Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
KatieeBugg2
member
sleep regression problems
KatieeBugg2
member
Our son is 20 months old and we have a routine of: an Elmo movie(he loves Elmo), bath, then bedtime. He has a night light in his room also, but it isn't too bright. He has a sippy cup(with water) in his bed with him but he will only go to sleep if I stay in the room with him, some nights even while I'm in the room he refuses to lay down and litterally fights with me to try to get out of his bed(like kicking, screaming, pushing me) sometimes that can go on for an hour or longer. If I leave his room he will scream and cry, anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour. There are some nights where he just goes to sleep with no problem but more often then not he refuses, and he's just started about a week ago waking in the middle of the night crying until I go in there. And 30 minutes after I leave he does it again. We're expecting another child and I'd like to break the habit of having to have me in the room to go to sleep before the other baby is here. We have the same routine every night, and his doctor said that letting him cry it out, but no longer then an hour, is a good way to go so he learns to go to sleep on his own. I hate letting him cry it out so much. I've tried going in and checking on him and putting him back in bed but it only made it worse. For a while he would go to sleep without crying or me in the room and wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night. But the past about 6 months he's just hated having to sleep most nights. And advice from anyone who has went through this before? It'd be very helpful.
Best Answer
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snysilver member
Have you tried adding something like reading a book once he gets in bed? It sounds like you have a nice routine in place, so maybe a story as an extra distraction once he actually climbs into bed will help him settle more?
DS is almost 20 months, and for the past few months we've tried to make bedtime something we do, instead of something he HAS to do, if that makes sense. That way it doesn't become a battle of wills to get him to lay down. I do stay in there until he is asleep though, we haven't phased that out yet. I also have another LO (5 months), and many nights I am just holding her while he falls asleep, so his routine didn't necessarily need to change for the new baby.
When he goes through those refusing to lay down phases, I don't try to force him to lay down, but we will turn off most of the lights in the house so when he gets out of bed there's no where else to go. (Possibly important to mention he's in a toddler bed, not a crib, so he basically can come & go from his bed). And he's part of the whole routine, shutting off lights & closing the door and all that.
I don't have much advice for the middle of the night wakings, but maybe tweaking his bedtime routine helps some. And maybe if falling asleep goes smoother, he will stay asleep better?
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Re: sleep regression problems
I couldn't tell from your post if he's in a crib or a big bed. But either way I think your first problem is fighting him to lay down. If I say bedtime and my kid is sitting up saying no I just leave the room. If I start fighting with her she's already succeeded in a delay tactic. If he's unwilling to lay down then just say ok your choice and leave.
I would not want to leave my child to cry by themselves for an hour so I've always done checks. It has worked for both of my kids. However, if it makes if harder on him there are other sleep training options. I would check out some options at your library.
Whatever you choose you have to stick to it for both bedtime and middle of the night and stick to it. Consistency is very important. Is your H able to help with bedtime? If you aren't available to be in his room what does he do? I know whenever DH and I are dealing with a sleep issue we alternate who is going in. Teamwork is a great help.