two year old tantrums

Re: two year old tantrums

• kjsmith9 member

  December 2014

  Two year olds throw tantrums because they're two, unfortunately.  They don't understand why they can't have something they want, or do something they want, at that very second.  DD turned 2 a few weeks ago, and we also have a baby on the way - but I don't think that has a single thing to do with her tantrums... It's just a part of this age.

  
  

  Do you think you spoil her too much and give her whatever she wants?  If you typically do, then yes, that's probably a part of the issue.  Boundaries are important for this age, because they will test and test and test you on EVERY line you have drawn.  DD likes to play a Daniel Tiger game on my phone, and sometimes I let her play while I change her diaper - but when diaper change is over, so is Daniel.  Does she throw herself on the floor and scream her face off for 5 minutes once in awhile because she wanted to keep playing?  Yup.  But consistency is key and she'll figure it out.

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• ashiscute member

  December 2014

  Tantrums at 2 are normal. I think it's unlikely she is spoiled and more likely she is just being 2. If you tell her no an she starts having a tantrum then you are teaching her what no means and what mommy says goes.
  
  I don't think discipline is appropriate because she's just expressing herself. When my LOs have a tantrum I ignore them. I make sure they are safe of course but pretty much let them do their thing until they are ready to hug it out and move on. I save timeouts for hitting, kicking, etc.

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• Ya Never Know member

  December 2014

  We got some good advice from my aunt for tantrums (she's been a daycare provider for over 25 years), and it has really been working for us. DD's tantrums were getting worse and worse, and I was at my wits end trying to figure out how to take them down from the 1/2 hour to 45 minute scream fests that they were becoming. The approaches we tried weren't working, (ignoring, trying to talk through them, putting DD in a safe place and letting her figure it out)... what has been working for us is just to not let the tantrums phase us (even though it can be soooo challenging sometimes), keep our cool, and just repeat the same thing over and over (mommy can't talk to you when you are screaming) until she stops. The time it takes for us to get through a tantrum has drastically reduced. I know a lot of why her tantrums were bad before is because I would lose my cool and raise my voice. DD could hear me getting upset, which would only make her more upset. Tantrums are so frustrating, but for us not letting that frustration get to us has really been helpful. Some days I just feel like I'm doing everything wrong, I'm so thankful that my aunt is around to talk me off the ledge, she really has great advice.
  

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• BabyNewbury2012 member

  December 2014

  Just wanted to say I feel for you. I am going through the same with my 2.5 year old daughter. Some days I feel like taking her to see a doctor because it just happens so often! Good Luck to you. And I love all the advice here!

  

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• Unknown

  December 2014

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• this decaf life member

  January 2015

  DD just turned two, no baby on the way, she throws tantrums. Developmentally normal. I'd say DD's tantrums are incredibly annoying but relatively minor. 

  
  

  I don't know if it's right but for the most part I pick her up, explain what I didn't like about her behavior while we have a "time out" - it's not a punishment tactic, it's an opportunity to rethink the behavior - for a minute and then I try to redirect her so that she doesn't go right back to doing the same thing. Sometimes she tests me to see how many times she can get away with doing the same thing before I remove the item completely, right now if she throws it twice I take it or we go to a different room so she can't keep playing with the "trouble" item.

  
  

  The biggest thing we try to always keep in mind is to never tell her we're going to do something unless we can actually follow through with it. We won't tell her we're going home, or that she can't go to outside, etc unless we're going to really be able to do it. A consistent reaction is the best while understanding that tantrums are pretty normal.

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