The waiting game= PCOS + 2 Miscarriages + IUI + Clomid (loss mentioned and child mentioned)

poorvis · January 2015

Please forgive me in advance, I'm a total newbie to this, along with ANY form of online discussion writing...

I'm finding the waiting game to be much harder than I thought and to keep myself from going crazy, I'm reaching out to you guys for support. For starters, I used to be a teen mom- I currently have only one biological child that's 18 year old. Since being a teen mom, I raised my son, put myself though grad school and got married. I have now been TTC again for over a year and 2014 has been rough. I was diagnosed with PCOS in June and began the atrocity that is known as Metformin.

Surprisingly, I got pregnant shortly after but then miscarried one week after a BFP. No biggie, I thought, and chalked it up to fate. But then, the weird psychology of 'you want what you cant have' set in. And the baby obsession roller-coaster began. First, for me, the Metformin initiation process was worse than my sorority hazing days. It was humiliating and made me feel scared to leave my home after dinner in fear of having an accident. So naturally, I quit taking the meds in Sept. A visit with my RE got me back on it for October and, lo and behold, by Thanksgiving, I'm pregnant again!

Okay, I was going to make sure everything was right for this one. I took my meds, ate less carbs and cut out all toxins. And then- I miscarried again a week after my BFP. This loss was tough because both me and my sister had our BFP's together. We celebrated and I secretly imagined how awesome it would be have doctor appointments together and etc. After my loss, it hurt to talk to her, it hurt to be happy for her while I was so worried/hurt myself. I mean what if I never keep a pregnancy ever again!? But- I'm better now. And honestly, I am excited for her- her bursts of excitement during her pregnancy milestones sometimes really burn, but I'm okay with this loss. I just really don't know about my mental status if I were to have another loss.

I researched a lot and began Myo Inositol supplements after the November loss and I must say- NO CYSTS! Nope, not even a small baby one this December! My RE suggested she monitor and time my pregnancy this time rather than me conceiving on my own. I agreed.

She (my RE) started me on 150mg clomid this cycle for days 3-7. I had two mature follicles and received a trigger shot yesterday and an IUI today afternoon. DH soldiers were good, they had a motility of 4/4 after being washed and had a count of 67 million. I was asked to BD again tonight to increase my chances of twinning (my personal preference).

And so, here we are! I'm biting my nails and counting down the days until I see my RE again (Jan 15). Any words of wisdom? Anyone out there been through something similar to shine light on anything? I'm terrified I will lose another baby and the statistics behind 2 losses is grim.

Thanks ladies. Happy new years! Off I go to have a carb-free-veggie and alcohol free NYE!!!

BunnyBerry · January 2015

First of all, please read the Newbie Blog (the "read this before posting" thread), which explains why you need to edit this discussion's title to include *child mentioned* and *loss mentioned*.

I am so sorry for your losses. Hopefully with monitoring the cycle your RE will be able to find and solve any issues that may be leading to early miscarriage.

Yay for healthy lifestyle choices, and for great sperm numbers!

(BDing after IUI is just to get more swimmers there to insure great timing and up chances of conception. How many times sperm is deposited into the body does not decide how many eggs fertilize. With a trigger shot, almost for sure they will both ovulate at just about the same time, about 36 hours after the shot.)

poorvis · January 2015

Thanks, just edited it and read the newbie thread.

LindseyM2012 · January 2015

Hello and welcome. I'm sorry you have to be here and I am so very sorry for your losses. It took me a cycle or two to fully buy in to taking 7 or 8 pills a day, every day, consistently. Sometimes the angry reaction to IF treatments can cause people to bulk against the protocol. But it sounds like you've bought in and are moving forward. Good luck with this IUI! Hopefully you won't have to be here long.

bookworm40 · January 2015

Welcome. So sorry for your losses. Good luck going forward.

deelopi9 · January 2015

Hi and welcome! I am so sorry for your losses. Although I do not have experience with losses, I wanted to say good luck. Trouble TTC a sibling may also be a good board. Hope your stay with us is a short one.