Horrible Dr. Appt

CC1017 · December 2014

I am having a shit day. My OB referred me to a maternal fetal medicine specialist, who I saw today.

I want to smack that bitch and my OB for referring me to her. The first thing she said to me was "So how many weeks pregnant are you?" Um I'm not fucking pregnant. Read my chart. Then she proceeded to tell me that there was nothing she would recommend for me. That my loss is a risk of pregnancy with a bicornuate uterus. I asked some questions about a suspected fibroid that was seen on my last ultrasound and she told me that was a gyn issue and they only do tests on pregnant women.

I'm so angry and confused. I have no idea why my OB referred me to this woman. I am going to have some choice words for her when she calls me back. So now I don't know what the fuck to do.

catvaughn5002 · December 2014

I don't have any advice but damn that SUCKS. There was clearly a major communication issue between your OB and the new doctor. Also, the new doctor definitely should have looked before asking about you being pregnant. I hope you can get it sorted out with your OB soon. ((hugs))

rslh10 · December 2014

Oh my gosh I am so sorry that you had that happen today! Have you seen an RE? If I would you I would demand a referral to an RE and say bye bye to your OB! So many hugs!!!!

O2girl · December 2014

Ugh!!! I'm so sorry your OB sent you there! Big ((((((hugs))))))) sweetie!

cooldown726 · December 2014

Oh YUCK! I am so sorry you had to deal with that.

CC1017 · December 2014

PetraStonegirl said:

You need to see an RE, not a MFM unless the intent of seeing the MFM was only to establish whether there was anything to do in the event of another pregnancy. Bad communication with the OB, and the same thing happened to another TTCALer recently.

I wish she would have given me some answers about what to do in the event of another pregnancy. But her answer was nothing. She would recommend nothing different. I just don't understand that.

Littleowl913 · December 2014

Well that's some shit. I'm sorry your OB did that to you. ((hugs))

LittleDucky · December 2014

That is awful. Even if she thinks nothing can be done differently in a future pregnancy, there are kinder ways to discuss that. And possibly offer increased monitoring or something like that to put your mind at ease. And if there really isnt anything they could do, couldn't your OB have found that out from her instead of making you go and have such an awful interaction. Plus the MFM's bedside manner was terrible.

CC1017 · December 2014

rslh10 said:

Oh my gosh I am so sorry that you had that happen today! Have you seen an RE? If I would you I would demand a referral to an RE and say bye bye to your OB! So many hugs!!!!

@rslh10 I'm worried that an RE is going to say they can't do anything for me either. I don't know. After that appointment with the MFM I feel like my only option is to get pregnant and cross my fingers.

PinkCamino · December 2014

((Hugs))

I imagine that seeing the MFM was to come up with a treatment plan when you do get pregnant again. Because bicornuate uterus can cause issues with preterm labour maybe the goal of this appointment was setting up a solid treatment plan.

BookishMomma · December 2014

Ugh, what bullshit. So sorry you had to go through that.

NOBB14 · December 2014

I am sooooo sorry! Holy balls, how disappointing and infuriating. The miscommunication totally blows, but maybe at least now you do have an "in" with the MFM in the event of new pregnancy? Although I know that's not much consolation now. Ugh. Hugs.

rmpar29 · December 2014

I'm so sorry that you went through this. I hope you hear back from your OB soon and I second the advice to see an RE.

((((HUGS)))

meredithcarole · December 2014

This is exactly what happened to @nikolie93. I am very sorry you were referred to the wrong specialist.

Also, I very much disagree with the MFM that fibroids are an issue for a gynecologist. Make an appointment with an RE. They will be able to tell you if the fibroid is an issue.

CC1017 · December 2014

PinkCamino said:

((Hugs)) I imagine that seeing the MFM was to come up with a treatment plan when you do get pregnant again. Because bicornuate uterus can cause issues with preterm labour maybe the goal of this appointment was setting up a solid treatment plan.

@PinkCamino I wish this could have been the outcome of our appointment. But what I got out of her was that a 2nd tri loss is a risk of pregnancy with a bicornuate uterus. She wouldn't recommend anything different in a future pregnancy. That just wasn't what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear about all the things that we could do next time to prevent this from happening again. Super bummed.

CC1017 · December 2014

@NOBB14 No way! I'm never going back to her again!

Cheetara2 · December 2014

That's fucked up! Sorry you had to go through that. I really think that outside of a normal pregnancy, most of these OBs have no clue. As Petra said, you should be seeing an RE not a MFM.

ellebelle2384 · December 2014

I'm sorry. That's a huge miscommunication and a huge let down. I also recommend seeking out a RE and hope they can figure out a plan.

MSU_Girl1202 · December 2014

Ugh, I'm so sorry. That's so insensitive ofbger. I would definitely look into seeing a RE. Big ((hugs))

EIsieMae · December 2014

That's so shitty. I'm sorry you had to go through that today. ((Hugs))

[Deleted User] · December 2014

I am so sorry that happened. I would also recommend going to an RE.

PinkCamino · December 2014

Cheetara2 said:
That's fucked up! Sorry you had to go through that. I really think that outside of a normal pregnancy, most of these OBs have no clue. As Petra said, you should be seeing an RE not a MFM.

She should also be seeing an MFM.

PinkCamino · December 2014

PetraStonegirl said:

PinkCamino said:

Cheetara2 said:
That's fucked up! Sorry you had to go through that. I really think that outside of a normal pregnancy, most of these OBs have no clue. As Petra said, you should be seeing an RE not a MFM.
She should also be seeing an MFM.

Agreed. There is a legitimate reason to see an MFM in her case. However, I think it is plainly evident that that particular MFM can fuck right off. She should be having a consultation with an MFM that won't just look at her and say 'sucks to be you, that's the risk you run'.

Agreed.

I'm fucking horrified that there was no mention of cervical monitoring.

sunflwra · December 2014

As Pink and a few others have said, I can see the reasoning for the MFM referral versus the RE considering the 2nd tri loss and a successful pregnancy. I was referred to one for a consult since my issue doesn't seem to be getting pregnant but staying that way past 16 weeks or so (both of my losses were cleared for the bulk of genetic issues that cause pregnancy loss). Unfortunately, your MFM just absolutely fucking sucked. My visit did walk through some various reasons of what could have gone wrong with my 2 losses but mainly a few ideas of what we could do next time as preventative measures.

I don't know enough about fibroids and would defer to others experience on if something like that should be managed by an RE, but I would think a new MFM and RE consultation might be in order. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that- no doctor should think that's an acceptable way to manage someone's care. Good luck in finding some new resources!

CC1017 · January 2015

Thanks for all the hugs and advice ladies. My OB is out until next week but I'll be sure to ask her about the RE. The last time I had a saline sonogram (10 years ago) my gyn did it - is that not a good idea?

Nikolie93 · January 2015

I'm sorry your appointment sucked

Like someone mentioned, the same thing happened to me where my OB made an appointment for me to see the high risk Dr but I was supposed to see an RE. The high risk Dr said some stupid shit to me too that pissed me off

I think our situations may be a bit different though, as Pink mentioned.

I hope it works out soon for you *hug*

LittleMrsW · January 2015

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I would be so pissed too. ((Hugs))

alm288 · January 2015

Oh no - I'd be pissed too. I'm so sorry it was a waste of your time, energy, and emotions. Hope you can get an appt with the RE soon. (((Hugs)))

imnotfancy · January 2015

I'm so sorry!! That sucks! Big ((hugs)).
New Years TP?!

stephy1221 · January 2015

So sorry : (

Hope you get the correct referral soon

meredithcarole · January 2015

CC1017 said:

Thanks for all the hugs and advice ladies. My OB is out until next week but I'll be sure to ask her about the RE. The last time I had a saline sonogram (10 years ago) my gyn did it - is that not a good idea?

I am sure your gyn could do a saline sonogram just fine. Where you want to be careful is when it comes to potentially being prescribed Clomid (though I don't know if that is likely to be suggested given that you have not historically had challenges becoming pg). If that is suggested high tail it to an RE for monitoring. Regarding the fibroid, in my experience gyns and mfms do not distinguish between the different types of fibroids. Their approach seems to be "wait, monitor, and see." 2 of the 3 types of fibroids are not likely to cause an issue with pregnancy (and they account for about 95% of fibroids) which is probably why gyns and mfms do not react much to the knowledge that there is a fibroid. Submucosal fibroids, on the other hand, can act like IUDs and prevent an egg from implanting or can rob nutrients from an egg and cause it's demise. Therefore I suggest if they do confirm a fibroid that you find out the type and seek the opinion of an RE.

The long and the short of it is: OBs specialize in making sure you deliver a healthy baby, MFMs make sure you navigate a difficult pregnancy as safely as possible, and REs specialize in getting people who are having fertility challenges pregnant.

CC1017 · January 2015

Thanks @meredithcarole‌ that was really helpful!

peregrinefalconx · January 2015

I'm a few days late on this one, but I just wanted to add in that the issue may not have been with your OB, but with the Maternal and Fetal Health person. I was referred to a high risk OBGYN (like another poster here) by my OB. HOWEVER, the very learned receptionist indicated to me that I did not need High Risk, but rather the MFH specialist. I did an hour long consult prior to having another pregnancy due to a non-RE issue. We discussed everything at length. So it sounds like your doc was not helpful mostly in explaining his/her role in a pregnancy, even if they could offer nothing in forms of advice/treatment. You would end up at the MFH with another pregnancy, as your bicornate would qualify as high risk. And many over 35 end up at high risk purely bc of age.

Good luck and sorry you got a bad doc!

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