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Awkward conversations with Dr?

MSU_Girl1202MSU_Girl1202 member
edited December 2014 in TTC After a Loss
Hey ladies,
So, I went to an urgent care last night for antibiotics because it's been 5 days and I'm still feel like crap, and I had a really awkward conversation with her that MH thinks was perfectly normal...so I wanted to get your ladies opinions on this and see who else has had this happen.
On my intake form, I had to list previous surgeries, which for me is a D&C after my MC in April. When I went back to talk to the doctor about my fever, cough and sore throat, the first thing so said was "I'm so sorry about your MC...when was that? Was that your only one? Are you TTC still? Why do they thiink this is happening? What is the cause of your infertility?" Etc
I was kind of thrown off by that whole line of questioning since what I had come there for had absolutely nothing to do with my MCs or my infertility.
So I just wanted to see if this has happened to you ladies and if I'm out of line for being kind of upset that all she wanted to talk about was that.

ETA: Spelling...I'm terrible at typing on my phone!
Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d  
10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
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Re: Awkward conversations with Dr?

  • BookishMommaBookishMomma member
    This has happened to me at urgent care before when I was there for a UTI. I was actually really touched that the PA who was treating me cared enough to ask. I'm so used to having busy doctors who treat only what I tell them about and are out the door in 5 minutes. 
    image
    image
    DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser
    Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007
    BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11
    BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d
    BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d
    BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 
    BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d
    BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]
    In search of a image


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  • MSU_Girl1202MSU_Girl1202 member
    @bookishmama‌ : That's a nice way of looking at it. I just wish she had stopped after the first couple questions...she spent 10 min talking about that and about 2 talking about why I was actually there...
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d      
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
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  • Nikolie93Nikolie93 member
    I have no experience with this and I just recently went to urgent care twice in the last month. They didn't even ask me about my MC's.

    Like Bookish said, it's nice they take the time to ask but after harping on it and asking the questions they it would come across to me that the person was interested in MC's /infertility more than anything?

    I think I would feel awkward if they spent that much time on it.
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



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  • PinkCaminoPinkCamino member
    furrypaws said:
    Bookish has a much more positive take on this than I would have.
    This.

    I think it's inappropriate.

    I did have a similar conversation with an urgent care doctor when I went in for a UTI right after my SIS. I had to mention the SIS because I had it done 5 days earlier and I was pretty sure that was what caused the UTI. But, give you went in for cold/flu like symptoms - I don't think it was appropriate.
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  • sunflwrasunflwra member
    Agree with others that since it really has nothing to do with your purpose of being there, it was fine to ask the original question but shouldn't have been pushed beyond that.  So sorry that you had to deal with that.

    BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011

    BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident

    BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown

    To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.

     

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  • kreardon11kreardon11 member
    furrypaws said:
    Bookish has a much more positive take on this than I would have.
    Yup. 
    ________________________
    Married my partner in crime 06/11/11
    DH: 29, Me: 28
    Started TTC 10/01/2013
    BFP#1: 03/05/14 | EDD: 11/11/14 | MC: 04/10/14 | D&C 05/01/14 [Molar]
    BFP#2: 10/15/14 | EDD: 06/25/14 | MC: 12/02/14 | D&C 12/04/14 [MMC]
    Current Status: RE appt 01/20/15 & Cleared to TTC
    Plan: Baby Aspirin, More (raw) folate, PNP, Iron, diet
    DX: MTHFR hetero C677T, ANA+ Homogeneous, Anemia. Ige sensitivities: gluten, egg, dairy
    All AL Welcome<3
    “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”
    We will never forgot our angels<3


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  • katib77katib77 member
    edited December 2014
    My PCP did that - but I know her from being my doc for years so I didn't find it odd. A urgent care doc I would wonder if she too was having issues ttc and that the questions were because she's suffering and curious for real people to compare. Last dec before I miscarried I went to urgent care for a UTI amd got upset because the form and doc asked me my last month's period - but because I had done IVF then next month FET I didn't really have a normal answer and he made me feel like a freak of nature - so I have had that same feeling at urgent care of "why won't you just shut up about it?" (Hugs)
    Edit: darn big thumbs make it hard to text type

    TTC since July 2009. Dx MFI & LPD. 
    IUI#1&2&3 (2011 & 2012) BFN
    IUI#4 1/23/13 on 75iu x9 Follistim = BFP then chem preg m/c (Feb 2013)
    IUI#5 BFN (April 2013)
    IVF w/ICSI Oct. 2, 2012 - 13R, 11M, 7F, 1 frozen blast 4BB grade - - - FET Nov 15, 2013
    BFP! Beta 1:104 @ 10dp6dt, Beta 2:178 @ 12dp6dt,  beta 3:366 @ 14dp6dt
    Saw heartbeat twice before missed M/C at 8w3d on 12/27/13, missing my little angel boy
    JUNE 2014 IVF#2;  5R, 2M, 1F Three day transfer 6/7.  Beta 6/18 - BFN
    Child Free Now?
     S/PAIFW , S/PALW

    My Blog

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  • CC1017CC1017 member
    I'm with you. That sounds kind of weird to me.
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    BFP #1 DS born 10/16/12 at 39w6d
    BFP #2 DD lost 11/17/14 at 17w2d
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  • meredithcarolemeredithcarole member
    medic7979 said:

    My bet would be she's also had the experience of a MC or IF 

    I think this is what happened.  Was it appropriate?  No, not really, but it was nice for some acknowledgment in a way that you don't often get from healthcare providers who become numb to the losses.  
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

    image

      
    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
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  • ellebelle2384ellebelle2384 member
    I would understand if it was your PCP asking those questions since it would help update your medical record, but since it's an urgent care doc I think it's not appropriate to ask tons of questions about it.
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

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  • RachaeleighRachaeleigh member
    meredithcarole said:


    medic7979 said:

    My bet would be she's also had the experience of a MC or IF 


    I think this is what happened.  Was it appropriate?  No, not really, but it was nice for some acknowledgment in a way that you don't often get from healthcare providers who become numb to the losses.  

    This is exactly what I was thinking. She probably has experience, but still not appropriate

    4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
    All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal

    5 IUIs = BFN

    All AL are welcome
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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