So when discussing boy names with my boyfriend we agreed we both want the middle name to be Frederick. It's his dad's FN and my dad's MN. We couldn't decide on a first name. I ran through the list of biblical FNs I liked and he wasn't crazy about any of them. Then I remembered his mother's maiden name is Gray. So I suggested Grayson Frederick. All of the sudden he bursts out in tears and can't speak. Once he calmed down he told me his cousin was pregnant a few years ago and was in a bad car accident. She was 34 weeks pregnant with a baby boy they had planned on naming Grayson and lost him due to the accident. I had NO clue...and felt terrible. It's eating at me though, I really REALLY like the name. I'm wondering if it would be okay to use the name and somehow it'd be in honor of her lost baby? On a side note, she lives two states away and he is not really close with her, but we would ask her first if she was okay with it...not that I have any clue how I would ask her. TIA for your opinions.
I thought you were going to say he cried because he loved the name so much. It sounds like he cried because the name brought back sad feelings so I would definitely not want to use the name and you two can find a better name than Grayson anyway.
I thought you were going to say he cried because he loved the name so much. It sounds like he cried because the name brought back sad feelings so I would definitely not want to use the name and you two can find a better name than Grayson anyway.
He said he cried because he was shocked I just plucked that one out of thin air. He did say he loved the name though.
Thanks ladies. I think in my gut I knew it just can't happen. Off to figure out the backup names. I don't like Frederick as a FN... My dad is a Jr and my brother is a 3rd. Grandfather goes by Rod (FN Rodney), my dad goes by Rick and my brother by Ricky. It's too much.
Based on his reaction it seems to still be a touchy thing, so I wouldn't! It might be too difficult for some of his family members as well! You don't want people thinking of sad, painful memories when it comes to your baby, I wouldn't think anyway.
Love Frederick for the mn!! But I'd definitely try to come up with a different fn
It would be one thing if you knew about the baby and chose to use the name to honor him. But to spin it after the fact is a bad idea. Use it as inspiration for a name with a similar feel
I wouldn't use it. But that is just me. There was a name I absolutely loved throughout my whole pregnancy, and I ended up using a different name that I loved towards the end. I don't regret not using that first name.
Keep searching....you will find something else that you both love
Re: Can I use a name...
TTC since September 2012
Love Frederick for the mn!! But I'd definitely try to come up with a different fn