Paci dilemma

nbateman5 · December 2014

I feel like for the last week or so LO (3 weeks tomorrow) has been a great self soother: she can generally go to sleep herself in the swing or after a feeding or in the middle of the night if I put her down in her crib while she's drowsy but almost asleep or after hiccups. But the last few days just after I said to my mother "I think this is getting easier and easier every day" something has been off with LO and I'm not sure if its the growth spurt you all are talking about or that she's just getting older and figuring things out...

I really didn't want to introduce a pacifier again after we had a bad night a week ago of it popping out, cry, put it back in, pop out, cry etc. etc. But today has been so off, she's been awake since 8am with maybe a half hour nap and just irritable and inconsolable. Doesn't want to be held unless I'm feeding her (squirming and crying), swing isn't helping, doesn't have a wet diaper...so I caved and used the pacifier. I know that babies have the need to suck and it definitely seems to soothe her but I feel like a failure, like I'm giving up. How do I know when it's "ok" to use the paci and when she wants to eat? Will she generally refuse the paci if she's hungry?

How do you all feel about using the paci and when do you use it, if at all?

Any other random soothing tips?

ladybug480 · December 2014

Our LO is the same as others; if she's really hungry, she'll spit out the pacifier and cry for food. So there's not much risk of her going hungry due to pacifier use. My general attitude is this: sucking is a natural, soothing reflex for her, so the pacifier is not "cheating", it's just meeting one of her needs. Assuming her other, more primary needs are met (fed, clean, dressed appropriately) I don't feel guilty using the pacifier to make her feel better.

hollieandaaron2012 · December 2014

ladybug480 said:
Our LO is the same as others; if she's really hungry, she'll spit out the pacifier and cry for food. So there's not much risk of her going hungry due to pacifier use. My general attitude is this: sucking is a natural, soothing reflex for her, so the pacifier is not "cheating", it's just meeting one of her needs. Assuming her other, more primary needs are met (fed, clean, dressed appropriately) I don't feel guilty using the pacifier to make her feel better.

Same here she will spit it out if she is hungry. I do have to be carful because sometime she cluster feeds at night. This is new for us so if she starts playing the spit it out game and her last feeding was at least an hour ago we try feeding. Normally her feedings are 3 hours apart but for whatever reason at night she eats more often.

llambrose · December 2014

I am a lurker from J15 and a soon to be STM. My daughter was breastfed but also a big pacifier user. First, don't feel bad for using a pacifier! Some babies just really like them and they help a lot. In my experience, the pacifier did not hinder breastfeeding at all. Watch for hungry behaviors, rooting and moving their head from side to side. If you give a hungry baby a pacifier, it will only soothe them for a few minutes and then they will spit it out and continue searching for the real thing. Don't worry that by using a paci your baby will go hungry to forget that they are actually wanting food. They will let you know what they need. Good luck!

nesenotes · December 2014

llambrose said:

I am a lurker from J15 and a soon to be STM. My daughter was breastfed but also a big pacifier user. First, don't feel bad for using a pacifier! Some babies just really like them and they help a lot. In my experience, the pacifier did not hinder breastfeeding at all. Watch for hungry behaviors, rooting and moving their head from side to side. If you give a hungry baby a pacifier, it will only soothe them for a few minutes and then they will spit it out and continue searching for the real thing. Don't worry that by using a paci your baby will go hungry to forget that they are actually wanting food. They will let you know what they need. Good luck!

This! Some babies have a stronger need to suck than others. DD1 did and loves the crap out of her paci (still does) and was a really good eater.

This one hates the paci and rejects it. Another thing you can try is using a clean pinky finger. Its a great alternative paci and one they cant really get attached to. The only problem is, that means you cant walk away. But it is very soothing.

Manateearmz · December 2014

My baby never got nursing so it was no big deal for us to add the paci. It helps calm her enough that she will chill the F out. She usually gives it a few good sucks then spits it out and falls to sleep.

cwbh928 · December 2014

We almost caved last night but I am trying to hold off as long as possible. We are breastfeeding and occasionally bottle feeding BM, I really afraid to introduce pacifier because I don't want to mess up breastfeeding. He is finally doing pretty good most times and I don't want to take steps back!

I know that's not always the case but our LO is also a self soother and that seems to work. We will see how much longer we will make it!

Good luck!

gdaniels77 · December 2014

a+m=dixon said:
We introduced the pacifier on day 2 and have had no issues with LO being confused (EBF). He was really big on using me to pacify so it has been a lifesaver. Like others have said, it isn't hard to tell when they actually want to eat vs the paci. Hope you're able to get it worked out!

This. The LC at the hospital suggested the paci on day 2 because LO had already blistered me up pretty badly using me as a pacifier. We EBF and she hasn't had any confusion between the two. And if she's hungry she'll immediately spit out the paci if we try to give it to her. Like other PPs have said, you will definitely know the difference between hunger and needing to soothe.

kboyet · December 2014

I wish my LO would take a paci and give my nipples a break!

Mrw218 · December 2014

My kid is doing the same thing. I just finished telling everyone for 3 weeks that I can't complain bc he's a "good" baby and he's now been super fussy for the past two days and changed the habits I thought we were getting into.

nedralynn · December 2014

pooky08 said:
I'm all about a pacifier. A pacifier can eventually be taken away. Much better than a thumb sucker. You can't take a thumb away from a child.

This! Honestly I sucked my thumb for forever and it messed up my mouth and teeth. My 5yr old stepdaughter still does and it drives me nuts because her teeth are already getting messed up from it.

arynras · December 2014

I've finally started to figure out her hunger cues so I know when she is actually hungry versus wanting to suck but it took almost a month. Also, I'm not sure about other babies, but my daughter will generally refuse the pacifier if she is hungry and will take it right away if she is just wanting to self soothe.

MaggieN2028 · December 2014

Any suggestions on how to get LO to take a pacifier? Mine just won't and I want her to. I was a thumb sucker and screwed up my mouth. She is breastfed and has taken a few pumped bottles from DH. Sometimes she really isn't hungry (and might try to eat because I offer, but ends up spitting up whatever she just ate) and just needs to suck. Advice?

AllTheTeaInChina · December 2014

MaggieN2028 said:
Any suggestions on how to get LO to take a pacifier? Mine just won't and I want her to. I was a thumb sucker and screwed up my mouth. She is breastfed and has taken a few pumped bottles from DH. Sometimes she really isn't hungry (and might try to eat because I offer, but ends up spitting up whatever she just ate) and just needs to suck. Advice?

Some babies just won't take one but you could try different brands/shapes.

With DD1 we started with the Avent soothies then switched to regular Avent ones. We were given several different brands and tried others too but she preferred the Avent ones.

hollycn · December 2014

kboyet said:
I wish my LO would take a paci and give my nipples a break!

This.

I was so against LO taking a pacifier at first (because I have an SD3 who still uses one and I didn't want to have to break the habit for this LO too).

I have oversupply issues and LO likes to comfort nurse. Since my breasts don't "empty" as quickly as normal, she gets gassy and fussy real easily. A paci would solve this IF SHE WOULD JUST TAKE ONE!

Research has shown that it reduces the risk of SIDS, is not always habit-forming, and some kids find something else to suck on anyway-- a blanket, their thumb, etc.

Being a human pacifier is exhausting (:|

Mrw218 · December 2014

1- I hope my little guy is just doing the 3 week growth spurt. He was getting into a groove so I knew when to expect some sleep relief and blam now he won't sleep.

2- should I try to get different pacifiers? I have the hospital ones and some gumdrop ones or something like that but he'll suck on them, fall asleep, it'll fall out of his mouth and then he wakes up screaming so it does almost nothing for self soothing. Plus same as pp hollycn I just always give him the boob and he gets a lot of milk bc I am a village feeder as the lactation consultant put it so maybe that contributes to his spit up and constant gassiness?

ColeyCannoli · January 2015

Mrw218 said:
1- I hope my little guy is just doing the 3 week growth spurt. He was getting into a groove so I knew when to expect some sleep relief and blam now he won't sleep.

2- should I try to get different pacifiers? I have the hospital ones and some gumdrop ones or something like that but he'll suck on them, fall asleep, it'll fall out of his mouth and then he wakes up screaming so it does almost nothing for self soothing. Plus same as pp hollycn I just always give him the boob and he gets a lot of milk bc I am a village feeder as the lactation consultant put it so maybe that contributes to his spit up and constant gassiness?

This is a trick a friend's mom taught me. When they have the paci in their mouths and are still awake, gently pull it away (but not out). They'll suck faster to keep it. Do this like 15 times and eventually they won't lose it while sleeping (though you may need a wrench to pry it loose later). Worked pretty well for us.

Ihope · January 2015

AllTheTeaInChina said:

Any suggestions on how to get LO to take a pacifier? Mine just won't and I want her to. I was a thumb sucker and screwed up my mouth. She is breastfed and has taken a few pumped bottles from DH. Sometimes she really isn't hungry (and might try to eat because I offer, but ends up spitting up whatever she just ate) and just needs to suck. Advice?
Some babies just won't take one but you could try different brands/shapes. With DD1 we started with the Avent soothies then switched to regular Avent ones. We were given several different brands and tried others too but she preferred the Avent ones.

<br/ I agree with the avent soothies

Meether · January 2015

ColeyCannoli said:
This is a trick a friend's mom taught me. When they have the paci in their mouths and are still awake, gently pull it away (but not out). They'll suck faster to keep it. Do this like 15 times and eventually they won't lose it while sleeping (though you may need a wrench to pry it loose later). Worked pretty well for us.

Wow thanks for this tip. I'll try it. My daughter also spits it out but doesn't seem to need it throughout her nap. However, my older daughter used to call on me at 2 y.o to get it for her in the middle of the night. Or she would start crying and I'd have to go look for it to mute her.
OP, I also started using the paci on day 2 with both girls. Dd1 did not like the playtex binky brand but loved the soothie (hospital) and mam (orthodontic, we transitioned her at 2 mos). Dd2 took the soothie in the hospital and we transitioned to the mam at 3 weeks with no problems. Both girls took/ take random bottles and don't have a nipple preference either. I'd never feel guilty for using it, my mil is a pediatrician and told me that babies need to suck for comfort, and it's sad that some parents refuse to use one if the child needs it.

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