Intro from PAIF: Identical Twins

ronniesgirl1981 · December 2014

Hi. I'm Ronniesgirl. I've been a member of 3T and IF for about a year and a half. Our dx is DOR and we are experiencing a surprise pregnancy while on a treatment break. We just found out that I am pregnant with identical twins. It is such a shock and a blessing, but I'm finding that the excitement I experienced finding out I was pregnant has been overtaken with fear and stress now that we know it's twins. It's so strange. When you are going through IF treatments, twins are a real possibility and we accepted that. Getting pregnant on an unmediated cycle left me absolutely certain that it was a singleton. And I thought we'd be OAD. Granted I've only known for a few days, but I feel a heaviness about the news. It's a strange juxtaposition to all of the excitement around us and a difficult emotion for someone who thought she might never experience a pregnancy. Anyhow, I look forward to getting to know you all. If anyone has experience feeling the way I'm feeling, I'd love to hear from you.

mylittleladies1229 · December 2014

Congratulations on twins! I can relate to how you are feeling except my situation is a little different. We did IVF and had twins- so like you said, we knew to expect multiples as a possibility. We were over the moon and very content with having our two children. My husband was 2 weeks away from a vasectomy when we found out we were pregnant with a singleton! Needless to say we had just assumed we wouldn't get pregnant without medical intervention so we were being careless. I am happy, but there was definitely part of me that had it in my mind that we were done and not going to have to worry about a difficult pregnancy again. It's a hard position because while trying to conceive my first I could never imagine being anything but thrilled by a pregnancy.

breezyweezer · December 2014

I felt similar. I am having ID twins as well. I was depressed, sad, worried, etc all those things at first. I have come to think of it as one of the most special and best things that has ever happened to me, though. I think it just takes time to get used to the idea, especially if you thought it would be a singleton.

ktibbits1 · December 2014

I think most MOMs go through those feelings at some point in their pregnancy! Totally normal. Make sure you're comfortable with your doctor and hopefully you'll be able to rest a little easier knowing you're in good hands. Then you can think about all of the wonderful things that come with having twins! As I'm sure you'll hear, it won't be easy but it will be worth it

BabyKsMommy · December 2014

I think I felt the same way too. We knew we wanted two kids, maybe more. After 11 medicated IUI cycles I got pg. before the u/s at 7 wks I never even thought it was twins.

After the u/s I was so worried about everything. About losing one, my job, 2 of everything, bfing. But it has all fallen into place. It's not easy having 3 kids but it's worth it.

I'm sure you will get excited after a while. Maybe after you get out of the 1st tri.

chicory · December 2014

I haven't intro'd over here on multiples yet, but I know you from the other boards and just wanted to chime in with support. We are also expecting twins, though from IVF and we chose to put 2 embryos in. All through treatments, we were fine with the idea of twins. "We'd rather have 2 than none, etc, etc." Suddenly when it became real that they both stuck, I began having second thoughts. How in the world are we going to take care of two infants, two toddlers, two kids, two teenagers...etc?!? How will my body be able to handle the task of nourishing two fetuses? Was it a mistake to put two in? Are people gong to judge us? I know you're not going through all the same emotions, but many of the fears and anticipations are the same. I'm not worry free, but I have noticed that the more DH and I talk about them, and the more I consciously think about the things I am doing to take care of them (like in my head, I'll say, time to eat and feed the twins, or DH will ask "how are the blueberries (insert appropriate item for size comparison) doing today?) the more I connect with them and the less fear I have. I am sure the worries never go away, but for me as I start to "connect" with them, I become more excited.

ronniesgirl1981 · December 2014

Thank you for sharing that @chicory‌. I'm having quite a bit of guilt for feeling this way. I know the me of 6 months ago, getting canceled again and getting the DE speech would be horrified of this me. I find myself mourning things like breastfeeding. How in the world do women breastfeed twins? We both probably just need to be gentle with ourselves.

chicory · December 2014

@ronniesgirl1981‌ oh, the breastfeeding! When I had that realization (that I was getting 2 babies but no extra boobs) I definitely had a little meltdown. The idea of BFing was (and still is) important to me, and I was immediately filled with feelings of doom, even this early. I've gradually come to terms (and have lurked and read a lot here and elsewhere) that I am still going to try BFing, but not to expect myself to exclusively provide for them. Maybe I'll just do it for as long as I can and try to reap the benefits of being close with the babies, then pump and supplement, or just formula feed if I have to.. Pre-pregnant, I had also toyed with the idea of cloth diapering. It took about a half a second after hearing both embryos stuck to toss that idea out the window. I mean, I know few people CD newborns anyway, but even when they get bigger...I already know I'm going to use every spare nanosecond in the next several years for anything OTHER than laundry if I can avoid it! You put it well...be gentle with yourself!

fjamil1 · December 2014

@ronniesgirl1981‌ , and @chicory‌. I haven't intro here yet, but was also on the IF board. We also transferred two embryos thinking at least one will stick. but both stuck around. Now I wonder about the same things you are thinking. I breastfed my DD for 4 months and couldn't do it anymore and now with twins how will I BF at once, who is going to help me. what will I do at nights. How will I take three kids out in the cold. how will I get two babies ready at once. I always missed something when packing my DD bag, but now it is going to be two.

zazu13 · December 2014

I missed this intro, but just read your update on IFV and wanted to tell you how terribly sorry I am. I wish there was anything to take your hurt away. Hugs, my friend.

vpine · December 2014

I can relate, we were successful with FET. We assumed even though 2 embryos were transferred that only one would implant, if we were lucky. I was floored when my beta was high and when we saw the 2 sacs on ultrasound. I was in serious panic for the first few days especially when I started looking at formula and diaper prices. Now I'm glad that it's 2 girls, I imagine them playing with each other, being there for each other during tough times, not being lonely or having older siblings to boss them around. The RE always mentioned twin possibility with IUI and IVF but I never thought it would happen to me, perhaps because of the yrs we had been trying or the stories of other women who would transfer 2-3 and only one would stick.

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Intro from PAIF: Identical Twins

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