Failed BFing first time, questions for second try

melissa721 · December 2014

Hey ladies. When I tried BFing my DD in 2012, I produced ZERO milk. Like I would pump for 40 mins and get less than an ounce. At no point did my milk come in, I never felt engorged, I never leaked, nothing. My sister and aunt both had the same issues when they tried BFing so no one really had any advice for me. I tried using a SNS but at 3am with one eye open, whoTF has time or patience for that? Eventually, we went straight to formula.

I do want to give this another try when I give birth this spring. But I also feel like this issue is beyond my control. How do you make your body produce something that it just won't produce?

Has anyone else experienced this and had success the second time around? Any advice? I don't want to go through the guilt and crying about failing all over again. It took me a while to get pregnant with this LO and I want to enjoy him when he's here. So I feel like I need to be ready with a plan to give myself the best chance of success.

JenLy2012 · December 2014

Did you ever try supplements or natural ways to increase supply the first time around? I had issues too but not to the extent of what you dealt with. I would pump some and did nurse until DD1 was 18 months but had to supplement with formula start at 2 weeks. Sucks and I completely understand the guilt. What did you do the first time around if anything?

melissa721 · December 2014

JenLy2012 said:

Did you ever try supplements or natural ways to increase supply the first time around? I had issues too but not to the extent of what you dealt with. I would pump some and did nurse until DD1 was 18 months but had to supplement with formula start at 2 weeks. Sucks and I completely understand the guilt. What did you do the first time around if anything?

I didn't do anything. I was in the midst of reading The Womanly Art of BFing when I found out at a Dr. appt. three weeks before my due date I needed a C-section that day. At that point, I had no time to finish the book or look into other resources. And after having a newborn, I was so overwhelmed and sad my body didn't just "work" right, that I never really got the chance to look into anything. I admit that I might have given up too easily. But when your baby is hungry...

I know now that I think oatmeal increases supply as well as Fenugreek...but really how much can it do? Should I eat oatmeal prior to giving birth? Will it make a difference?

JenLy2012 · December 2014

melissa721 said:

JenLy2012 said:

Did you ever try supplements or natural ways to increase supply the first time around? I had issues too but not to the extent of what you dealt with. I would pump some and did nurse until DD1 was 18 months but had to supplement with formula start at 2 weeks. Sucks and I completely understand the guilt. What did you do the first time around if anything?

I didn't do anything. I was in the midst of reading The Womanly Art of BFing when I found out at a Dr. appt. three weeks before my due date I needed a C-section that day. At that point, I had no time to finish the book or look into other resources. And after having a newborn, I was so overwhelmed and sad my body didn't just "work" right, that I never really got the chance to look into anything. I admit that I might have given up too easily. But when your baby is hungry...
I know now that I think oatmeal increases supply as well as Fenugreek...but really how much can it do? Should I eat oatmeal prior to giving birth? Will it make a difference?

I am not judging at all! I completely agree that you have to do what you have to do when your baby is hungry! I went straight to formula when DD wasn't gaining weight so I am not saying you should have held out at all. Feeding your baby is the most important thing regardless of formula or breast milk.

I tried so many things to get my supply to increase and there was some things that worked. I went from pumping 4 ounces a time to 9 which to me was significant. I don't think just eating oatmeal will do anything especially before you give birth since that is just an aid to production. I tried a lot of supplements that had fenugreek in it. I did Motherlove More Milk Plus, Go Lacta and Gaia. The one that I saw the most increase with was Gaia and I could only find it on Amazon. I would take those along with eating oatmeal with flax, drinking Mother's Milk Tea, and pumping after breast feeding. There are recipes for lactation cookies that taste amazing and can increase supply. Does your hospital have lactation consultants? They are great to tap into before you discharge. I am going to stock up on these things just to be prepared plus I plan on pumping right away. Last time I waited until I knew there was an issue. Hoping this time around I can be as proactive as I can.

rovingminstrel · December 2014

I think the c/s could be a big part of it. I had almost your same experience - it was horrible! All the c/s meds get to you and the baby, you're exhausted, and your body sometimes doesn't even realize it had its baby, so the milk production hormones don't kick in. Add in stress, no sleep, and a newborn, and it can be the perfect storm. :-( I switched to formula when my 2wk old hadn't reached birth weight, I was chugging Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle, and I was pumping maybe 1/8 oz after each feeding. But I'm now bfing my 2nd, who's a chunky 4mo old! I talked to the LC at 34wks, and she gave me this advice: milk usually increases with 2nd babies, so don't start out discouraged! In Europe it is becoming more popular to pump (once a day, no more than 5 mins) starting no sooner than 37wks. (This is only ok if you've never had preterm labor. I was able to do it b/c I knew nipple stimulation does absolutely NOTHING to strengthen my contractions.) She also said to do skin-to-skin as soon as baby was born, then to nurse before anything else. If baby takes longer than an hour to latch, give it a break and pump/express (you can ask for a hospital pump as early as Triage...) - then spoon feed the colostrum you get to baby. Feed baby every 2hrs, then, and pump after each time - it's basically tricking your body into thinking you have twins.

That said, I think this route is pretty difficult and relatively radical. I did as much as I could b/c bfing was really important to me - turned out I got 2oz of colostrum over 2wks of pumping before DS came (which is still sitting in my freezer...), and when he came as a surprise Vbac, he latched like a miracle and made birthweight after 10 days with no pumping. So - it's possible!! But also know that you're no less a woman or mom for using formula. I felt worthless switching to bottles. You need to know that it's OK. It's really ok to use formula - you're still caring for your baby the best way you can. Good luck, Mamma!

blue_elle · December 2014

To add to what others said, there's also prescriptions that can help production. I *think* domperidone has been used to help women whose milk hasn't come in, but it's been a while since I read up on it. Something you can talk to a lactation consultant about if you might have interest in trying that route if the need arose.

melissa721 · December 2014

You guys this has been SO helpful. Thank you so much!!

harmonicbabe26 · December 2014

The right answer to this is 'only time will tell' and if you want to BF then give it another try.

I was just like you. My boobs didn't grow much during pregnancy, my mom and sister didn't have 100% supply and had to supplement, so I'm thinking there is something genetic there.
BUT I did everything possible to increase my supply, from skin to skin, nursing every feed then supplementing, then pumping after every feed and power pumping in the pm. I also ate oatmeal, flax, took several herbs, teas AND domperidone. And nothing worked to get my supply to 100%. But I continued to partially BF till DD1 was 7-8 months old bc I wanted her to get SOME breastmilk.

With this baby, I was fully prepared to do it again, stocked up on herbs etc, but also got a drawer full of formula samples to be ready.

And then shock of shocks - I am actually making what my baby needs! I am still eating oatmeal and taking herbs just to be on the safe side...

So you never know. It can absolutely work the 2nd time around. They say that your body is more prepaired, that it's kind of like muscle memory...
But I also know cases where it did not work. A friend of mine who has 4 kids had a similar experience with low supply and for her it just didn't work and each time she BFed less and less...and she had a nanny and housekeeper to help with the other kids...

Oh fwiw, csection has nothing to do with supply. I had csections with both my kids and my experience with each was... Well read above. I also have friends who had csections and had massive oversupplies so not related really.

Good luck and remember it's worth a try if it's important to you.

blacktie3 · December 2014

melissa721 said:

You guys this has been SO helpful. Thank you so much!!

It could totally just happen also. Every pregnancy is different! I know ladies that didn't have problems with 1 child but had them with the 2nd or visa versa!

Good Luck!

eggmankate · December 2014

I was just curious at what point you were pumping for 40 minutes and got less than an ounce? In the first week or two I would expect that. I guess I don't know when I'd expect more in the early weeks I wouldn't expect to get that much.

My LC told me that what happens in the 1st pregnancy is not indicative of what will happen in the subsequent pregnancies. What matters more is if you have the chance to do skin to skin immediately after birth and continue skin to skin for the first few weeks. Undress the baby for every nursing session to get that skin to skin. When you're resting put LO skin to skin. Nurse nurse nurse--just constantly put baby to the breast. Those first few weeks are so critical for establishing supply.

melissa721 · December 2014

eggmankate said:

I was just curious at what point you were pumping for 40 minutes and got less than an ounce? In the first week or two I would expect that. I guess I don't know when I'd expect more in the early weeks I wouldn't expect to get that much.

My LC told me that what happens in the 1st pregnancy is not indicative of what will happen in the subsequent pregnancies. What matters more is if you have the chance to do skin to skin immediately after birth and continue skin to skin for the first few weeks. Undress the baby for every nursing session to get that skin to skin. When you're resting put LO skin to skin. Nurse nurse nurse--just constantly put baby to the breast. Those first few weeks are so critical for establishing supply.

Sorry, I just came back to this. It was all throughout those first 6-8 weeks.

melissa721 · January 2015

mananana said:

Another little thing that can make a big difference: did a LC check to see if your pump flanges were the right size? The ones that come with the Medela pump for instance tend to be too small for many mamas. I was lucky with pumping but got little to no milk when I tried to use the original pump flanges. Also, turning your pump up too high will cause you not to pump anything as it can cause your milk ducts to collapse. I read a lot about BFing beforehand and those were two things I didn't know until they happened to me. GL!

Yes, she switched me to the bigger ones. I had no idea about the milk ducts collapsing. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!

AmCheri · January 2015

@melissa721, thanks for posting this question! I was just about to start a similar thread, but then I saw your post. Our stories are a bit different, but I too am wondering whether I'll have a better chance the second time around.

I tried EBF for the first two months. My baby ended up dehydrated and was readmitted to the hospital after she lost 16% of her birth weight. We started supplementing immediately. I pumped at every feeding. Pumped in the middle of the night. Pumped probably 10-12 times a day. By four months, I gave up BFing and went to EP which I stayed with until she was 13 months. But I don't think I ever achieved 100% of what she needed in a single day, despite best efforts. Despite working with LCs. Despite all the supplements, prescriptions, you name it. I wonder if I have a fighting chance of a better supply this time? My DH already isn't supporting me even trying to BF again if that means I'll be hooked up to the pump all day.

rovingminstrel · January 2015

To AmCheri - My LC said mothers often have better supply with second babies, almost as if the body got some practice and knows what to do, now. I'd say go for it! And if it requires that much pumping again, discuss it then. But don't rule it out just b/c of how the first time went.

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