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Tips on weaning a stubborn toddler

littledaisieslittledaisies member
in Attachment Parenting
I'm ready to stop BF my 19 month old son. He absolutely loves nursing but I'm ready to stop.  I love nursing but I feel like he's been constantly asking for it and I'd like to stop before we start TTC again.  Another reason is I will be going on a business trip in 2 weeks and cannot bring him with me. I don't want that to be the weaning time. 

Any tips to make it go along quicker? He has tantrums when I tell him no so I end up giving in. 

I've tried the Jay Gordon method for him at night but ended up doing the cold turkey method for the night feedings.  He would have full out tantrums when I said stopped nursing or cut the time. Kicking, screaming and even biting. One night he bit me and my husband after I told him very nicely,  "no more boobies they went night night". I felt bad because I ended up yelling but saying in a firm voice, "NO BOOBIES!" and to my surprise he stopped his tantrum and laid back in bed.  I'm not sure if I should use the same approach for daytime feedings. I feel really bad doing that but when I tell him no nicely or say no more boobies he has a complete meltdown. 


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Re: Tips on weaning a stubborn toddler

  • Mrs.AmyDylanMrs.AmyDylan member
    Ummm...join the club? DD is 2 this week and still going strong. However, she only nurses 3-4x/ day.

    I have no advice. I think when you start talking about weaning, they cling even harder. Good luck!
    TTC Since 3/2010
    Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
    Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
    Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
    IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
    ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
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    Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
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    Baby girl J arrived two weeks early! Born into water, med-free. Hooray for Team Pink!

    TTC #2 - back to the RE, treatment started 12/2014. 

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  • neverblushedneverblushed member
    edited December 2014
    If your nursing sessions tend to follow a pattern, I'd work to eliminate one session at a time, starting with the session that he seems least attached to.

    If he's bellying up to the milk bar off and on all day, whenever he wants a snuggle or a snack, I'd pick a time of day when he's most active and busy and designate that as a time when "the boobies are resting now."  Lengthen the time every few days until he's weaned.

    It's pretty natural that he'll be disappointed, frustrated, and angry when you tell him "no boobies."  And when one year olds feel that way, they usually express it by having a tantrum.  Remind yourself that there's nothing bad about a tantrum.  Your child having a tantrum doesn't mean you're not handling weaning in a gentle, supportive, AP-friendly manner.  It's just indicative that your child has an opinion about weaning that's different than yours, and a tantrum is his way of expressing his opinion.  In my experience, the best way to handle tantrums like this is to ignore them.  Pretty much anything else you do only fuels the tantrum.  Giving in and nursing him will stop the current tantrum but add MAJOR fuel to the next one, because he'll come to realize that when you say "no" you can still be convinced to change your mind. 

    Try not to feel guilty or emotional about your toddler's tantrums.  You've made a decision to wean, and you know what's best for your family.  This is just the first of many times when you'll have to disappoint your child by saying "no."  You can still be a gentle and supportive parent when you say "no" to your toddler or even an older child.

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member
    edited December 2014
    Distraction! What neverblushed said, try to break the association between x place and time and nursing. Relegate nursing to one place only. If he is asking for it, try to hold him off by doing something different, or tell him he can in a little bit, and see if f he drops it. I also used tiny cookies when I was cutting out sessions w my first son - I'd give him one and then we'd go do something different. He also might be hungry, so you could offer him a snack when he asks. The business trip might be helpful for cutting back, but I wouldn't plan on total weaning in two weeks.
    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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  • littledaisieslittledaisies member
    Thanks everyone for the advice! The only pattern he has is feeding before bed and in the middle of the night. The other times are random throughout the day.  My first plan is to completely stop the night feeding. I've been working on that now.  I'm down to one feeding.  I will work on the others during the day. I like the cookie idea. Once we have removed night and day feedings than the feeding before bed will go. Thanks guys!
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