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TTC After a Loss
mholmes92
member
I need loves (And help I guess) *possible trigger warning*
mholmes92
member
i suddenly have a strong hate for today and tomorrow. I need a friend and I need to vent and I don't know how to say my feelings with out possibly upsetting people.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I need loves (And help I guess) *possible trigger warning*
most of all I kinda just want to scream, but I can't.
I don't want to sleep, I don't want to be awake I want to literally do nothing. Like nothing as in the physically impossible definition of the word when used as a noun.
My Ovulation Chart
Me: 32 DH: 32
BFP #1: 4/1/2010 DS born: 12/3/10
TTC #2 since 5/2014
BFP # 2 : 6/16/14 EDD: 2/25/15 Missed Miscarriage discovered 7/10/14 D&C 7/17/14 Pathology results normal
BFP #3: 10/21/14 EDD: 7/6/15 11/24/14: Saw heartbeat!
TTCAL January 2015 Siggy Challenge: Animals in the snow
Scumbag Penguin
***someone's else's LO's mentioned***
You know what my MIL said to me yesterday? She said "well if it's not meant to be it just won't be. At least you have a handsome nephew and 2 beautiful nieces you can love"
Are you fucking serious? I didn't know if I just overreacted yesterday because I was having a bad loss day but I'm still perturbed this morning.
Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
(Hugs) I am sorry you are having a tough time. You are not alone.
Any random car trips you need to take? I like being alone in the car because when I was feeling this way, I literally did scream and yell it all out at the traffic lights.
Me: 31 DH: 36
Dated Since ‘02, Married in ‘06
BFP#1 05/16/06, EDD01/16/07, MC 06/12/06 at 8 weeks
BFP #2 08/14/14, EDD 04/22/15, MC 09/17/14 at 9 weeks
My Chart
08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN ,
10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
9/20/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d
10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
Yesterday I volunteered to work so I didn't have to stay home. I have no family around and my in laws aren't even able to come down. But if things had gone another way, I would have been surrounded by my family for Christmas, all of them here to help me welcome a new child into our family. It's just a kick in the gut how much different reality is from what is in our heads.
W born September 2020
#3 due November 2022
And @mholmes92 I just saw this but you're definitely not alone. The holidays suck. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Many ((hugs)) to you. I should've been well into my second trimester right now and it's all I can think about.
Edit: because spelling is hard
I also got freaking accused of taking tip money out of a costomers change...of course all you can do is politely tell them that you did not but OMFG I'm done! As soon as the bosses son gets back I'm taking a shot of rumple minze and going the fuck home! Just can't catch a damn break!