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Feeling guilty about not being excited...

chavemann10chavemann10 member
in 1st Trimester
My DH and I have been married for 4yrs now, and together 6.  We have a beautiful 2yr daughter (whom we tried VERY hard for), as well as 10 & 9yr old boys from my previous marriage.  We had been talking about trying again in the future for another baby, so a 4th child was/is wanted. The problem is, I found out the day after my 30th birthday (which also happened to be Christmas Eve), that I was pregnant. We had been to fertility doctors and both of us have gone thru extensive testing and I've had a few procedures done to help us get pregnant as naturally as possible.  We found out a few months back that DH had a low sperm count and a low motility.  His doc said it would be hard/if not impossible for us to get pregnant again without the aid of IVF. So, not wanting to go that route, I had resigned myself to the fact that we were going to raise 3 happy healthy kiddos and be done.  Now, I'm having severe guilt issues because I am not excited about being pregnant. I mean, I'm happy, don't get me wrong, but for some reason, I just can't get to the point where I want people to know, or even for my DH to touch my belly or even talk about the pregnancy.  I don't know if I'm just trying to adjust to the fact that what I had imagined was my perfect family of 5, will now be 6 (or more...twins run in our family), or if I'm upset about being pregnant...or if maybe with the holidays and all the craziness, I just haven't had a chance to process it.  As soon as I found out, I started taking Prenatals, and changed my bad habits of coffee every morning, no drinking, etc... I've scheduled my appointment with my Ob, and I know for a fact that I don't want to lose the baby (something I've been having nightmares about the past few days), but I just can't seem to be "happy"...  Has anyone else ever had this happen?  Am I stressing for no reason?  Please help!!



Cody Lane - 4/22/2004
Colten James - 9/9/2005
Isabella Ann - 7/20/2012
SURPRISE!!!  Emma Leigh - due 8/27/2015 (c-section date 8/7/2015)

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Re: Feeling guilty about not being excited...

  • taahirataahira member
    I'm sorry your feeling like that. I would say it's all really new right now. Not even a week, it will take time to settle in and start re adjusting what your new life will be with a new addition. Try to not stress, it will all fall into place.
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    Give it time. It's still a surprise.


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  • chavemann10chavemann10 member
    Thanks ladies!  I just didn't know if what I am feeling was normal.  I was excited about my first, pissed and terrified about my 2nd (LONG horrible story about how I got pregnant), and very very excited about my 3rd.  I am just kind of emotionless at this point.  I can't say I'm sad about it, I know I'm happy...but I just don't have any type of in your face emotions about it like I did with my past pregnancies.



    Cody Lane - 4/22/2004
    Colten James - 9/9/2005
    Isabella Ann - 7/20/2012
    SURPRISE!!!  Emma Leigh - due 8/27/2015 (c-section date 8/7/2015)

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  • koyangi87koyangi87 member
    Glad to know I'm not the only one!
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     DD #1 born 8/3/2015
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  • WhitfryWhitfry member
    The holidays are crazy, and you've just had a bday as well. There's a lot going on this time of year for you, and throwing an unexpected pregnancy into the mix just makes it more overwhelming. Give yourself some time to process everything and get used to the idea. I'm sure after awhile you'll start feeling more comfortable. And it's a short jump from comfortable to happy.
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  • ipumpkinipumpkin member

    I'd give it time to sink it. I'm only at #1 and although we have been trying since the summer to get pregnant, when the BFP actually came, I was like horrified, scared, upset and completely freaking out. I didn't think it'd happen so soon and then got flooded with all of these thoughts about if I can even be a mother, if I'd be good at it, ect...  After about 3 weeks and everything settled in and I got into a new routine, I'm really excited now.  All except for the blood draw part. Not that part. lol.

    Can't really change it, so might as well spend time being happy than worried, ya know?

     

    Good luck!!!!! :)

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