August 2014 Moms
dvmmomma
member
SOs have all the fun
dvmmomma
member
Anyone else feel like that's true? Seems like I'm always the one worrying about and taking care of DD. I know he'd help if I really asked for it but usually it seems easier for me to just do it all. Tonight for example, I'm just sitting here bumping because I had to come home early to get LO to bed. He's still out drinking and swimming (my family has an indoor pool) and I'm totes jealous.
Again, I know he'd help if I asked so I'm not trying to man bash here. I just sometimes wish I wasn't the mommy and that someone else could feed her and get her to bed and tend to her if she wakes up at night.
Again, I know he'd help if I asked so I'm not trying to man bash here. I just sometimes wish I wasn't the mommy and that someone else could feed her and get her to bed and tend to her if she wakes up at night.
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Re: SOs have all the fun
I have strep and my husband has done absolutely everything for the baby for about 48 hours. If I need help, I ask. But he also just helps out. It's his kid too.
I think we're in the same-ish boat. If I understand correctly. I just ate a huge slice of mint chocolate cheesecake, so I'm basically in a food coma as I MOTN nurse.
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6031128?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063
good night.
And then he likes going to bed the same time as me so we are on the same schedule and can spend more time together.
Neither of us look at it as missing out on anything.
@weeklyplanner, if you're ever in the Chicago area, let me know! My gram lives on our family farm and she's the one with the pool! It was 86 degrees in there last night. LO loved it.
I can totally sympathize. I'm also the default parent but this is also partially my fault. Sometimes it is just easier to do it myself then to wake DH up or explain what to do. He seems to think whenever DS is fussy that automatically means he is hungry regardless of the last time he has been fed. I have been making more of an effort to involve him or leave him alone with the kids after I realized that he has never been alone with them for a significant period of time. He appears to feel more confident and I no longer get as annoyed with him so its a win-win
OK men are dumb...and when we want something, we need to be honest and ask and they will most likely be more than willing to do it...blah blah blah! I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK!!!!!!!! It has been 4 1/2 months since DS was born, I am certainly the default parent, I clean the house, I do the laundry, I cook ALL the food, and I work full-time. Why can my brain balance all of these tasks and you can't think for yourself, "Oh, maybe I should empty the dishwasher, wash some bottles, vacuum/sweep the floor, give DS a bottle in the middle of the night???"
Sure DH will get his butt out from in front of the TV and gladly do all of these things if I ask, but that is IMO selfish and ridiculous...he is a grown man, act like it! I am the mother of a 4 month old, not the mother of a grown man. I shouldn't have to ask you to do something mundane that keeps your house and life the way you have become accustomed to.
Sorry...DH and I had a rough night last night so I'm jumping on OP's rant, but I just feel like since DS my life has changed 100% and DH's life has remained virtually unchanged.
I work part time from home and my boss just gave me another role that will give me more hours. I talked to my husband about childcare maybe 2 days a week and he told me that I was using our kid as an excuse and that I should be able to get work done and take care of her.
It's really caused me to resent him and I just don't know how to approach the subject with him anymore. It's something that has us at a bit of a stand still. He thinks I just need to suck it up and I just want a little more help.
Sorry I have no help for you apparently I just needed a rant of my own
As far as the original statement, I understand completely. For me it isn't even about helping vs not helping. It is that, at least in our house, having a EBF baby who reuses a bottle makes it a lot harder for me to just decide on a whim to go meet up with friends like H can. It doesn't make me angry, but I do get jealous that I always have to plan days in advance if I want to do anything fun. I have a shower to go to on Saturday and am already anticipating having to bring LO because I may not be able to pump enough for a bottle after being sick all weekend and I have zero back up in the freezer. All I wanted to do was leave for a couple hours and enjoy adult time, but I have to consider the baby first.
And @gahorseygal that is not cool. I second pp- you should leave LO with your husband alone if you haven't already. It's amazing how easy caring for an infant seems to husbands until they try it.