CIO

Erika101076 · December 2014

i know we've talked about this before but... My pediatrician just told me I need to let CIO until he falls asleep becuase he is too dependent on us to help him sleep. Now I agree with this but she said let him cry until he falls asleep no matter how long it takes... That seems a little much to me... Should I just close the door and let him cry until he Falls asleep or check on him every now and then?!?

I'm so not looking forward to this becuase my kid has some pipes and I feel like I'm neglecting and abandoning him

linn1376 · December 2014

There are so many opinions on this one which to me indicates there is no right answer. My advice is to go with your gut. If it breaks your heart to let LO CIO endlessly, don't do it. My boss told me I should let LO CIO more because they are able to self sooth at a really young age. I don't agree with her so I haven't taken that advice. I rock LO to sleep. He is up once at midnight to eat and then again at 5:00am. I am okay with this for now so I don't feel the need to let him cry. I didn't do CIO until my first was 9 months and even then it was graduated...5 minutes....10 minutes...15 minutes. Even that tore my husband's heart out but I was ready by then. Do what you feel comfortable with.

jamjoyful · December 2014

What PP said. Just go with your gut.

I will say that I wouldn't leave my child screaming in a room until they fell asleep. If he was just fussing, sure. I would go in to soothe any full-blown crying through.

You just have to find out what will make you most comfortable!

mmsweeney1 · December 2014

My doctor recommended the same, but I decided to go with the Ferber method. You can google a chart to see how long you're supposed to wait between checking on the baby each night. I could never just let her cry and feel alone, so I mostly checked on her every 5 minutes. I'd go in, hold her hand, talk to her, sing a quick song and leave. It only took one night. The whole process was about 45 minutes, but most of the time she was sucking on her hand... I'd say 20 min of crying all together. She is tiny and still needs to eat at night, but that same night I fed her twice and was able to just place her in the crib after and she fell asleep. Second night she fell asleep in under 5 minutes with about 30 seconds of crying. Went right to sleep again after nursing. Maybe we are really lucky, but I can't believe how well it worked. I had never put her down before unless she was completely passed out. Nighttime feelings would be an hour and a half because I tried to get her back to sleep. Then she'd wake as soon as I set her down. I also put her in the crib and ditched the swaddle all at the same time! Seriously it has amazed me. Good luck!!

becominggold · December 2014

I think I remember previous posts where you have tried so many things

but...what about some kind of lovie. ..or a shirt that you have worn. LO will eventually get to sleep but sometimes I do have to return a few times to roll him over, put in the paci, etc. He also holds a lovie against his face. I try not to pick him up or socialize with him, but help him w what he needs to self soothe.

I talked to pedi today about LOs MOTN eating...he said for now keep feeding him if hee wakes, but at some point I will just have to refuse...I dread that day and hope he starts STTN on his own again.

I agree w @hmctagg01 don't do anything that doesn't feel good to you!

Erika101076 · December 2014

I hate the idea but he wakes up about every30 min/1 hr to 2 hrs to just be held and rocked and it's becoming exhausting!! She said if he just nursed and it has been within a 2-3 he span let him cry...

I agree go with my gut and it says how can I let my baby cry but on the other hand I think, if I keep picking him up after 45 min of being asleep becuase he wants to be held I am creating a monster.... I'm so conflicted

belle785 · December 2014

One, LO may not cry as long as you think. I thought for sure DS1 would cry for hours when we did it for him but it was only 15 mins for two nights. Two, there are other methods. We didn't do CIO for naps with ds1 but we did do pick up/ put down. Basically put LO down drowsy, let LO fuss and if it turns to full out crying, pick up and rock for a few then put back down drowsy. Rinse and repeat but make sure your rocking time gets shorter with each interval.

lmanford1 · December 2014

I also went with Ferber, and only until I felt she was ready. I had initially been rocking her to sleep for naps and for bedtime, sometimes putting down drowsy but awake. We are on day six, and she's never cried longer than 8 minutes or so. (That happened in the first couple of days. It sucked real bad.). Usually she's out after the first or second time I check on her, so only crying for about 3-5 minutes. It's actually helped a lot for her naps. Before she was taking 15-30 min naps-once we started Ferber, her naps are 1-2 hours.

Bedtime-she's going down at 7 and sleeping till 5 or 6. She will eat then and go back to sleep for another couple of hours. Last night and tonight she went down for bed without crying at all, just talked to herself and went to sleep. She's big, so she can definitely go that long without eating!

It was definitely hard, but it's working for us, and she's doing great. I imagine things will change once those teeth start busting in. Ugh.

tamarar5 · December 2014

I can't even do CIO with my almost 2 year old just because I can't stand listening to it. It makes me CRAZY hearing the babies cry endlessly.

I agree with ops, though, I could never do something like that, doctor or otherwise, just because someone else thinks I should. What do YOU think? Is this a steep that you think is necessary? Have you looked at the various methods of CIO/modified CIO? There are other methods beyond extinction CIO.

leannerivers · December 2014

At my 4 month appt. my pediatrician also told me that I needed to do CIO. I was appalled and never thought I would ever do CIO. But my LO started not going down after rocking her to sleep-she would freak out whenever she hit the crib and so I couldn't put her down. I started going crazy with this and one morning for her nap I just let her work it out herself and she put herself to sleep in 5 minutes! I couldn't believe it. She goes down for her naps great like that (hasn't helped the cat naps) and it's been harder at night time. I've been doing the sleep lady shuffle that's a gentle CIO. It's similar to ferber except you stay in the room until they fall asleep. You start at the crib and are able to touch and pick up every so often then move to middle of room, then at door, then outside room all in 3 night increments. The whole process takes a couple of weeks. I'm on night 4 and am kind of liking it but I feel like it would be better if I were out of the room. I think it's a tease with me being right there.

Anyways totally do what feels best for you. I think it's all about timing too. My LO mainly fusses so that's why I'm okay with CIO. If I would have tried it earlier she woulda just screamed. Good luck!!!

shevaCC · December 2014

tamarar5 said:
I can't even do CIO with my almost 2 year old just because I can't stand listening to it. It makes me CRAZY hearing the babies cry endlessly.

I agree with ops, though, I could never do something like that, doctor or otherwise, just because someone else thinks I should. What do YOU think? Is this a steep that you think is necessary? Have you looked at the various methods of CIO/modified CIO? There are other methods beyond extinction CIO.

All of this. We never did CIO with DD. Now we let her fuss but she's 2.5 and able to understand what's going on. CIO always felt wrong to me so I didn't do it.

CIO

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