How to keep faith?

Sassafras823 · January 2015

I'm finding it so difficult to wait for another ultrasound to know that everything is as it should be and the little heart is still beating. From 6 weeks to 12 seems like forever, especially being over 35 and having some spotting...and I keep reading posts by mothers who lost their pregnancies only to find out weeks later. Does it seem like a long wait for everyone else? How do you stay positive? I almost feel like going somewhere where you can pay to get an ultrasound done...just to reconfirm like halfway through this wait...crazy, I know...nerves and hormones are a fun combo, huh...

Bostonchelle · January 2015

Did you mention to your doctor that you are spotting? Did you have an ultrasound post spotting? Waiting is definitely rough!

marijaa333 · January 2015

To be honest, I actually tried my best to stay somewhat detached throughout the first trimester; obviously, not to the point where I was behaving irresponsibly, but I tried to remind myself that I was doing everything I could however, a big portion of the outcome was out of my hands. I'm only now - at 21 weeks - allowing for it all to sink in fully. It may sound crazy, but that has been my coping mechanism. Another alternative is to just keep busy and distract yourself. The early days are tough; it does get better with each passing week.

mandyreads · January 2015

I was a bit detached in some ways also at first. I was excited but I thought if something happened it was meant to be. But then I started spotting around 11wks. I broke down crying in the middle of the night. I didn't want to lose this baby. Thankfully it all worked out.

But I understand what you are feeling. But like the PP said...keep yourself busy as much as possible. Hang in there!!

niknak1208 · January 2015

It's really hard. I know.

. I spent my first two losses blaming myself and feeling awful. I lost at almost 20 weeks in 2011 and it was the most heartbreaking difficult thing I've ever been through. But if it taught me anything.. It's that I could not have caused that. Sometimes things just happen and we don't know why snd we never will. But knowing that it wasn't my fault and that nothing I did contributed to that made it easier to be pregnant and stay positive.

Good luck to you.

jerseygirl227 · January 2015

marijaa333 said:

To be honest, I actually tried my best to stay somewhat detached throughout the first trimester; obviously, not to the point where I was behaving irresponsibly, but I tried to remind myself that I was doing everything I could however, a big portion of the outcome was out of my hands. I'm only now - at 21 weeks - allowing for it all to sink in fully. It may sound crazy, but that has been my coping mechanism. Another alternative is to just keep busy and distract yourself. The early days are tough; it does get better with each passing week.

I'm the same way. I am 12 weeks. We told my parents on Christmas Eve. Word is out now, and that makes me even more nervous. Doc says everything looks good and baby is growing nicely, but I worry. I am 42 and have read so many (or so it seems) stories about women losing in the fourth or fifth month. I am still trying to remain somewhat detached, even now.

It's hard to wait, and it's hard not to worry. Take a deep breath and, like others have said, stay positive.

Sassafras823 · January 2015

Thanks, everyone! Hoping all works out for each of us!!

superlowamh · January 2015

I perfectly understand your feelings. With my first loss, I had a perfect ultrasound at 8 weeks, with a perfect heartbeat. After that, no spotting, no cramping, and LOTS of morning sickness. Until 12 weeks when I went for my second ultrasound to find out that baby died at 8 weeks and 3 days...

After that, I am always under the care of a RE. This way, I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks 3 days, then at 9 weeks 5 days. Then I had the first ultrasound at the OB/gyn office at 10 weeks 3 days. This way, if I lost the baby, I would know right away.

If it is possible, and you are super anxious, I'd definitely consider paying for an additional ultrasound just for you to be able to calm down...

Sassafras823 · January 2015

superlowamh I've been trying to google what "RE" means but can't find it - what is that?

superlowamh · January 2015

It is Reproductive Endocrinologist

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