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TTC After a Loss
sgr2014
member
4th time's a charm? Losses mentioned.
sgr2014
member
I am new to the board and just wanted to surround myself with some women who may be going through what I am. I actually posted this in another group and was told this group would be a better fit for the post.
I found out last Saturday that I was pregnant, and on Christmas I had another miscarriage. This is my 3rd MC. We have been trying for about 1.5 years. I first got pregnant in March, then again around August, and again in late November. They've all been early MC's.
It's hard. I am young and healthy, and I don't understand why this keeps happening. I'm sick of people telling me to stop stressing out because once I stop thinking about it, "it'll happen." I want to smack people who tell me that. Don't you?
I am finally going to a fertility specialist on Jan. 15th to see what she has to say.
How do you girls cope with this stuff? It's so, so hard. And I'm not getting any younger. I feel like a failure as a woman, you know? This is what we are here for...to reproduce and keep things going. I can't even do that for my husband, who also wants a baby so badly. I know, trust me...I KNOW that I am lucky that I can get pregnant. Before March, I was starting to wonder if I was even fertile. So yay, at least I can get there. But why can't I STAY there? I've had my hormones checked and they are normal. I actually read a statistic (and it could be wrong..) that only ONE percent of women miscarry 3+ times in a row. If that's true, how did I end up in that tiny statistic?
I'm wondering if maybe my uterus is thin or there is another physical thing going on. So far, according to my OB/GYN, everything is normal. I am counting down the days to when I see the specialist.
Also, for those who have gone to a fertility specialist for early miscarriages, what should I expect? I am sure it varies based on the situation, but I am going in blindly. Do they actually DO anything at the first appointment? I don't want to waste more time than my actual OB/GYN has made me waste (long story short, he's getting the boot). Thoughts?
Thank you!!
I found out last Saturday that I was pregnant, and on Christmas I had another miscarriage. This is my 3rd MC. We have been trying for about 1.5 years. I first got pregnant in March, then again around August, and again in late November. They've all been early MC's.
It's hard. I am young and healthy, and I don't understand why this keeps happening. I'm sick of people telling me to stop stressing out because once I stop thinking about it, "it'll happen." I want to smack people who tell me that. Don't you?
I am finally going to a fertility specialist on Jan. 15th to see what she has to say.
How do you girls cope with this stuff? It's so, so hard. And I'm not getting any younger. I feel like a failure as a woman, you know? This is what we are here for...to reproduce and keep things going. I can't even do that for my husband, who also wants a baby so badly. I know, trust me...I KNOW that I am lucky that I can get pregnant. Before March, I was starting to wonder if I was even fertile. So yay, at least I can get there. But why can't I STAY there? I've had my hormones checked and they are normal. I actually read a statistic (and it could be wrong..) that only ONE percent of women miscarry 3+ times in a row. If that's true, how did I end up in that tiny statistic?
I'm wondering if maybe my uterus is thin or there is another physical thing going on. So far, according to my OB/GYN, everything is normal. I am counting down the days to when I see the specialist. Also, for those who have gone to a fertility specialist for early miscarriages, what should I expect? I am sure it varies based on the situation, but I am going in blindly. Do they actually DO anything at the first appointment? I don't want to waste more time than my actual OB/GYN has made me waste (long story short, he's getting the boot). Thoughts?
Thank you!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: 4th time's a charm? Losses mentioned.
Very likely, at your first RE appointment, they'll get a history and do a physical exam, plus/minus ultrasound. For me, after my third MC, I had a ton of blood tests done (aka 17 vials) to rule out a variety of diseases that could be causing my MC. They may also do a counsyl genetic profile on you (possibly YH as well depending on your results).
Take care of yourself in this difficult time. ((hugs))
08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN ,
10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
9/20/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d
10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
I do have a cyst or two, but they told me it's not PCOS. They also said it shouldn't have an impact on my getting of staying pregnant. So that's why I'm so lost. Everything looks textbook perfect, yet it's not happening. It's so hard. I just hope the specialist can look at all of my precious tests and tell me what SHE thinks. I don't care for my ob anymore, so his opinion is useless to me now lol
For my first RE appointment the lead up paperwork was very detailed. She talked to me about what my concerns were. She went over her initial thoughts. We did an ultrasound and a lot of blood work (they tried to get 14 vials, but I started getting faint around vial 9 so we did the rest on CD3 - they can only measure your FSH between CD2 and CD4 so it is often done on the 3rd day). Once all testing results come in they will sit down and make a plan with you. For RPL testing I think there are some additional things they do, but I am not familiar enough to tell you what.
As for how you deal with everything? This board has been very helpful. I also saw a counselor for a bit. It is hard to deal with loss like this because not everyone in real life sees it as the heartbreak it is.
My Ovulation Chart
The frustrations you're feeling are normal. I am in a similar situation, be married 2 years and I just experienced my 3rd loss this October. It sucks to be in the situation and it's hard when people say things that seem insensitive.
I also have my first RE appointment in January, on the 21st. I hope your appointment goes well and you can get some answers *hug*
IUI#3 brought us our dragon baby Z
TTCAL January 2015 Siggy Challenge: Animal Snow Interactions
Sadly we all know too well that statistics don't always land in your favor. Someone ends up on the wrong side of the number. As far as coping. Here. Therapy, exercise and (not healthy coping) alcohol.
Eta I think my thoughts came out jumbled. Also (((hugs)))
PgAL welcome
Married 6/11/2011
Me & Hubby: 34
TTC journey started 12/2012
BFP #1 6/5/2013, MC confirmed 6/26/2013 @ 7 wks
BFP#2 8/25/2013 MC confirmed 10/16/2013 @ 12 wks (D&C 10/18)
Diagnosis: unexplained RPL, unexplained IF.
Also have hypothyroidism
Started TTC again 12/2013
IUI#1:Clomid CD 3-7, Trigger'ed CD 12. IUI CD 14. BFN
IUI #2:Letrozole CD 3 - 7, Follistim CD 9, Trigger CD 10, IUI CD12. BFN
Current plan: IVF with PGD. Antagonist - Vivelle Protocal. Stim start 12/1. ER 12/14.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/502498
welcome, and I'm sorry for your losses.
I had two miscarriages this past year, and was refered for recurrent loss testing based on my history. They took a ton of vials, and I also had a sonohysterogram, where they found a fibroid inside of my uterus believed to have been the cause of my troubles.
as to how I cope, I hang out here, I try to focus on things other than TTC and my losses, and I've become more of an introvert due to all of this craziness.
DD 15.07.2012
BFP #2 01.18.2014, MMC 04.10.2014 15w5d
BFP #3 07.18.2014, MC 07.31.2014 5w6d
DX: RPL due to submucosal uterine fibroid. Hysteroscopy 12/16. All clear!
Married: 9/25/10
TTC # 1 since 5/2013
BFP # 1: 2/7/14, mmc 3/12/14, D&C 3/19/14
Boy, Trisomy 13, Karyotyping and Genetic Testing all normal
Hysteroscopy and D&C 6/2/14, retained tissue
Off the bench 7/14
BFP # 2: 10/3/14, Blighted ovum, D&C 11/12/14
Girl, no chromosomal abnormalities detected
RPL Testing: Pre-diabetic, ANA+
"I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it." - e.e. cummings