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NWMR: Inviting my DD to a shower

fitmom82fitmom82 member
in Working Moms
I was invited to DH's cousin's bridal shower 2 years ago.  There were 3 little girls who were about 5 at the time, DH's cousin's nieces and the flower girls there.  It was outside so the girls could run around and play.  I just got invited to this woman's baby shower.  It's at a restaurant, I don't know if the other little girls will be there.  DH is taking DS to a monster truck rally and I'm not going to bother asking my mom to watch DD, it's not that big a deal to me if I go or not so I'd rather not add the travel time to my moms or inconvience her for the day.  My MIL and 2 of my SILs will probably be going to the shower.  Should I just say I can't go or should I, or MIL, mention that DH isn't around so would it be ok for me to bring DD?  She's 4 and if the other little girls are there she'd have a great time, but either way she's pretty well behaved.  I just don't want to be one of those people who invited extra people when I'm the only one who was invited.
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Re: NWMR: Inviting my DD to a shower

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    shannmshannm member
    In that specific situation, I would bring her. Send a quick note to the organizer if you want.
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    snicksnacksnicksnack member
    I would go with @momtobe2912's plan. I just hosted a baby shower and my kids were there as were the children of the mom to be so when others Asked i of couse said yes but I never want to ask and would take that approach. My DH and the dad to be watched the kids, although keep in mind you may not have that luxury and end up having to watch her vs paying attention to the shower especially if she is wanting to play with other kids
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    VORVOR member
    shannm said:
    In that specific situation, I would bring her. Send a quick note to the organizer if you want

    100% disagree.  If she wasn't listed on the invitation, she isn't invited.  You just don't' decide to bring a 4 year old with you- that is another person.  Not a baby you can just hold. 

    Totally agree with momtobe2912.   Say no and why and if they are o.k. with kids, they'll say "Oh- you can bring DD". 

    But a restaurant shower where there is a specific head county?  The answer may very well be "Oh, we're so sorry to hear you can't come".  As long as you're o.k with that answer, you're good to go. 

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    skibunny59skibunny59 member
    VOR said:
    shannm said:
    In that specific situation, I would bring her. Send a quick note to the organizer if you want

    100% disagree.  If she wasn't listed on the invitation, she isn't invited.  You just don't' decide to bring a 4 year old with you- that is another person.  Not a baby you can just hold. 

    Totally agree with momtobe2912.   Say no and why and if they are o.k. with kids, they'll say "Oh- you can bring DD". 

    But a restaurant shower where there is a specific head county?  The answer may very well be "Oh, we're so sorry to hear you can't come".  As long as you're o.k with that answer, you're good to go. 

    I agree with you and momtobe2912.  
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    shannmshannm member
    edited December 2014
    VOR said:


    shannm said:

    In that specific situation, I would bring her. Send a quick note to the organizer if you want



    100% disagree.  If she wasn't listed on the invitation, she isn't invited.  You just don't' decide to bring a 4 year old with you- that is another person.  Not a baby you can just hold. 

    Totally agree with momtobe2912.   Say no and why and if they are o.k. with kids, they'll say "Oh- you can bring DD". 

    But a restaurant shower where there is a specific head county?  The answer may very well be "Oh, we're so sorry to hear you can't come".  As long as you're o.k with that answer, you're good to go. 

    I hear you. I just got the sense from the post that it was a laid back family event where her mom and sil would also be. Most of those types of showers that I have attended have been low key relaxed, buffet type events. I'm not suggesting that she take her to a five course sit down wedding.
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    BeevolBeevol member
    I would treat it like any other plus one who want invited. Call the organizers and let then know what's going on (I like @Momtobe2912‌ 's plan if it's formal, if it's an informal/family thing, then I'm more comfortable with straight asking if she can come).
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