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It's coming to an end

jeephappygirljeephappygirl member
in Single Parents
D & I have been together for 8 yrs. Married for 4. 3.5 yr old DD & 1 yr old twins. It's the same fights over and over again. My one hang up is I do love him & I'm worried for him. He gets very self destructive & I think he will go on a drinking binge. How do you deal with the guilt of that? I'm so worried he will end up in jail or hurting himself or someone else. I know he's an adult & I can't blame myself but I'm truly afraid of how he will handle it if I tell him it's over. He won't see a counselor and has very few people to help him.
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Re: It's coming to an end

  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Unfortunatly you cant control him.

    Prepare for the worst and take care of you and your kids
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    My BD used to text me that he was going to kill himself after we broke up (he dumped me, though).  We dated for 4 years, we broke up when I got pregnant, because of the pregnancy. But he was/is also self-destructive and an alcoholic, also wouldn't/won't see a counselor and has few to help him as well, so I feel for you, dear.

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    I felt guilty for a little while, but I just focused on me and my pregnancy and eventually all the guilt went away.  I feel like I had no reason to feel guilty since he left me, but it was still there and still something I dealt with.

    Keep yourself and your kids in check, do what you need to do.  Maybe start with an ultimatum (go see a counselor or we will not be together)? 

    Prepare yourself, like Minnesota said.  It's going to be bad but, hopefully, not for long.
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  • HelenahhandbasketHelenahhandbasket member

    Guilt was a huge reason I stayed with my STBXH for so long. 

    In our case our split motivated him to get himself together, because he literally had no other options than to do so.  Not saying that's how everyone would react to a split, but is there a way you could spin it like that for him?  That this could be his chance for a fresh start?

    If not, your responsibility is to protect your childern and yourself.

    Good luck to you.

     

    BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12

    Lilypie - (TUWi)

     

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  • amiligraceamiligrace member
    When I told my husband I was leaving, he threatened to kill himself. I stood my ground, because he was abusive. So he attempted to take his own life. I called the police, and left town two days later. He will make his own choices no matter what you do or don't do. I am sorry you have to go through this.
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