Ten Things Tuesday

ball.and.chain · December 2014

Show me some things...

JGY · December 2014

ball.and.chain said:

Show me some things...

Demanding.

I love it.

1. Ultrasound today. Chattering teeth.

2. Last night was the first of 5 nights this week that I'll be flying solo with G and the animals. It did NOT go well. I did, however, get into bed by 9:30pm and completely ignored dishes/laundry/other chores. Go me.

3. G is in a serious no-bath phase. I have not had the energy to challenge him. So it's been a while since he's been cleaned and now I'm afraid he's the stinky kid in class. I told S, TONIGHT! He gets a bath tonight, come hell or high water.

4. I have one employee at work who is a total a-hole. There has been talk amongst the managers about moving him to a different position at which point he wouldn't report to me any longer. I have to admit that the prospect of that has made me give up a little bit. We just had our monthly (yes, only once a month) 1 on 1 meeting and it only lasted 15 minutes. I did most of the talking. I know this is unacceptable, but I just can't muster the strength to put in more effort today. I will work on this.

5. I came upon a bit of good news yesterday. Every so often I search the real estate listings for the area where our rental property is located. Typically there is nothing comparable to our place on the market (we have a move-in ready 2+br/2ba with tons of updates, most of the surrounding properties are forclosures and/or are trashed). But yesterday I saw a number of houses listed that are in great shape and being offered for a decent asking price. It would be SO GREAT to be able to offload this house. Right now we are renting it for full mortgage price, but little things keep cropping up here and there and we don't have any extra coming in to cover those. Fingers crossed this is our year to sell!

6. It is SO COLD here today. It was 0 this morning when I took G to daycare. I know this is the hazard of living in MN, but after 20 years I'm still not used to it.

7. My a capella group from college is talking about a reunion during the annual college reunion this June. I am unreasonably excited about this. I know that it's not likely that some of my besties would be able to make it (living in Norway, UK, France) but even a chance to see those who remained local would be awesome. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too far.

8. See above about singing reunion, I feel like this would be an opportunity to step back into a world where JGY exists as something other than G's Mom. Don't get me wrong, being G's Mom is a role I would never wish away - I love it. But I feel like so much of who I am outside of that has been put on permanent hold (gladly) and it would be great to revisit that person even if just for a weekend.

9. In honor of #8, I will make sure my last two things are about anything other than my kid or being a Mom. Let's see ... oooh, ooh, I successfully argued my way out of bogus parking ticket on Sunday. I was pretty proud of myself. I brought documentation out to the officer and asked him to please check in with his dispatcher to clarify the parking rules before he incorrectly ticketed anyone else in the neighborhood. He agreed to do so and then even admitted that he'd been wrong! Of course he wasn't able to rip up the ticket (stupid rules to prevent bribery and all), but I was pretty excited when I emailed his dispacher yesterday who actually responded and agreed to take care of it for me!

10. Hey another reunion thing ... my rugby club is having a "History Day" later this month. I know they'd love to have all the alums there, but I honestly don't think they'll get any out of staters to fly home for it. But again, even having a chance to get all the local alums in one place makes me really happy and reminds me of who I used to be (and still am, somewhere in there).

Have a great week, everyone!

ball.and.chain · December 2014

@JGY‌ well things are boring here at work. I literally need your things to occupy myself.

Was thinking about your u/s this morning. Hope all goes well! Full report needed.

Jazibel · December 2014

1. Ok I'm going to take a page out of @JGY's book and not do all my TTT about my kiddos. There was more to me at one point... I'm almost sure of it.

2. EV was running late to work this morning we slept until 7:10ish. Anyway she came into the kitchen half an hour later all disheveled and not yet showered and my heart skipped a beat as I asked if she was working from home. Alas she's not, but I really have come to enjoy having her around. One of our goals in the next 5 years or so is to create a life where we could both work from home (running our own enterprises, consulting, etc.) I know we would still work, and probably more than 40 hours a week, but I'd love to see her face around more.

3. EV and love talking about our life before kids, we revisit places we've traveled, hobbies we had, activities we did. Sometimes I get nervous that the years will keep slipping past and I will only have things to share that happened before 2012-2013...

4. Rg. #3, I don't mean to complain, I am eternally grateful. It's just how odd life looks before and after kids.

5. I miss having a spiritual practice, meditating for instance. Every time I sit still for more than 30 seconds I get so antsy. Maybe I should add that to my 2015 goals.

6. My brother & sister in law have an annual goal list on the wall in their bathroom. I think I will do something similar. I want to remember what my priorities are, and what I'm working toward. It's been so easy to get wrapped up in all the little things that I often forget what the bigger picture should be.

7. I love reading, I did my undergrad in foreign languages & literature and yet I have read maybe 8-9 books in the past couple of years. I bought the Mazerunner series for some light/easy reading but haven't made it past page 5 yet.

8. I love that Kaden is finally starting to get into art projects. Yesterday we painted on dinosaur statues. Today I want to dig some other art projects out and spend some time playing with clay, or using stamps.

9. We're looking at maybe meeting my folks in San Diego in February or March. It's only a days drive for them from Tucson, and not too bad for us either. We'd likely try and combine it with a visit to our friends in LA. Maybe we should include a trip to Disney? Of course where the finances are going to come from is still up in the air. We'll see.

10. We did a catering gig over a week ago and our client has yet to pay us, and hasn't returned my calls or emails. I'm not really sure how to navigate the situation. I don't want to sound desperate (and we have a little working capital in the bank now from our December gigs). But we're still a new, small company and we spent our own money on linen rentals,food, etc. It's my fault I should have collected a deposit - but it was a last minute request and I didn't follow the procedures that I set up. Haha - lesson learned...

KH826 · December 2014

1. Roofer just left. We need a whole new roof. They are starting work tomorrow. There goes 65% of our savings. In an instant. 2. Not sure yet what this means for a new (to us) car... It probably means it isn't happening. Which makes me very uneasy. 3. I also feel TTC#2 slipping further from our grasp... 4. I'm pretty devastated about money right now. I'm sorry. 5. This "vacation" has sucked. Between travel to/from my mom's in Mass, other holiday visits and travel, the car situation, now the roof... I am stressed and anxious and feel like I am not even remotely enjoying my time off from work with my family... 6. I'm sorry this is such a downer post. And sorry I haven't been posting as regularly the last week and a half... I'm honestly just overwhelmed. 7. I haven't had the urge to stress eat in a long time, but right now I want to eat something bad for me... 8. William is napping on my chest right now. I love this child so much. I just want to do the right things for him and our little family.... I worry I will never get it right and we will always be a mess financially. 9. The roofer really irritated me - he called my cell phone from up on top of my roof to tell me how awful the situation was and was going on and on about it and I had to cut him off and say "ok, I get it. It's bad. Please get off the rough and come talk to me in person about what our options are." ... Then he wanted mad to cone outside and walk around the house with him while he pointed at things... J wasn't home and I was holding Will... Ummm...no, that's not necessary. Just tell me what we need to do! Ugh.... I'm not a drinker, but I need a drink. And it is only a little after noon... Haha 10. I will be stalking for JGY's u/s results!!! Can't wait! And this was all written on my iPad so it might post as a giant paragraph with no space breaks - sorry!

redrockmama · December 2014

1. Today is my only day at work this week, wahoo!

2. J wanted to take her brother and his gf snowboarding for our christmas gift to them. I told her I would have to stay home. She said we could have someone watch M. I reminded her that I would still have to pump and how impossible that would be at the resort. She still decided to do it. I'm happy she gets to go have fun on the slopes with them, but I'm kind of bummed she chose to do something I can't do too.

3. J's great grandma passed away yesterday. We are driving back to her hometown sometime on Friday and staying over Friday night. I'm ridiculously nervous about how sleeping away from home will be for us with M.

4. Our awesome nanny is going to house and dog sit for us so that we can go, I seriously don't know what we'd do without her.

5. Question for the group. How often do you travel to see family that live 3ish hours away?

6. I can't believe how fast this year went. I wish there was a good way to make time slow down. I want to find a way to enjoy life more and not have it so focused on working to live.

7. I'm sorry @KH826 hugs to you. I don't know how we'd even deal with something like that if it came up, finances are so stressful.

8. I'm so tired, I need to figure out a way to make just one cup of coffee at work....

9. My mom wants to start watching M on wed afternoons (when our nanny isn't available) at first I thought it would be great. Now I'm worried that she won't physically be able to do it. M is a demanding kiddo and she just isn't healthy enough. I have visions of her dropping him and him screaming all afternoon because she won't be able to be active enough for him. I am worried to tell her this. I don't think it will go over well.

10. Christmas at my mom's house was a disaster. J is fed up with my family and my mom. It is frustrating for me too. I don't know what the best solution is, but I think next year we might just have to piss people off and put our little family first.

ball.and.chain · December 2014

1. Work. Is. So. Slow. Good thing I'm taking tomorrow off.

2. On a related note, I took tomorrow off because B's daycare is only open until noon. But I forgot to tell daycare he wasn't coming, so they were planning on having him. We have to pay either way, so I figured I might as well send him and get a morning to myself, and now I'm super excited about the unexpected Momma time.

3. Just bought B a hook-on chair and some solid-feeding accoutrements with a BRU gift card he got for Xmas. Looking forward to his big boy chair, especially since we'll be traveling right after it comes.

4. B tried his second food yesterday -- oatmeal. Smashing success but he REALLY wants to do it himself.

5. Our roof is getting fixed right now. I'm so glad it's getting done before any significant winter storms have hit us. I'm not glad we have to pay for it with money I was hoping to use for a treadmill. Alas. Homeownership.

6. I've been stuck on #6 for about an hour. Clearly I have a lot going on today.

7. OK, I've decided I want to reach my goal weight by summer 2016, when I have to be a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding (she's not officially engaged yet but that's their plan). It helps me to have a specific time in mind but it's also nice that it's not right around the corner. If I can lose 85 lbs in 2 years I should be able to lose 60 in 18 months...right? Yeah, we'll see. It's not about whether I "can," it's about whether I will.

8. I went on my lunch break, found a shirt I wanted for B on clearance at Macy's, and discovered my wallet was in my office.

9. Chicken chili verde for lunch with queso fresco. It's nice when I bring something I actually want to eat.

10. Treat time!

ball.and.chain · December 2014

@KH826‌ see my #5! I was really nervous we would need a whole new roof and feel super lucky we aren't there...yet. I feel your pain and wish yours could be fixed rather than replaced. At least replacing it now could maybe prevent a more costly disaster? FX this is the last expensive thing you two have to pay for for a while.

doodah1013 · December 2014

1. I love being home from work with my wife and baby H! I am already stressed about going back...

2. Sometimes I feel like we are just playing "house" and this is too good to be true.

3. I am having a really hard time writing Hay's birth story. It was such an intense, amazing, perfect experience, I am not sure words do it justice.

4. Our dogs have not eaten our baby! We were so nervous about it... And they are doing great!

5. We thought our donor had run out of vials and I had a mini panic. It turns that he had just been taken off the website because there are new testing standards. He has over 40 vials left, so we are deciding if we we want to purchase and store or just take chances he will be available when we start trying for #2. (Which is not going to be soon, but we just want to be prepared!)

6. Christmas was awesome! Very chill.

7. My parents are coming this weekend. I am nervous about it...

8. I miss being pregnant- didn't see that one coming.

9. I got the home preserving book by ball for Christmas and I can't wait to start making things!

10. I know how hard the holidays can be for those who experienced losses, and those who are still in the TTC game. Last year, after a heartbreaking year of TTC, we spent Christmas watching horror movies and working a jigsaw puzzle. I hope everyone found some happiness in the holidays, and if not happiness, the bravery to get through. We are always thinking about you all!

JGY · December 2014

@kh826 - Oh man, do I know exactly how you feel?? Yes, yes I do. The exact same thing happened to us 3 years ago and please let me give you some info so you can learn from my mistakes!

I was desperate. Our roof was leaking, it was like December 21st or something, and we were leaving the next day to go to NYC for the holidays.

1. Get a second opinion and a second bid if at all possible.

2. Ask if there is any way to avoid having the new roof installed in winter. Be creative. Ask them to be creative. Can they tarp it and get you through until Spring?

3. If you decide to move forward witih the new roof now, google the hell out of the roofing company. Use Angie's List (beg borrow or steal online access from a friend if you have to) for reviews. Send out a request for references on a local listserv if you have one.

4. Ask if they use their own employees for the installation or if they subcontract out the work. If they subcontract the work, make sure that they have a project manager who will be onsite each day to check what's actually being done.

5. Make sure they are heating the shingles prior to application.

6. Request that they take pictures of all of the work that they do (especially if they have to replace any rotted decking, which is typical). Most reputable companies will take photos, but you don't want to be caught without them.

7. This should have been number 3, but think about getting an estimate for a metal roof instead of classic shingles. It will cost more, but it will be the last roof you ever need to get. Oh wait, you're planning on moving. Forget that.

8. PM me if you need to vent or have any questions. And know that I'm sending huge hugs your way. House and money stuff are not easy, and the pressure you feel is immense and paralyzing sometimes. But you're doing a great job, girl!

JGY · December 2014

@redrockmama - We have no family local to us. We do our best to travel to each side of the family (Indiana and NY/CT) 1 to 2 times per year. We usually take a summer trip to each place, and then we alternate holidays. Occassionally one side of the family will come to us for a holiday (my fam come out to us for Thanksgiving this year), but most years it means 4 trips with the little man.

I know our situation is different since we have to fly every time, but I thought it might help anyway. If we had family within 3 hours driving distance, we'd probably go at least 4 times a year. We'd make sure to leave at bedtime for each drive.

Hope that helps!

StacyLH24 · December 2014

1. I came to a client's house who was very particular about the date of my visit. She isn't home... I called and she said she would be here in 10-15 minutes. I ended that visit with the husband coming into the kitchen in just a shirt and underwear.

2. My visit with the chiropractor went well. She adjusted my pelvis, entire back and neck. Who knew I needed all of that?!? Also, she said that my right leg is about a half inch shorter than my left and that I am otherwise crooked. I go back Monday for another appointment.

3. So the RE (not mine) who did my u/s this morning couldn't find my left ovary. He tried really hard but alas, it did not show. I didn't really appreciate how hard he was trying to find it. I hope this isn't going to continue. It has been difficult to find before, but has always ended up being found. He thinks that stimming will help. I'm also hoping that my pelvis adjustment helps.

4. Transvag ultrasounds wouldn't be so bad if they weren't always hunting down that left ovary. Sometimes (like today) I want to not so gently remind them that that dang wand can only go in so far.

5. I did get the official go ahead to start stimming on Friday. 450 iu of Gonal-F and 10 units of diluted HCG. Let's get this party started!

6. @KH826 - I'm so sorry about your roof! I second @JGY in getting a second opinion. I also would push the metal roof if that was going to be your forever home.

7. As I typed the work "get" in #5, it came out fet which I let autocorrect. Funny enough, it autocorrected to "FET".

8. I have an awesome Christmas gift from my Mom to post in the Christmas thread. I need to clean off our kitchen table so that I can set it up and snap some pics. Maybe tonight...

9. C got me a glass bottle that I wanted. I have one for cold beverages only, but I love me some hot tea! I found one that is insulated and can hold hot and cold beverages. I love it!

10. I ate chicken flavored Ramen noodles with corn for dinner last night. I need to get my sh*t together on this whole nutritious food thing. Knowing how to eat well and doing it are definitely two different things.

KH826 · December 2014

@JGY - thank you so much for all of that advice! So I did get 3 bids today... Also, our situation is a little different. We have a flat roof on our 200 year old house. It is not a shingled roof. The roof itself is a few large pieces which are cemented on and then sealed. It is a one day job, since the area is not that large. With that being said, it is still many, many thousands of dollars. We are jumping and using the company with the most competitive bid b/c they can do the job tomorrow. If we wait we are going to have issues since we are forecast to have wind and rain this weekend. Moisture is getting in already and we don't want mold! At any rate, I did lots of research today. You know, after I cried it out a little haha!

J and I also had a good talk about finances and we are both very committed to finding a way to TTC #2 in the spring/summer. We have several things we plan to do starting in January to save money, and I am hopeful we can make it work.

I am lucky that we have the money for the roof. It is savings I didn't want to spend on something other than a new house or a baby, but it's ok. Everything happens for a reason.

Oh, and we are hanging onto J's car for a while. We went and got a third opinion from a mechanic we trust and we replaced the battery and gave it a full tune up. We won't be taking it long distances and hope to trade it within a year, but it is running fine now and passed inspection, so we will keep it as an around town car until we can build our savings back up some more...

Well that's my life update for the night lol

2MamazInSeattle · December 2014

Oh @KH826, I'm sorry about your roof!!

1. Today I found myself in Gymboree. In the sale bin, there was a "Baby's First Christmas" Onesie, size18-24 months. Think about that for a moment, as clearly someone else wasn't.

2. OMG so for us to be in the best $ situation possible, we should ideally transfer & birth #2 in the same calendar year...and to avoid a near-Christmas birthday, that means a March transfer. Which means cycle start in February. Which means I'd TTCing in 4 weeks. What. The. <ahem>. I'm not sure I'm ready for this!!

3. J reminds me this was my idea. And says "tick tock" a lot.

4. Our house remodel got the kibosh.

For now - we are looking at some alternatives and believe we can make it happen but it may be in a different way. Building up will not allow the 7'6" ceiling required for code; we could try to get an exemption or do an entire 2nd floor (twice the price, a tough pill to swallow). Another option is jacking the house up and finishing the basement into a rentable/AirBNB space (discount for bumpies!) - which would pay for itself and give us money to eventually do an upstairs. Ug - none of these are ideal or easy decisions. I try to remind myself in 3rd world countries our house would have three families + living in it, even though it is only 1000 sq ft.

5. @redrockmama We use the Merlin Magic Sleep suit too. I wouldn't say it's been magic in terms of STTN, but it's a great solution for us to move her out of her swaddle and not worry about rolling over. And it's warm. And she looks funny in it.

6. I'm sad to take down (Simone's first) our Christmas tree.

7. OMG I shoulda led with this...yesterday our Nanny slated for a Monday start QUIT. But, I solved it in 4 hours - yes, that is right folks. I had just gifted and item on neighborhood Buy Nothing FB site to a woman I noticed had offered ER nannying on another neighborhood page. I noticed we had 4 mutual friends and we were chatting and I asked if she had nannied in the past (she had) and would she be interested in a 2 days a week gig (she would). She came over at 2 p.m. and we were agreed by 3:30. Phew - and she's 5 blocks away! We also have 1 day a week at the daycare we're hoping to eventually get 3 days at. I actually feel much better about this arrangement.

8. I go back to work Monday. I'm sad, and I'm happy. I will miss Simone, but J said I am clearly bored and not SAHM material. I suppose she is right...

9. My job is going away/changing and I'm only really guaranteed my same role until end of our fiscal year (June 30) then something has to change...which could be good or scary! I just want to have work/life balance which isn't a sure thing at the big M.

10. I've scored some awesome baby and toddler toys on my Buy Nothing FB group lately! Simone will be set!

redrockmama · December 2014

@2MamazInSeattle‌ your #1 made me.lol. One time many years ago when my sister was pregnant, my mom and I saw a "my first Christmas" in a 4t. I laughed for days about it. There are certainly situations where it could apply, but it was hilarious.

@JGY‌ thanks for the input. Sometimes I feel bad for not visiting J's family more, but it's hard, especially with dogs that are hard to find sitters for. We are about to make it twice in two weeks, so I will stop feeling bad.

JGY · December 2014

@redrockmama - Yes, dogs (and cats) add an entirely different dynamic to the equation. I totally understand. Do stop feeling badly about it. Do what you can, and do it with your full heart.

ball.and.chain · December 2014

@redrockmama, my ILs are 4-5 hours away and we usually visit twice a year. In addition, they also come up 1-2x a year. It's hard for us because my wife doesn't have weekends off (she works Sundays) so we can't just go down for the weekend which would be doable if she had a M-F job. It involves her taking vacation time etc. If her job was M-F, I could see us visiting more often, but probably not more than 4x a year?

Regarding the sleepsuit, I do think it helps B but it isn't magic (despite the name, ha) and does not automatically equal sleeping through the night for him. On good nights he sleeps from between 6-7 to around 1, bottle, then back down until 6-7. On bad nights there are a few more wake-ups. For sure he was a more reliable sleeper in our bed (the "good nights" schedule was pretty much every night), but then he was getting snuggled all night so it makes sense to me that that would help more than the sleepsuit does. All in all I think that if he is going to be in his crib rather than in our bed, he sleeps better in the sleepsuit than not. But it's not (and he's not) perfect. Always a process.

redrockmama · December 2014

Thanks for the IL and sleep feedback. I didn't expect him to sleep through the night, just found it odd that he'll sleep alone for the first 3-4 hours and then he just won't. You're right though, its all a process and one day we'll get there. He also has a bit of a cold so I'm hoping that might have something to do with it.
Last night J took him the 2nd time he woke up after I tried to nurse him back to sleep and he just played for 2 hours. Silly baby.

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