Dh stressed out

Heidig14 · December 2014

I've been kind of mia from the bump for the past few weeks. I'm learning having a lo is hard! Overall we are doing really well. Christmas really messed with us though. Dh had to go back to work pretty much right away after she was born. Since he was off for Christmas and we have been running around to family, he is realizing how much work it is to leave the house with a 2 week old. Usually she sleeps pretty good, but she was basically held all day on Christmas, and then would not sleep when we got home. She just wanted to be held. It was a rough night after 2 long days of holiday craziness. Anyway, this morning dh was really tired and grumpy and he told me he doesn't like having a baby. We talked and are hoping it gets easier. I'm hoping once she is a couple weeks older I can give her a bottle (we are bf) and me and dh can have a night out. I think that will help. I guess I just want to hear that it gets better?

jaymee1021 · December 2014

Our little guy is 3 weeks and man have the last couple days been tiring with the holidays! Same thing after being held all day he didn't sleep at all last night and we have been used to him sleeping 5 to 6 hrs solid through the night! Both of us being frustrated today is an understatement! I'm sure things will get back to as normal as can be with newborns within the next couple days! Good luck!

paigep8 · December 2014

@jaymee1021‌ how are you getting your LO to sleep that long? We are having trouble putting ours to bed...he wakes to feed, but isn't that hungry since his sessions are just a few minutes, or doesn't like being in his bassinet and wants to be held.

jaymee1021 · December 2014

@paigep8‌ I really have no idea! He has slept that well since we brought him home. He eats 3.5 ounces every 2 to 4 hrs during the day and then 3.5 to 4 ounces around 11 to 12pm and sleeps in his crib in his room until about 5 or 6 then eats again the back to bed until about 9:30am. I never would have thought our 3 week old would be on a schedule but has been consistently like that for 3 weeks now! We make sure he gets held and plenty of cuddles during the day but he naps either in his crib or swing we try to limit the holding while sleeping so that has probably helped us a lot.

BayCamp · December 2014

@Heidig14‌ I feel like I could have written your post myself. I'm hoping once LO is older and more interactive he'll appreciate him more. I know he loves him but I think some men just don't have much of an interest in newborns.

jpagano113 · December 2014

Were going through the same thing. I felt like a horrible person for second guessing whether having a baby was the right decision the first few weeks.. Lack of sleep definitely doesn't help but I keep telling myself and DH it will get better & it has gotten better. At night when she finally settles down in her milk induced coma and gives me that sweet smile I know I wouldn't have it any other way.

paigep8 · December 2014

Any tips for getting these LOs to sleep in a bassinet and not want to be held all the time?

hollieandaaron2012 · December 2014

I was warned by a friend that you might not like your baby right away and I honestly thought she was exaggerating until it took us 5 hours to get LO to fall asleep one night. She does fine most night but every few days she is impossible to put to bed. She just screams for no reason and we question everything. It gets better I have been told but not necessarily for a while. I also know a couple who switched to formula so that their baby would sleep through the night.

iloveac · December 2014

It will get easier. Once DS started sleeping thru the night mine and DH's life changes for the good. I keep reminding myself it's will happen soon with DD too. I try feeding DD every 2 hours during the day that way I have a chance of getting her to sleep longer stretches at night. What you're feeling is normal, the beginning is tough without sleep.

BayCamp · December 2014

paigep8 said:
Any tips for getting these LOs to sleep in a bassinet and not want to be held all the time?

I wait until he's in a dead sleep. Fresh diaper, swaddle, nurse, and when he's good and out we put him down. Nighttime feeds I don't turn any lights on and just use the nightlight so he never fully wakes up.

Wulfgar · December 2014

What works for MW and I is that she has always been more of a couch sleeper so with both our DS and now our DD she sleeps on the couch and puts the DD in the swing at night. Things went well last night until DS woke up at 5:20 to kick me out of bed then come down stairs to play.

The last few days have really messed up our son's normal patterns. It doesn't help that both MW and I are on the sleep deprived side so we just don't get offended when we get grouchy. She is also still hurting so when she is that period when the one dose is wearing off and before the next dose takes effect we give her even more room.

Each family has to find what works the best for all involved.

Shortstack06 · December 2014

I still have an inside baby but H and I talked about this tonight in detail. While he has no experience with babies, he understands that I have had a very easy pregnancy and have been very low maintenance but once baby is here it will be a different story. He is going to have to help a lot because I will probably be a mess. Since he has no idea I need to be patient with him as well. It is going to be team work regardless if I BF or not.

Eora3 · December 2014

Newborns are demanding. It is a really tough phase. With my babies it always seems like once they get to be about two months old, it gets a little easier. They get on a more consistent eating and sleeping schedule and you learn to plan around it. The growth spurts mess everything up again here and there but it never seems to be as bad as the first two months.

Hang in there. It really does get better.

Beevol · December 2014

Going out all day for the holiday was a rookie mistake; we did the same sort of thing with our first and paid the price too. When people say sleep when the baby sleeps, they mean it - no newborns sleep at night for the first couple few weeks, at least.

You and the baby will fall into a pattern in a few weeks or so and you will guard that pattern jealously. Nap times will become sacred and stay that way for a while; DD is two and a half and nap time is still sacred in my house.

Once you have those patterns and are getting some sleep, it will get easier and you will be able to enjoy your baby. Nothing is enjoyable when you haven't slept. For me, having an app that tracks sleep has been really helpful for my sanity (I use feed baby pro, it also tracks feeding, diapers, etc). Being able to see the patterns coalesce makes me feel like I'm on the right path. YMMV.

byrne15 · December 2014

It gets better....it really does.

This is #3 for us and so far all have been very different babies. It is completely normal to sometimes, "not like having a baby". It completely changes your life.

Just keep your communication open and remember to still love each other (cause sometimes you don't feel like it!)

Dh stressed out

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