SOs just don't understand...

mrslampert · December 2014

What is your SO struggling to understand?

I have been so insanely tired. I could sleep 12+ hours every night and take a 3 hour nap. Normally H and I are up at 7 on the weekends doing things, either chores or working on the house...we're up and doing stuff. Now, I'm struggling to even get out of bed by 9 am; even when I go to bed at 8-9 the night before. H is totally convinced something is "really wrong" and that it's"not normal". I keep telling him, yes this is totally normal, a good percentage of women feel exhausting the first tri, it's much better in the 2nd tri, then comes back towards the end of your pregnancy. Thankfully, we have a Dr appt on Monday and then he can ask then.

chelts202 · December 2014

Yesterday I made cinnamon rolls for a family Christmas party. I left the kitchen to go get ready after putting them in the oven and when the timer went off I went back to the kitchen to take them out and had to leave immediately! The smell was so strong!
It's like I could smell the yeast/alcohol from the dough.

H had to take them out for me and hold them in his lap on the way to the party because I couldn't even stand to have them near me. I had to keep my window rolled down for fresh air the whole trip (only about a 5 minute drive, but in 20 degree weather) H was good about the whole thing, but I could tell he thought I was being dramatic about the intensity of the smell.

Motownthrowdown · December 2014

Mine is also struggling with the tiredness. In his head, tired equals lazy. We actually had a fight the other day about this and I explained all the stuff that is currently going on with the baby (according to the books and stuff), such as heart valves, building arms and legs, etc. having it spelled out kind of helped. Plus I am hypothyroid and I suspect my levels may be a smidge off. Going in 2 weeks to get them checked because its about time anyway. He also got comically annoyed when I told him I vacuumed. Our vacuum weighs maybe ten pounds, I'm cleared to lift 30 by my doctor, and it's not like I was running up and down stairs with it lifted above my head.

Lalala2326 · December 2014

Eh my husband is used to it now. It was the same the first time around with my daughter, and he knows it will like likely get a lot better in 2nd tri when the exhaustion lets up a bit and the nausea (hopefully) subsides. I remember him being a little surprised at the extent of the tiredness the first pregnancy but he isn't one to question me on stuff like that. At least next time around your SOs should know what to expect

He has actually been a really big help with our just-turned-2-yr-old.

Kimk1616 · December 2014

I just had this conversation with my husband this morning. He just doesn't get it, especially the part where I feel nauseous pretty much all the time. I should've gotten him a pregnancy book for Christmas...

Boslove · December 2014

My boobs are no longer fun bags , and you might get a quick slap if you keep grabbing them >:/

maggiesmom1 · December 2014

I thought maybe i was the only one. My h also relates all my tiredness to being lazy and thinks i am being over dramatic with the throwing up. I wish he could live in my body for a day.

TibbySixx1016 · December 2014

My husband thinks I can just get up and exercise and the fatigue will be gone. Not so much. Just let me sleep hahahahah he also doesn't understand that my boobs hurt and right now they are not toys! Lol

BethKate2 · December 2014

My H is having a hard time understanding that it's ok for me to exercise. He's gotten better, but he still gives me a bit of a hard time when I say I'm going out for a run or going to the gym.

As far as symptoms, my H has been great. He's teased me a few times when I've gone to be super early, but yesterday, after cleaning all morning, he tucked me into bed for a nap. He's been awesome.

Sassafras823 · December 2014

My H always asks how I am doing and I am honest: between the nausea and exhaustion, I feel like crap. He says he is sorry and I know he is in a tough spot because he gets it but not entirely. He did make fun of my sleeping today, which I didn't care for. I went to bed last night at 11, awoke at 5am, slept again from 7 to 9, and then napped from 2-4. I needed it. I feel like a zombie. He doesn't think that is a normal amount of sleep. Then again, he is the type who only requires 6 hours, himself. So...I'm on my own on the sleeping bit.

Is 10 hours, including the nap, crazy? I think it's a must! We are doing more than meets the eye right now!

jgesi · December 2014

Wow, I'm feeling so lucky that my husband has been so great. He seems to absolutely get it, and im so thankful for that. My sister's husband (they just had a baby) looked at me, and now totally gets it. He thought my poor sister was just being dramatic the whole first trimester.

aliska · December 2014

DH has been a saint. He has watched DD for days while I was one with the sofa. He even put the blu-ray player in our room with Mad Men season 4. I am such a bum. Have your OB talk some sense into him.

astheria · December 2014

Dh doesn't get that the dishes won't do themselves and if I try I will likely toss my cookies. Otherwise he's doing good. Grabbing me waters and food when I want it. Even freaked out when the house across the street caught fire today telling me not to breath it in and cover my nose and mouth just in case (inside our house).

blinnea23 · December 2014

My DH has been amazing so far. Helping more with DD. Picking up around the house. Letting me sleep in most mornings.

Although with my first pregnancy he wasn't so understanding. He learned though.. Definitely have your doctor explain things to him. Having another person reaffirm things helps sometimes.

CarolinaGirl2014 · December 2014

I have to say, DH has been amazing. He doesn't care that I barely cook or clean now due to fatigue and long work days, but when I decide the house needs cleaning, he joins in. He helps if I ask for help but otherwise knows I'm pregnant, not broken. He did keep an extra close eye on me at the gym today, which I thought was very cute. I can't seem to forgive myself for doing so little beside work, though.

LawnDog1216 · December 2014

Hubs has an excellent history with first tri, and appears to be remembering well. That said, he did NOT believe we were having a baby until we were home from the hospital for a week (and no one came to take her back)! Heart beats, ultrasounds, baby kicking him, present for the c-section, driving home... "We'll see..." WTF will we see, dude?? I'm hoping it doesn't take so long to hit home this time.

What was the question again? I feel like I wandered a bit there. Sorry, gals.

KristinaD217 · December 2014

Mine has had problems with how moody I have been. And I can't blame him. I've been a total bitch. *sigh* he won't let me clean anything which is bothersome because I'm a stay at home....so I can't do my job while he provides. And he won't have sex with me....he's worried it'll hurt the baby and I can't seem to change his mind, because I'm not showing I'm going to seduce him! Wish me luck!

vclark1985 · December 2014

My SO seems to feel the need to go party every night during the weekend. I declined the invite due to being tired and sick, and he got kinda pissed. Sorry dude. I'm growing a baby. Plus we fight when he drinks. I didn't want to deal with it. Now he's making our plans for NYE, which may include a party bus? No thanks. That's not even my style when I'm not pregnant. Leaves me totally frustrated because I want to spend NYE with him, but not deal with the bullshit. I wish he'd be more understanding.

dilutedsanity0 · December 2014

@chelts202‌ I hear you! My husband reheated chinese food yesterday and it made the whole house smell. Now normally I like chinese food. But the smell of this made me run to the bathroom and vomit so quickly. I can't stand the smells!

Patella1129 · December 2014

DH is fine. I don't know if it's entirely sunk it yet. My fatigue started earlier with this pregnancy and I think he side-eyes me sometimes when I nap on the couch with my son in the afternoons instead of cleaning or whatever I used to do.

But am so.freaking.tired. My other kids have been sick and the 4 year old has had so.many.accidents in the MOTN lately. I don't think I've slept through the night more than a handful of times in 4 years. I'm a little afraid for when this baby comes.

kcebeling · December 2014

That guy I married? Yeah...we are currently on the outs because he said something about my eating for three. I've gained a pound and a half eating small snacks. I want to kill him.

Lovetangle · December 2014

jabs86 said:
t.

That being said the other day I was feeling pretty miserable and he had the balls to mention that he hopes we can have sex soon. Yeah, fuck you dude, I just want to feel human again.

My SO is the opposite! I feel like crap all day but I'm usually ok at night. He refuses to have sex with me because he's afraid he'll hurt me! Only once in the last week. I'm dying! Lol

katehenton623 · December 2014

My DH has been really awesome! He teases me about naps but I have always been a nap taker so it is a running joke for us. It would be nice to have help with dishes because after I cook I don't want to smell anything even a little similar to what I made for days. Being in our tiny house at that point is miserable enough without actually walking into the kitchen but I just wait to do them until I can handle it and he doesn't complain about what the kitchen looks like. It's an ok compromise.

Jessa1404 · December 2014

My husband has been amazing. He's been out of town for work a lot, but he helps out big time when he's home, and he seems very excited about the little one, doing research in his spare time. One thing he didn't "get": He left me some leftovers to eat while he was out of town, and I didn't eat all of them. He seemed a little disappointed that we had to throw them away. I had to explain that while I appreciate the effort, I can only eat a little bit at a time because of my nausea, and my random food aversions hit when I least expect it, so something that sounds delicious one day can be completely unsightly the next.

Blairbear28 · December 2014

Mine doesn't get it either. He insists J am "milking it" and being lazy. I asked him nicely to google it so he wouldn't understand but he refused.

Mammato4 · December 2014

My hubby and I have been fighting a lot

he doesn't understand at all which is ridiculous because this isn't his first baby!! Needs attention and I'm tired I feel like I'm dealing with a child. I don't know what to do. I'm scared of miscarrying again because of stress. I've been crying myself to sleep for the past few nights. And worse part is he leaves soon to go back to working away 21/7.

KLB2T · December 2014

I guess my DH needs to learn from some of your DH's, because he tells me that he's not going to "baby me". Did the same thing last pregnancy.

The one cute thing he did though, was attempt to book a surprise get-a-way for my birthday to the hot springs. He took it upon himself to call the doctor to ask her opinion, which was to not go to the hot springs, because its bad for the baby. Oh well....he tried I guess. I kinda want to hint to him that I can still partake in a spa day

emmiemae08 · December 2014

Overall mine has been fantastic...

But then last night happened. He wants me to dd for him tonight so he can go to a friends house that's an hour and 20 mins away. He told his friend that we might not make it because "the old lady has been bitchy lately". Umm... what? He told me he said this so he wouldn't spill the beans about me being pregnant. Also, if I'm that upset about it why don't we just go? I am a bit... frustrated (yea we'll go with that word) because I have enough trouble staying awake past 10 after I work 8-6 every day on my feet. But whatever.

Sincerely,
Bitchy

ammc07 · December 2014

My first pregnancy he wasn't so understanding a d I know he thought I was being lazy and 'playing the pregnancy card' This time though he's been great.

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