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Back to Work & Daycare...Help Please!!

OP2014OP2014 member
edited December 2014 in October 2014 Moms
I go back to work on January 12 and it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about what is to come.  Our daycare is 5 stars, less than a mile from our house and my husband and I really like the facility and staff.  Every time I have stopped by, the infant room is calm and I don't think I have ever heard a baby crying!   I should not be worried!

However, I have anxiety about leaving him and only seeing him for a few hours a day.  I just want to make sure he gets attention and doesn't get ignored.  I know the employees are experts and know more about handling babies than I do (First time mom! haha) but I cannot stop worrying.  I am also concerned with seeing him less during the week.  I will go from spending all day with him to only a few hours at night (pick him up at 5:30ish and bedtime is 8:30).  

A few weeks ago I couldn't wait to go back to work but as it is getting closer I am seriously dreading it.  I am scared I am going to cry all day at work.  Did/does anyone else feel this way?  Anyone have any words of encouragement?  I know this is silly but I feel like I just need someone to tell me, it is going to be ok. 

Thank you so much!     
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Re: Back to Work & Daycare...Help Please!!

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    lrobi13lrobi13 member
    My first baby has been at daycare for four weeks and seems to love it.  Some days it takes him a few minutes to quit staring at the teachers to even notice I'm there.  I go everyday at lunch and visit with him and that has helped me out with the big transition.  Good luck to you and check out our back to work thread as MrsCunningham suggested!
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    swise22swise22 member
    I think it's normal for everyone to feel that way. I start back to work on Saturday and am definitely feeling anxious. My biggest concern isn't necessarily leaving him but knowing how long I am gone for. I work 12 hours shifts so I don't get home until after 8 pm which is his bedtime so I will really only see him in the morning those days. To try to get me used to it, DH and I went away for a night for my birthday and left him with my parents. He was thrilled to see me still and definitely did not forget about me which is making the transition a little easier. 
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    ashleyvictoriaashleyvictoria member
    I feel exactly the same way. I go back Feb 2nd and I'm really starting to worry. I'm planning to visit on my lunch break, at least in the beginning so I think that will help some. Are you close enough to visit on a break? Sorry I don't have many suggestions, but know you're definitely not alone. I cry sometimes just thinking about having to leave my LO.
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    Klavanga74Klavanga74 member
    It's so hard.  I stayed home with my first two and never faced this. This time I had set up part-time daycare and I was so dreading mjissing out on time with her that I cut it back to two days instead of three for now.  Of course, this is my third and almost definitely my last and with the perspective of two much older children, I know how time flies, so I'm hesitant to give her up. That said, I do love my work and so I'm hoping I can get the best of both worlds. PP's gave the best advice...listen to your gut, give it a go and see if it gets easier and you get into the job enough to make it worth it.  If not, re-evaluate.  And when you're home with LO, be totally present and soak it in!  
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    sweetsurprise2014sweetsurprise2014 member
    I am right there with you. When I've talked to my friends who have gone through this, they have told me that worrying right now won't help you so try not to think about it and enjoy every moment of your maternity leave. Then, like the previous posters said, you can reflect and do what's right for yourself and family.
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    NavyFlyerNavyFlyer member
    Just make the most of the time you do have together! I get home around 5:30 and that few hours before he goes to sleep are enough time to get plenty of quality time in! Since I went back to work I feel like I really do "make the most of it." I'll be intwracting with him the whole time, not just holding LO while watching TV or something.

    I will say, it has made me want to just stay home with him on weekends to make up for time, so we dont do a lot :-)
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    I literally have tears in my eyes reading this thread. I go back to work in 3 weeks and can't stop thinking about it. DS is so attached to me and all he knows day in and day out is that we are together. I'm so worried about how difficult this adjustment will be for both of us, and that somehow he will want and need me less once I'm not with him 24/7. He fusses and cries in pretty much anyone else's arms, but instantly calms when he gets back into mine. I don't want to lessen this bond. I wish so badly we could afford for me not to go back to work. :(
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    OP2014OP2014 member
    Thank you all for your help!  It honestly makes me feel so much better and I hope it helps anyone else going through this.  I do work close enough that I can stop by at lunch if I feel the need to.  Once I get back to work I know it will work out just fine.  I really will "make the most" out of all of my evenings and weekends with him.  Thank you again!
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    slsl509slsl509 member
    It is hard, no doubt. My mom took care of DD for 3 months (and will do the same for DS) before starting daycare and it was still hard on us. She still complains about going now which bothers me but then I realize that of course she would rather be at my parents getting 2 on 1 attention or even home with me (although she gets really bored at home and that's when she acts up). My parents have a trampoline and indoor toddler swing for God's sake, she would live with them if she could. 

    So I talk myself off the ledge and realize 1) she has a ton of friends 2) she learns so much, hey they essentially potty trained her for us, she is whipsmart 3) she is very comfortable around all sorts of people - having a babysitter is easy peasy 4) she gets so much more stimulation than she would at home with me 5) we have no choice financially as I am the primary breadwinner 6) I don't want to be a SAHM nor DH a SAHD.

    DS is also very attached to me as was DD at that age. There will be crying for both of us. There will be bad days and good days. Overall they will thrive and we will show them two parents who work hard to provide for them. 

    One thing I will say is that you should leave work at work. DH comes home and starts bitching about work or his drive and I just raise an eyebrow and tell him he needs to bring his parenting A-game. Bitching can wait (and frankly I don't want to hear it anyway because I DGAF about the bluehair he was stuck behind, WOTY) until the kids go to bed. When I get home, I'm so happy to see my kid that all that crap disappears. Even though I'm exhausted, I have a new energy for them since I haven't seen them all day.
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