Introduction- Hello everyone!

I have never posted on an infertility forum before, but I am in a really tough place, and I am in need of people who understand.

A little about me to start: My husband and I have been married for 7 years, we have been off of BC for 4 years, and have actively been TTC for 17 months. I know that to some this is a relatively short time, but it has seemed like an eternity. I am the only one in my family, his family, and both of our extended families that has encountered this issue, and trying to explain it to people who have not dealt with this kind of pain is only fighting a losing battle. They cannot understand, and they never will, and I am realizing it is unfair of me to expect them to understand the way I need them to. After a year of trying I talked to my GYN, who ran the blood work, did the ultrasound, and started me on Letrozole- very small dosage as I ovulate on my own. Did that routine for three months before he referred me to a RE (reproductive endocrinologist). She ran more blood work last week, and if it all comes back normal then we are looking at unexplained infertility. My Husband's tests all came back normal, too. She said she has every confidence that I will get pregnant in a few month's time with a little help- she keeps talking IUI- but I don't want to get my hopes up just to be disappointed again, and poorer with nothing to show for it. But I certainly don't want to waste any more time, either. I am not naive enough to believe that IUI will work the first, or even the second time, if it works at all. So, for those that are in the same boat, or have been through this- is it worth all the out of pocket costs?

The holidays have been so hard on me this year; My Christmas spirit was squelched and never revived. I didn't decorate like I usually do, didn't send out cards, didn't give as I usually do, and I hate that my pain has changed me so much. Am I the only one who wanted to toss every holiday card that boasted adorable little children and pictures of beautiful families? I feel like such a Grinch! But I also think it's a little insensitive for the people who know the situation to rub it in our faces every chance they get, too. Maybe I'm just bitter, but I have nothing to compare this to, no one to talk to about it, and I have no idea what is considered "normal." And I am so DONE with people who are trying to be helpful and do nothing but give terrible, hurtful, insensitive, and uneducated comments and advice. Seriously, something needs to be done to educate people that Infertility is a disease, and cannot be "fixed" with deficient wisdom that people acquire from everywhere except where they should be getting the real story, the facts about this condition. I just want to be understood by other women, and everyone I know has kids, is pregnant, or has been pregnant and never had trouble conceiving. So, naturally, I'm doing something wrong. Am I alone? Someone please tell me I'm not totally crazy.

Hopefully I can find a few of you ladies that can relate- looking forward to a little hope in the new year.