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The waiting game= PCOS + 2 Miscarriages + IUI + Clomid

poorvispoorvis member
edited January 2015 in TTC After a Loss
Newbie here!

I'm finding the waiting game to be much harder than I thought and to keep myself from going crazy, I'm reaching out to you guys for support on two levels. One for the wait and another for coping with loss while someone close is pregnant. So here goes!! 

I have now been TTC for over a year and 2014 has been rough. I was diagnosed with PCOS in June and began the atrocity that is known as Metformin. 

Surprisingly, I got pregnant shortly after but then miscarried one week after a BFP. No biggie, I thought, and chalked it up to chance. But then, the weird psychology of 'you want what you cant have' set in. And the baby obsession roller-coaster began. First, for me, the Metformin initiation process was worse than my sorority hazing days. It was humiliating and made me feel scared to leave my home after dinner in fear of having an accident. So naturally, I quit taking the meds in Sept. A visit with my RE got me back on it for October and, lo and behold, by Thanksgiving, I'm pregnant again!

Okay, I was going to make sure everything was right for this one. I took my meds, ate less carbs and cut out all toxins. And then- I miscarried again a week after my BFP. This loss was tough because both me and my sister had our BFP's together. We celebrated and I secretly imagined how awesome it would be have doctor appointments together and etc. After my loss, it hurt to talk to her, it hurt to be happy for her while I was so worried/hurt myself. I mean what if I never keep a pregnancy ever again!? But- I'm better now. And honestly, I am excited for her- her bursts of excitement during her pregnancy milestones sometimes really burn, but I'm okay with this loss. I just really don't know about my mental status if I were to have another loss. 

I researched a lot and began Myo Inositol supplements after the November loss and I must say- NO CYSTS! Nope, not even a small baby one this December! My RE suggested she monitor and time my pregnancy this time rather than me conceiving on my own. I agreed.

She (my RE)  started me on 150mg clomid this cycle for days 3-7. I had two mature follicles and received a trigger shot yesterday and an IUI today afternoon. DH soldiers were good, they had a motility of 4/4 after being washed and had a count of 67 million. I was asked to BD again tonight to increase my chances of twinning (my personal preference). 

And so, here we are! I'm biting my nails and counting down the days until I see my RE again (Jan 15). Any words of wisdom? Anyone out there been through something similar to shine light on anything? I'm terrified I will lose another baby and the statistics behind 2 losses is grim. 

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Re: The waiting game= PCOS + 2 Miscarriages + IUI + Clomid

  • PinkCaminoPinkCamino member
    poorvis said:
    Newbie here!

    I'm finding the waiting game to be much harder than I thought and to keep myself from going crazy, I'm reaching out to you guys for support on two levels. One for the wait and another for coping with loss while someone close is pregnant. So here goes!! 

    I have now been TTC for over a year and 2014 has been rough. I was diagnosed with PCOS in June and began the atrocity that is known as Metformin. 

    Surprisingly, I got pregnant shortly after but then miscarried one week after a BFP. No biggie, I thought, and chalked it up to fate. But then, the weird psychology of 'you want what you cant have' set in. And the baby obsession roller-coaster began. First, for me, the Metformin initiation process was worse than my sorority hazing days. It was humiliating and made me feel scared to leave my home after dinner in fear of having an accident. So naturally, I quit taking the meds in Sept. A visit with my RE got me back on it for October and, lo and behold, by Thanksgiving, I'm pregnant again!

    Okay, I was going to make sure everything was right for this one. I took my meds, ate less carbs and cut out all toxins. And then- I miscarried again a week after my BFP. This loss was tough because both me and my sister had our BFP's together. We celebrated and I secretly imagined how awesome it would be have doctor appointments together and etc. After my loss, it hurt to talk to her, it hurt to be happy for her while I was so worried/hurt myself. I mean what if I never keep a pregnancy ever again!? But- I'm better now. And honestly, I am excited for her- her bursts of excitement during her pregnancy milestones sometimes really burn, but I'm okay with this loss. I just really don't know about my mental status if I were to have another loss. 

    I researched a lot and began Myo Inositol supplements after the November loss and I must say- NO CYSTS! Nope, not even a small baby one this December! My RE suggested she monitor and time my pregnancy this time rather than me conceiving on my own. I agreed.

    She (my RE)  started me on 150mg clomid this cycle for days 3-7. I had two mature follicles and received a trigger shot yesterday and an IUI today afternoon. DH soldiers were good, they had a motility of 4/4 after being washed and had a count of 67 million. I was asked to BD again tonight to increase my chances of twinning (my personal preference). 

    And so, here we are! I'm biting my nails and counting down the days until I see my RE again (Jan 15). Any words of wisdom? Anyone out there been through something similar to shine light on anything? I'm terrified I will lose another baby and the statistics behind 2 losses is grim. 

    I'm sorry for your losses and that you find yourself here. Having said that, I would really caution you against using the term "fate" to describe anything to do with miscarriage or pregnancy loss - I certainly to not find the explanation of "fate" a comforting one as I imagine many of the ladies here will agree.

    Also, what do you mean by twinning? Your personal preference is to have twins?
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  • poorvispoorvis member
    How about chance? Is that more appropriate? Let me know and I will change it accordingly. Yes, I am referring to having twins when I use the term 'twinning'. Many people are opposed to it so I just wanted to make clear that it is a personal preference of mine to concieve twins. 
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  • PinkCaminoPinkCamino member
    poorvis said:
    How about chance? Is that more appropriate? Let me know and I will change it accordingly. Yes, I am referring to having twins when I use the term 'twinning'. Many people are opposed to it so I just wanted to make clear that it is a personal preference of mine to concieve twins. 
    You do realize that there are enormous risks with carrying twins right?

    I've lost 2 twin pregnancies and I can tell you that if I had to choose I would NOT want to carry another set.

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  • poorvispoorvis member
    Yes, I do realize that is a risk. That is why I said it is a personal preferance. 
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  • PinkCaminoPinkCamino member
    poorvis said:
    Yes, I do realize that is a risk. That is why I said it is a personal preferance. 
    okay, why is it your preference?
    Report Reply
  • meredithcarolemeredithcarole member
    I am sorry for your losses.

    Regarding dealing with someone else's pregnancy while you are not, the only thing I can say is you have to be honest with your sister about your need to navigate everything at your own pace and in your own way. If it becomes too much back away a bit. It is not that you are not happy for her, but you have to protect yourself.

    As for the anxiety of waiting, there is really no cure for that. I wish you luck with this cycle. Should you be fortunate enough to get a BFP please introduce yourself on PGAL.
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

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    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

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    My Ovulation Chart
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  • poorvispoorvis member
    I signed up in TTC after Loss in hopes of getting some support and coping methods on my miscarriages and dealing with other peoples pregnancies as well as the 2W.

    I am here because I am having trouble keeping even one PG for longer than 5 weeks. But, seems like the only thing I cannot control- having twins- is the topic of discussion here. 

    meredithcarole) who offered me good coping support (only 1/6), thank you. And thank you to those who shared your personal experiences in a way that was not condescending, judgmental or brow beating. You're right, twinning sounds much different when given personal experiences rather than medical journal warnings. 

    Either way- I am just a little disappointed because it seems like no one I know really understands and I was hoping to make allies for supoprt here. I genuinely hope we all get exactly what we want in life, whether its biological, adopted, pets or just leisure. 

    Thank you. 


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  • rslh10rslh10 member
    furrypaws said:
    BookishMomma said:
    I want a pony.

    Here sweetie :heart:image
    the sweater!!!! :x
    image
    Hubs & I -29 • Met 5/18/04 • Married 5/8/10
    BFP #1 DS 2/7/11 (Born @ 34 wks via ECS due to Pre-e) TTC #2 since Aug '13
    DX Low AMH (.58) March '14 • FSH-7.5 • E2-35.5 (Nov '14)
    SA- Great numbers • SIS- Clear (Nov '14)
     Cycle 1- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-BFP • EDD 1/12/15 
    Ectopic @ 5w6d • Methotrexate Shot 5/18/14
    Cycle 2,3,4- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-- BFN
    Cycle 5- Letrozole CD3-7 & Trigger BFFN
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    • Everyone Welcome •
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge • Animal Snow Interactions
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  • buggirl72buggirl72 member
    poorvis said:
    I signed up in TTC after Loss in hopes of getting some support and coping methods on my miscarriages and dealing with other peoples pregnancies as well as the 2W.

    I am here because I am having trouble keeping even one PG for longer than 5 weeks. But, seems like the only thing I cannot control- having twins- is the topic of discussion here. 

    meredithcarole) who offered me good coping support (only 1/6), thank you. And thank you to those who shared your personal experiences in a way that was not condescending, judgmental or brow beating. You're right, twinning sounds much different when given personal experiences rather than medical journal warnings. 

    Either way- I am just a little disappointed because it seems like no one I know really understands and I was hoping to make allies for supoprt here. I genuinely hope we all get exactly what we want in life, whether its biological, adopted, pets or just leisure. 

    Thank you. 


    I'm confused at how what I wrote was not support. I guess your requirement for support was that we provide the support you demanded for both issues you are facing?

    As far as I can tell, you are at zero as far as how much support you have given to anyone on this board so I don't think I would start criticizing us for the support we gave you not being up to your standard.

    I would also strongly suggest that you lurk on a board before you post. This board is pretty straight forward. You posted something that we perceived as being dangerous to your health and the health of a future pregnancy and decided to address that. Sorry if you were looking for something else - you are not going to find that here.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
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