with help from my Hypnobabies program. It definitely takes practice but I know I am avoiding a lot of anxiety I would otherwise have, because I am prone to it. Like PP's have said do talk to your doctor about this, you really want to get this addressed. Also, like PP has said avoid any negative pregnancy related media (which is almost everything you ever hear about pregnancy). The vast majority of pregnancies and births are totally healthy and safe for mom and baby. It is a totally natural thing! You are in my thoughts.

readyforround2 · January 2015

I'm going to tell you a story, not to scare you, but to help you understand why I'm strongly suggesting you look for a prenatal counselor or a regular therapist to help get you through this.

In October I thought I was loosing my daughter. It was the second day of my husband and I's 3 year anniversary trip to Orlando. We had a wonderful time walking around the parks and picking out Disney gear for her, but when we got back to the hotel to change for dinner I noticed a lot of blood after I went to the bathroom. Long story short, after an ER stay, a scary ambulance ride to a near by women's center, and 4 hours of monitoring, we got the all clear. We cut our vacation short so we could do a follow up visit with my OB's office back home and got another all clear. Our LO was healthy, the placenta looked great and her heartbeat was strong, but I couldn't help but still think that I had lost her or was going to lose her.

I distanced myself from her and my husband and felt terrified all the time. Even though I had looked over all the tests and I could feel her move constantly I could not shake the fear and anxiety I had. The fear literally paralyzed me at times if I didn't feel her move for awhile. I had trouble concentrating at work and wanted nothing to do with anything "baby."

I knew that something needed to change so I started by talking to my husband about my feelings and coming back to this board. The ladies here helped me realize that it was normal to be scared after what had happened but that I shouldn't let that fear over shadow the rest of my pregnancy. My next step was to have a very candid discussion with my OB about how I was really feeling. After the appointment he set me up with their offices prenatal counselor (which I didn't know they had until then). I've had 3 phone sessions with her so far and they have helped me immensely!

I was never one to think that therapy was something that would work for me, but after talking to the counselor I realized that having a third party that doesn't know me or my husband to talk to allowed me to open up a lot more and dig deeper into my fears of pregnancy, birth and motherhood.

I'm very sorry that you are going through this. I understand how bad this kind of anxiety can be and I want you to know that some anxiety is normal but if it is consuming your every thought then steps need to be taken to diminish it. I really hope you look into seeing a counselor as well as making sure your SO or family members understand how you are feeling.

I can't express in words how good I feel now after talking to my counselor! I still have my days where I worry but the coping mechanisms that she has taught me have helped me not fixate on the negative.

I wish you the best of luck with your anxiety and a calm and peaceful last few weeks of pregnancy!

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