Please help....

DrewFuller92 · December 2014

I'm not sure which thread this is supposed to be under, but I'm having a serious issue that's about to drive me into depression and I NEED HELP!

I just found out my husband has been cheating on me, we've been together since high school (almost five years) and we have a daughter together and now I'm pregnant again. My emotions are at an all time high and I feel myself becoming depressed. My family is back in Florida and we got relocated to Texas because he's in the army. I need someone to please PLEASE help me pull myself together. I don't know anyone here and I'm becoming overwhelmed.... sorry this isn't in the right section, I'm just not in my head right now....

steen9713 · December 2014

I am so sorry you are in a situation like this, especially while you are pregnant. Have you spoken with your husband about this? Always take a step back evaluate your situation and approach it when you have collected yourself and your thoughts. Take as much time as you need don't let any one rush you to make any decisions and go with your gut. I hope this helps. We are here for you, and I have see a few other threads on here of moms going throgh similar situations. T&P for you and your Lo.

anfranklin2 · December 2014

I'm so sorry you're going through this! There should be a family group on base somewhere, and they should be able to point you in the right direction to get your divorce started. Also, you could check out militaryonesource.com it's an abundance of information for military and families.
You can also have him charged with adultery, as that is illegal and punishable under ucmj.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me at any time. Again, I'm so so sorry you're going through this, kudos to you for doing what's best for you and your children!

DrewFuller92 · December 2014

steen9713 said:
I am so sorry you are in a situation like this, especially while you are pregnant. Have you spoken with your husband about this? Always take a step back evaluate your situation and approach it when you have collected yourself and your thoughts. Take as much time as you need don't let any one rush you to make any decisions and go with your gut. I hope this helps. We are here for you, and I have see a few other threads on here of moms going throgh similar situations. T&P for you and your Lo.

Thank you.... and yes I've confronted him about it, and the bad thing is, I've known this woman too. I'm doing my best to think straight and not do anything stupid. I know that cheating is a complete deal breaker for me, I love him very much, but I'm going to set an example for my kids and get a divorce. I can just feel my heart breaking.

MCH77 · December 2014

No advice. Just wanted to give you ((hugs))

steen9713 · December 2014

I am the same: cheating is a deal breaker, and I have been throgh many past relationships where I was cheated on. It's never easy and very heart breaking. I am a strong believe that things happen for a reason. We might or always understand that reason right away or Even like why it had to happen. But things always work out no matter what, life always moves on. If you feel and believe divorce is what you need to move past this, then only you can decide that. you seem like a very strong women I wish you the best.

DrewFuller92 · December 2014

steen9713 said:
I am the same: cheating is a deal breaker, and I have been throgh many past relationships where I was cheated on. It's never easy and very heart breaking. I am a strong believe that things happen for a reason. We might or always understand that reason right away or Even like why it had to happen. But things always work out no matter what, life always moves on. If you feel and believe divorce is what you need to move past this, then only you can decide that. you seem like a very strong women I wish you the best.

Thank you, I believe there's a reason for this as well. If I weren't pregnant, this would be much easier. But my emotions are everywhere right now and I've been up since 2:00am central time. Thank you for replying to my post, I feel a little better now.

DrewFuller92 · December 2014

anfranklin2 said:
I'm so sorry you're going through this! There should be a family group on base somewhere, and they should be able to point you in the right direction to get your divorce started. Also, you could check out militaryonesource.com it's an abundance of information for military and families.
You can also have him charged with adultery, as that is illegal and punishable under ucmj.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me at any time. Again, I'm so so sorry you're going through this, kudos to you for doing what's best for you and your children!

Thank you, I'm going to do the necessary steps today. Thanks to everyone for the swift responses and support, I'll do my best to update you all in when all of this is over.

runa00 · December 2014

I would get a therapist for myself right away to get support and caring. Best of luck and I'm sorry for your situation

DrewFuller92 · December 2014

runa00 said:
I would get a therapist for myself right away to get support and caring. Best of luck and I'm sorry for your situation

I think that would help a lot.

forevergraceful · December 2014

I am so sorry you are going through this. I suggest waiting a little before making any big decisions. Sometimes when we are still super emotional or upset, we do irrational things. I would separate for a bit before making the decision to divorce. Good luck in whatever you decide.

DrewFuller92 · December 2014

forevergraceful said:
I am so sorry you are going through this. I suggest waiting a little before making any big decisions. Sometimes when we are still super emotional or upset, we do irrational things. I would separate for a bit before making the decision to divorce. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Thank you, but I don't tolerate cheating at all. Or lying for that matter. I understand where you're coming from, but this divorce needs to happen. He'll learn to respect the one he's with next time by learning it with me.

traceyos · December 2014

Oh I'm so sorry you are going through this! No advice, but big virtual hugs!

tmoore1085 · December 2014

So sorry you are going through this. I went through a similar situation so if you want to talk feel free to message me. My husband cheated and we got back together after a divorce so I know how u feel although we didnt have children at the time. Just take time to gather your thoughts and whats important to you. Sending hugs your way

MisSmartyPants · December 2014

Oh...I am so sorry you are going through this!! Speaking from a professional spand point you should get couples counseling. I bet the army offers some sort of it. With the boozing hormones, you will have an extremely tough time overcome it on your own. Besides, this is a serious situation, that needs to be addressed in a proper way, or else the negative emotions will just keep building up, and you guys might end up splitting.

thiscoffeechick · December 2014

I respectfully disagree with the people who are saying you shouldn't absolutely leave. He made a vow and he broke it. While I may have a different tolerance level for infidelity, if you feel that the marriage cannot be fixed because of his deception, I stand by you. Only you know what is right for your family.
You are a strong, brave amazing woman to walk away from someone who is too selfish and hurtful to set a good example of a healthy relationship for your children and that is what they deserve... And what YOU deserve.
I'm so sorry you're in this heartbreaking situation. We are here for you, no matter what you decide.
Definitely look into options for therapy. You have a long road ahead of you. Sending love and prayers.

MigdaliaRose · December 2014

I am so sorry you are going through this. Ultimately you will make the decisions that are best for you and your children, and you will make it through. Therapy and getting support are not signs of weakness and could be so incredibly helpful, so please do consider.

muffyvonmuff · December 2014

I'm so sorry!! I can't imagine the whirlwind of emotions you are having. I have no idea what I would do in your situation but I support you if you think that this was a deal breaker. Trust is a big issue and you shouldn't live your life married and paranoid wondering what's going on behind your back. I think you're the victim here and it's not your job to fix the marriage, if anyone's job it would be his. If it's fixable at all. Again I'm sorry. Seek out a personal councilor someone that specializes in divorce and can walk you through the steps and help prepare you for the future. ::hugs::

DrewFuller92 · December 2014

All of you ladies have great advice! I believe I should calm down before I do anything irrational, but infidelity is something I can't take lightly, only because I knew the other woman personally. I appreciate every single one of you beautiful ladies helping me through this. I'll try separation first and therapy, because I know my emotions aren't in check right now. I keep looking at my daughter and wondering what she would think of me for staying with someone who has betrayed me. I have much to think about, and thanks to you all, I believe I'll heal from this pain and we both can eventually co-parent.

Cfabretti2 · December 2014

I've never been good with words. My Ex husband cheated on me too. Im almost sure while i was pregnant as well. I know the feeling. You are stronger than MOST women based on ur deal breaker. Good for you ! Be strong. Maybe ur little one will give u extra strength and security. ((HuGz))
XoXo

DrewFuller92 · December 2014

Cfabretti2 said:
I've never been good with words. My Ex husband cheated on me too. Im almost sure while i was pregnant as well. I know the feeling. You are stronger than MOST women based on ur deal breaker. Good for you ! Be strong. Maybe ur little one will give u extra strength and security. ((HuGz))
XoXo

Thank you! She's my everything and I want her to know how a husband is supposed to act in a marriage. My father cheated on my mother and she left him as well, so I have a great role model.

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