HI..I AM NEW HERE...baby mentioned

kaylaromero920 · December 2014

In two more weeks, it will be a year that my husband and I have been trying to conceive. In January of 2014, I got my birth control, Mirena, taken out and ever since then each month has been one let down after another. It used to not bother me as much, I kept telling myself that I just needed to wait for my body to shake the birth control out of my system and than I'd be okay and everything would work out perfectly....boy was I WRONG! I'm starting the "investigation process" January 7TH is my first appointment with my OBGYN to try and figure out what is going on. Of course I hope it's just a simple timing issue, or something that can be easily be fixed, but something in my gut is just telling me that it's something far more serious than that. Like I said, at first it didn't bother me, but now it seems to be taking over my life. I have distanced myself from anyone who has children, including my own brothers and sisters. Three weeks ago, my sister had a baby and I haven't seen her yet because I am so sad/jealous. She lives less than 10 minutes away, and I haven't seen her baby once. I feel bad, but I know I am just sparing myself a crying session and getting even more depressed if I do go and meet her beautiful baby girl. I feel jealous. She only tried for a couple of months and it happened to her, and here I am a year later, and still nothing. We recently purchased a house, and we have two spare rooms that I find myself always keeping the doors shut to, so I don't have to look into the empty rooms and feel sad because I know in at least 1 of those rooms should be a nursery by now. I hate the day each month that mother nature makes her appearance. That day is usually spent crying, sleeping, crying, and sleeping some more. I guess I am venting, but also looking to hear everyone else struggles and just talk it out. Nobody I know has ever went through this, so I find myself keeping this problem in and not sharing it with anyone, which makes it even harder.

Lthompson0525 · December 2014

Welcome! My husband and I have been trying for over a year with no success. I am currently under the care of a reproductive endocrinologist and taking medications and injections in hope of success. I have many crying sessions to my husband and found that speaking with several friends and letting them know what has been going on helps me so that they understand if I seem more sad or distant at times. It also helps because they medications can have some crazy side effects! I wish you the best of luck and hope you get to the bottom of what's going on. Just know you are not alone and there are many of us here for support

kaylaromero920 · December 2014

I cannot tell you how happy I am to finally have a reply to this! I have tried talking to my close friends, and even my own mother, but it seems nobody really understands. I keep getting the old, "quit trying, it will happen when it happens." or "it'll happen if its meant to be" or "maybe you're not supposed to have kids" and I cannot tell you how badly that last one hurts when they say that. I constantly feel like a failure as a woman, wife, and daughter. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I feel that way and there's nothing I can do to stop that negative thought process. I feel like I can't do the one thing every woman should be able to do. I am also beyond nervous for my appointment on the 7th. My OBGYN is also my mothers OBGYN, she's amazing, and know's my mothers battle with cervical and breast cancer, and is familiar with my family history. I am nervous to see what she wants me to start out doing, and I am terrified of all of the medications I keep hearing with the side affects, and not working. It's just an extremeley over whelming process to be going through.

Any idea what the first thing the doctor may have me do? I tried to make an appointment with an RE but with Kaiser you have to start with your OB first and than go to an RE from there. Bummer because I hear OB's are not the person you want to see for things like this.

RufflesaurusRex · December 2014

I'm new to the forum too, but just wanted to say welcome and good luck with your journey.

kaylaromero920 · December 2014

Thank you. And good luck to you too with yours as well. I'm always here to listen and talk!

Lthompson0525 · December 2014

I had a lot of issues before going to RE that my amazing GYN handled for me. She also ordered a transvaginal US and all the necessary blood work for me. I had biopsies and a hysteroscopy done by my GYN in office for abnormal bleeding (I have a hx of melanoma so they were concerned the bleeding could have been cancer). That all checked out and then she referred me to REI. I didn't need any additional testing because my Gyn ordered everything. My husband did have to do a SA (which was perfect "textbook" as my dr said.... Which made it only more obvious that I am the problem). I did two rounds of letrezole which I hated because of the side effects and now am starting my second round of clomid and Ovidrel injections. I am just doing TI not IUI because my dr doesn't feel it's necessary because of all our test results. Maybe your gyn will be good enough to order the lab work and stuff for you so you have a bit of a jump start when you see REI. Good luck! It is very overwhelming and I'm trying to do my best to keep a smile on (most of the time). But you are right I have had friends say those same things and I just bite my tounge....

Any other questions don't hesitate to ask!

kaylaromero920 · December 2014

I am really nervous. Another thing I was worried about was maybe the mirena affected my ability to conceive? I am probably over reacting and being paranoid because I'm upset, but I hope I didn't ruin my chances because of choosing to be on birth control. I love my OBGYN, and I'm sure she'll be as helpful as possible, but I am sort of just preparing myself for bad news, because I'd hate to get my hopes up. It's a stressful process for sure.

bookworm40 · December 2014

Welcome and good luck! You are certainly not alone in the way you are feeling. Starting the testing process is the first step and hopefully it will be a simple thing. I agree with seeing an RE as much as you love your obgyn, a RE is far more qualified with more complicated issues. Again, good luck and I hope your stay here is short!

dancerspose · December 2014

Welcome and best of luck to you! You definitely want to get that referral to an RE if at all possible. Also, you may want to put a ***baby mentioned*** warning in the title of your post for people who are triggered by that.

Hope your stay here is short!

Remylove1011 · December 2014

Just wanted to say welcome and I understand! I've had so many stupid comments I've lost track. I'm glad that you found this forum, as this is a great place to give/get support. It's ok to start some basic testing you with OB, but make sure to get a referral to an RE before beginning any medicated cycles and to get a diagnosis.

kaylaromero920 · December 2014

I definitely am aiming to get that referral to the RE. I think it will be helpful and point me in the right way. I am hoping it is a simple thing, like a hormone imbalance, or just a simple timing issue, but I am trying to mentally prepare myself for the worst. For those of who have tried Clomid, it seems to not be effective.. is that true? What are most common side effects?

Thank you for such the warm welcome from everyone. It's such a relief to be able to talk with those who have experienced/are experiencing what I am beginning to go through.

How do you all deal with constantly seeing all of your friends and family members that are pregnant, getting pregnant, and having small babies? It's so hard to put that smile on my face. I've read everywhere on the internet on a bunch of fertility issue websites that avoiding all of those people is best, but I also don't want to come off as a bitch to people, or miss out on being apart of my nieces/nephews lives either. *sigh*

BunnyBerry · December 2014

Welcome, although I am so sorry you have to be here.

I'd highly recommend seeing your OB long enough to get your Pap and say, "We've been TTC 12 months without success," and then hightail it to the RE with your referral (as long as insurance covers testing, why not have the testing and interpretation be from the skilled expert?).

Just keep in mind as testing begins that even if one possible (or definite) cause of IF is found, that in no way precludes other causes...get the complete workup before starting a treatment cycle (of course, if issues are found that need ongoing treatment, like motility issues that could benefit from vitamins or injections, or blood sugar issues that could benefit from meds, definitely get started on those!).

The best advice I have for dealing with other people's pregnancies and children - join Other People's Pregnancies (OPP) discussion. It should be on today and every Tuesday! I'm so, so sorry you have not yet been able to meet your sister's new baby, but I'm glad you are taking care of yourself first -it's so important to do what you need to in order to get through this process (which hopefully will not last much longer!). Perhaps keep an eye out for a "better IF day" when you're feeling hopeful and plan a short visit if that helps?

kaylaromero920 · December 2014

Thanks ladies. If this info helps, back in November I had my yearly physical, and they did a blood panel, I think they went back 90 days, and they said my sugar levels were a little higher than regular, they said it was near a pre-diabetic category, however I do not have diabetes. I asked her my regular doctor if that would affect my chances of getting pregnant and she said it would not. Other than that, I have a clean bill of health. I am hoping my insurance covers RE, otherwise I'm up the creek without a paddle I guess, and boy would that be depressing.

meredithcarole · December 2014

Welcome. You keep mentioning you wonder if there is a timing issue. Have you tried temping and charting to see when you're ovulating? Are you having sex at least every other day? I would recommend getting a free fertility friend account if you haven't yet.

kaylaromero920 · December 2014

I have not tried any of that, and I am embarrassed to say I do not know how. Also, we have sex about 2-3 times a week because I work shift work, 3-4 nights a week 12 hour shifts, and my husband works 6 days a week 9-5 every day. We definitely do it when we can.

saysjess · December 2014

Welcome! Everyone here is incredibly helpful and knowledgeable-- and if you need anything just ask! I know for me it helped when I felt like I was doing SOMETHING to help us get pregnant. Try reading taking charge of your fertility and it starts with the egg (this one really struck a chord with me and I recommend it to everyone!) I've also started acupuncture which is great for relaxation and to get the blood moving, so maybe try that in the meantime? Good luck and please keep us posted! This really is a great community, especially if you contribute to it

kaylaromero920 · December 2014

@saysjess. Thanks for the kind words. I really hope I can help anyone in this community at anytime. I know I'm not super far into this journey of TTC, it's only been a year. But I think we can all agree that a year feels like a lifetime, and so on for each year after. I'm trying everything I can on my own until my appointment, eating right, exercising, sleeping right, taking care of myself, and trying to keep my stress down. I hope that I can get this figured out, actually I hope all of us can.

theholmanherd · December 2014

@kaylaromero920‌, please add 'babies mentioned' to your title. It's proper etiquette on this board as it can trigger those having bad IF days themselves.

Welcome and please take the advice of PPs to go to an OB only for a referral to an RE. You'll thank us for that. Best of luck!

kaylaromero920 · December 2014

Sorry. I'm new here and I'm trying to learn all of the rules and regulations on how to talk on here.

SND1231 · December 2014

Just wanted to say welcome! Hope your stay is short and sweet!

mshandlebar · December 2014

Welcome! Good luck with referrals! TTC when it has been longer than a year is hard on a good day. I am sorry you are going through a rough time right now, but I hope you will find lots of comfort and support here!

kaylaromero920 · January 2015

Thank you ladies... I have my appointment in 6 days... I will come back and post an update and see what the doctor decides to do.

wreckitsmommy · January 2015

...LO mentioned...

I was in your same postion a little over 3 years ago. I had been on BC for a while and once we decided we were ready for a baby I stopped. I thought I'd get pregnant right away and nothing. We waited and waited and nothing happened. Fast forward 6 months and I went to see my OB. After doing some bloodwork she put me on Clomid. I took Clomid for 3 months and NOTHING! I finally asked that she refer me to an RE. DH and I had to do another round of pricey and extensive tests. It was finally discovered the DH had low sperm count and motility and I had low AMH levels for my age. After a long talk with our RE he told us IVF would be our only option. Luckily, IVF worked and we now have a 2 year old DS. We now feel like we're ready for #2 but we have not used any form of protection since DS was born and NOTHING! It's been over 2 years and we finally decided to go back to the RE. We're not going through more testing and we're just told that DH has to review his SA. We decided we had to wait for IVF as it is very expensive and can't afford treatment right now. We hope to be able to start treatment again at some point this year but of course there are no gaurantees and it will be another emotional rollercoaster. If you need any information or just want to vent, feel free! I know exactly what you're going through and it's definitely not fun!

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