July 2014 Moms

Vent...Stupid Girl

I'm not really expecting a response but I thought I'd vent here since my DH wasn't appropriately outraged.
My friend's son GF is pregnant and she is 26 weeks along. She just turned 18. Anyways she is afraid of getting fat so she isn't eating. She has only gained 2lbs so far. She has also only been to the doctor two times and she got upset last time she went at 15 weeks because her doctor got on her case and because he told her the baby was measuring behind. She hasn't had her anatomy scan yet and she isn't sure she wants to go back to the doctor before her baby is born. My friend was writing about this on Facebook and she didn't act like it was that big of a deal. All her friends were like, "girl gain weight...haha" "this is the time to get fat, etc." I just can't believe someone would be so selfish. I bet it won't be fun to raise a child with special needs because you don't feel like getting fat. I feel like CPS should be involved now. Who knows what kind of parent she will be. Anyways I knew I could vent here. Thanks for reading.

Re: Vent...Stupid Girl

  • edited December 2014
    I want to say its crazy but at the same time she is basically just a kid (I know there are some mature 18yr olds but she's not one of them). It is really scary because the health of the baby is at risk. Confused though, did your friend post about it and made it seem like it's not a big deal or the 18yr old made it seem like it's not a big deal. If your friend is not taking it serious about her grandchild I would try to get through to her - I can't imagine having to sit back and watch this train wreck and not say something. Hope they all get their shit together.


    Eta: mobile messed up my post
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    [ Zoey <3 7.28.14 ]
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  • My friend posted like it was no big deal. I don't know if she was trying to guilt the girl into feeling bad. It almost seemed like she was making it into a joke too. She kept saying I'm telling her to eat but she just refuses haha. We aren't super close so I'm afraid of saying something since I don't know how she will respond. I agree there are a few mature 18 year olds out there and I know this girl obviously isn't one of them.
  • Poor baby. :(  I hope she will change her mind and decide to continue to seek prenatal care.  It's so very important.  Maybe she has an eating disorder that's having an impact on this?  If you can find a way to diplomatically say something, you should.  Maybe it's not too late for the baby to get proper in-utero nutrition and develop into a perfectly healthy baby.

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  • Malnutrition may not be the cause, but measuring behind that early is rare. 

    the main risk isn't delays, much worse. My son was born at nearly 35 weeks just under 3 lbs, it was not an easy journey and because of his very low birth rate he may have long-term, lifetime consequences. 
  • darkangel42darkangel42 member
    edited January 2015
    JUST DELETE MY CONTENT
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    I'd be pissed.
    *SIGGY*
    Baby G born 6/6/14, 37 weeks 1 day due to preeclampsia.  5lb12oz 19"
    #2 due Christmas 2016. 





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  • Ugh, what a stupid little girl.  :(  It's hard to accept that these are some of the people our kids will be in school with - folks who put staying (?) thin above their baby's health.  :(
  • I would be tempted to report that girl to CPS. She is risking that child's health. Who gives a shit if she wants to stay thin. Should have thought about that before you got yourself knocked up. Sorry for the language. That just infuriates me.
  • I went back to read about the post since a lot of people were commenting on it, but it was deleted. Hopefully because someone spoke up. When i see my friend at church tomorrow I'll see if I can say something without upsetting her.
  • I reread and I'm even more concerned not to be alarmist or debbie downer, but a lot of babies measuring behind at 15 weeks do not have good outcomes. 

    Without my routine 3x weekly appointments we wouldn't have caught that my son needed to be out ASAP. She NEEDS to see a doctor. 
  • A girl I knew in high school was anorexic and lost her baby near term.  It was very sad, but the person who fathered the child was a 30 year old man who had fathered many children of teens and at least this girl is no longer tied to this monster.  On the flip side, if she is just eating a nice, well-portioned diet, that's probably good--I wish I could have eaten less during pregnancy--it would have been better for my child who had complications due to g.d. that I didn't know I had since I passed the test.  She really should do that test...knowing you have g.d. is really important.
  • I spoke to another friend about it. She knows the family a lot better than I do. She said that the son's parents are concerned about it. She is actually living with them. Also she is here illegally so that is another reason she isn't going to the doctor....awesome.
  • darkangel42darkangel42 member
    edited January 2015
    JUST DELETE MY CONTENT.
  • Yes she is from Mexico and her and her whole family are here illegally. Her family is dysfunctional so that is why she is living with the boyfriend. They asked her why she wanted to marry her boyfriend and she said it was because it is easier. Nothing about being in love
  • darkangel42darkangel42 member
    edited January 2015
    JUST DELETE MY CONTENT
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