••TTCAL Newbie Check-in 12/22/14••

rslh10 · December 2014

Welcome to TTC After Loss. I'm so sorry for your loss but am happy you have found us. ((hugs)) This board is full of brilliant and kind women who have experienced the hardship of losing that which is most precious, and I hope you find great comfort and support here in your journey!

For those of you so new that you don't know the routine, this is a check-in for newer members of the TTCAL Board. It will be posted every Monday. Please feel free to use this space to ask those "newbie" questions that feel intimidating to ask on the main board and I will try my best to get you an answer. You have up to 48 hours to respond to the check-in. If you miss this time frame, please do not bump up the check-in, just PM me and I will include you for next week.

As of 12/8/14 there is now a ONE MONTH time limit for being part of the check-in. If you have been here for more than 4 check-ins please let me know, and I will not include you in the following weeks post.

**Please don't feel that you have to provide individual feedback to all of the posters ahead of you. Many do and it's great, but it's most definitely not required to be a part of this check-in. I'd just hate to think people might feel intimidated and not post because of this. All posts and responses are welcomed!**

Please take the time to read the TTCAL blog to answer any questions you may have regarding our board etiquette, TTC, miscarriage & loss, and much more: https://ttcalblog.wordpress.com/ If you are a check-in regular and get a BFP, please PM me so that I can add it to the weekly check-in with a warning for other members. If I don't get a PM, I will not mention your BFP on the check-in.

Finally, if you haven't done so, please post your introduction on the main board including your story. Everyone wants to get to know you. This a community; We give support to get support. Join in!

***If you do not see your name, it’s because you didn’t check in last week, just join in this week and I’ll add you!***

Weekly Update: How are you doing? Post an update including any news, thoughts, or questions - let me know how things are going for you! If you don’t see your name, it’s only because you didn’t check in last week. Feel free to join in this week!

Individual Updates:

@Towerclimberswife—How are you this week? Any signs of AF? I haven't been around this past week too much so I’m sorry if I missed any updates with you. Sadly this has to be your last check in here. I’m so sorry to see you leave, and I’m looking forward to one final update from you.

@sweetcallittc1—SO happy to hear that AF came! What else is going on this week?

@kingscross145—This is also your last week posting with us! I’m so sad more of you are leaving me. How are you this week? What are your plans moving forward? I’m looking forward to one last update from you.

@Cherish1986—Did you end up house hunting? Sadly this is your last check-in with the newbs. I wish you well, and am looking forward to one final update from you! See you on the main board.

@MrsBPhotographer—Any confirmation of O yet? How are you this week? So hard to believe but this is your last check in here too! Looking forward to hearing your update, and seeing you on the main board.

@CC1017—When is your MFM appt? How are you holding up this week?

@Rcvb22—Did you finally figure out the gif code? (Test it here!) How are you feeling this week?

@laurenleigh17—Have you still been taking OPK’s? Any signs of O, or AF?((hugs)) I know it’s frustrating!

@terrissa89—When is your specialist appt? Any signs of AF?

@mholmes92—Do you use FF to temp? Do you have a link to your chart? We love stalking peoples charts here I’m so glad your Husband will be home for a week. Enjoy your holiday with him.

@NOBB14—How are you feeling this week? I know you were struggling with some serious emotional pain last week. So many ((hugs)) to you, love.

@Nicnackmama—How are you feeling this week? Has work gotten a little easier for you?

@sdfonz619—Any news on how the cycles are going? Are they going to line up, or not this round? Any more talk of a back up donor?

QOTW -What are your Holiday Plans? This is going to be me, probably.

PinkCamino · December 2014

:-h

imnotfancy · December 2014

:-h yesterday sucked as bad as the day before. Triggers are still strong. My mom showed me a short devotional that she thought I would like. Part of it talked about when the lady first held her daughter at the hospital and blah, blah, blah. I was in a horrible mood the rest of the evening. She told me she was thinking of my sister when she read it. I know she wasn't even thinking about my mc, but it still just made me sad to read it.

I passed some moderate sized clots for the first time yesterday. I'm 17 days post d&c. There hasn't been any other increased bleeding so I bet it is just part of the process. I talked to DH about how the bleeding is this constant reminder to me of our lost baby and how I think I'll feel better when the bleeding stops.

On a good note, I'm ecstatic the Cowboys won!! Football was the only good thing that happened this weekend.

I really thought I'd enjoy being at my parents house this weekend with my brother and sister and their families. But it sucked and I didn't. I'm no longer looking forward to going to my IL on Wednesday. I usually love going to visit family.

rslh10 · December 2014

PinkCamino said:
:-h

:-h

NOBB14 · December 2014

@rslh10‌ thanks for posting the check in!! :-) hi everyone, hoping you are all managing this week with little stress!

I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster- one minute I'm all gung-ho about trying again (I O this week), ready to start charting and temping and mondo sexy time with MH, the next I experience one shitty trigger and can hardly crawl out of bed. I have reached out to a few therapists to start treatment, but I think my timing is of and they're all on vacation for the holiday because I can't get a hold of any of them- super frustrating! I'll probably try again next week when things settle down.

I'll be driving to the homeland (NJ) tomorrow night after work to spend Christmas with my father, sister, BIL, & MH with some visits to extended family. Gonna need the cases of wine we have bought to share because...

TowerClimbersWife · December 2014

@rslh10 - Thanks for the check in.

@imnotfancy - Sorry you're not having as much fun with the holidays as you usually do. No fun. I felt like my loss was a mix of layers of feeling relief and sadness at different stages. The stopping of bleeding was defiantly a stage of relief. T&P you get there soon!

This is a bonus for me! I thought last week was my last.

Things are going okay. I think AF might be on her way. I had some signs of ovulation through checking CM, but I wasn't temping. I started temping for a few days and my temps were above 98, which leads me to believe I have ovulated. If my calculations are correct AF should be showing up any day now.

I've been traveling for the last couple days to see family. Now we are hunkered down in vacation from work land. My family does a big dinner for Christmas Eve, then my mom comes to my house in the morning on Christmas, then MH's family comes over for a late lunch. We are the only ones in our family that decorate so they come to our house. Pretty excited about that!

(((hugs))) to everyone throughout the holidays!

cherish1986 · December 2014

I'm pretty sad this is my last check in, @rslh10‌ . I did infact go house hunting. Saw some beautiful homes and some not so beautiful homes. I did find one that "hugged" me but it's right at the top of our budget so I'm trying to find something similar.
My DH comes this week for Christmas so I'm super excited to see him. We have to do 2 Christmases which I'm not excited about at all, because we told everyone on thanksgiving that I was pregnant and here we are about a month later and I'm dreading all the sad looks and I'm sorrys. So we'll see. Not really in the Christmas spirit, but oh well.

Still waiting on AF...

imnotfancy · December 2014

@TowerClimbersWife‌ thank you! I hope AF shows for you soon! (I think I'm reading that right because you need AF to move forward right? It feels really weird wishing AF for someone... Haha)

@cherish1986‌ fx AF comes soon for you too. I'm so happy YH is coming home soon! I can't imagine what a relief and comfort it will be to be with him again. I love the pics you found.... They sum be up perfectly too. I was the only one drinking yesterday... So the "drunk without them knowing" was me yesterday. Haha

CC1017 · December 2014

Thanks for the check-in. I've got a lot going on this week. Life always seems to kick you when you're down.

We found out last week that our dog might have lymphoma. All her lymph nodes are swollen so the vet did some initial bloodwork and we have to take her back to get one of her lymph nodes aspirated for additional testing. If it is lymphoma, the prognosis is not good, even if we did spend thousands on chemo (which we decided we won't do).

On the TTCAL front, I got my period. I guess it's nice to know that my body has recovered, but I was kind of hoping AF would hold off a little longer. Now I'm in a place where my body and mind aren't sync'd. So now I have to conciously TTA because my mind isn't ready yet. I see the MFM next week.

QOTW: Ugh holidays. Just my mom is coming over. She will be saving Christmas for us because DH and I both really slacked on the shopping this year.

NOBB14 · December 2014

Ohhh no!!! @CC1017‌ puppy prayers for your bub. Hope everything is ok, keep us posted!

mholmes92 · December 2014

Hello every one, yes I do use FF. I JUST started temping though and after my loss I completely stopped charting my cycles. I didn't remember what day CD 1 was, it's currently at a guesstimate. When I figure out how to link from the app I will do so.

How does every one REMEMBER to temp? I can barely even remember my name until I've had coffee.

My holiday plans: open presents with SOs family on Christmas Eve, pancakes for dinner, monkey bread for Christmas breakfast then opening presents by ourselves Christmas morning. Then SOs parents are coming back over for Christmas dinner.

CC1017 · December 2014

@imnotfancy I'm sorry your triggers are still so bad. I hope your bleeding stops soon. Good luck at the in-laws.

@NOBB14 Don't those damn therapists know people NEED them this time of year? I hope you get in touch with one soon.

rslh10 · December 2014

@CFearsy‌

Thank you so so much!!! :x

nicnackmama · December 2014

@rslh10 - Thanks for the check-in. Work's getting a little easier. Thanks for asking. I hope everything is okay with you! ::hugs::

@CFearsy thanks for helping with our check-in today.

@imnotfancy - I'm sorry you're having a rough time. ::hugs:: I know personally it helped me once the bleeding stopped, I hope it helps you too. ::more hugs::

@NOBB14 - I think I might be riding that same roller coaster... GL finding a therapist, I hope you are able to find a good match after the holidays.

@TowerClimbersWife - I hope that AF shows soon for you. And that you and DH are able to enjoy your vacation time together. Your Christmas plans sound busy but fun.

@cherish1986 - I'm glad that you were able to find some nice houses. I hope you're able to find the right one soon. Yay, that YH is coming home soon. I luv your ecards - too funny and SO true!

@CC1017 - ::hugs:: I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. T&P for you as you go through that. I'm glad to hear that your mom will be able to help out with Christmas.

@Rcvb22 - I hope you are able to enjoy the time with your parents for the holidays.

@mholmes92 - My "trick" to remember to temp is I set an quiet alarm on my phone 15 min before my regular alarm and set my thermometer on top of the phone. I roll over take my temp while still half asleep and log it when I wake back up. GL

AFM -

This past week was easier than then one before. But as other PP said, it's kind of a roller coaster, some days are easier than others.

I'm really ready for the holidays to be over... I normally love Christmas, but am just not feeling it this year. We didn't decorate or buy presents for anyone over 18, between that and the lack of snow/cold it just doesn't feel like the holidays at our house.

We have a few get togethers planed this week with family, but it I think I'll just be going through the motions, to get through it.

My personal goal for the next few weeks is to try and focus on the positive. I tend to easily over dwell on the negative and I know that's not going to help me...

Lots and lots of ::hugs:: to all you wonderful ladies!!

bfonz619 · December 2014

Fortunately, it worked out better than expected even though the days not knowing what was happening with the other recipient brought on a little more stress than I would have liked. As far as having a back up donor, we are still discussing and weighing our options in that area. It definitely seems like a good idea but really depends as to whether we can find another person that matches our desires in a donor. FX there aren't any issues going forward.

bumpuser10605721 · December 2014

Hey @rslh10 ! that kitty pic....bahahahaha, loves.

All around I'm good! pretty positive I'm CD 19 - 4 DPO - based on CM and OPK - I know there is know for sure without temping but I got 2 days of pos OPK and fertile CM as usual when I ovulate. I think I updated last week that my doctors appointment went well, was told to start trying when we wanted, take folic acid (I never stopped) and that what I thought was my period 3 weeks post op (5 since onset of MC) most likely was. DH and I had sex for the first time post op last Wednesday and everything was fine physically and emotionally, which I was happy about because I was worried about the emotional part. And just happened to be good timing if I indeed O'ed.

I was definitely in denial and pretty much doubted a positive OPK while it was obvious, thank god for my co-worker begin all "seriously?....its positive, its blatantly positive"

Holiday plans are BUSY, I'm feeling much better about the holidays then I was only a few weeks ago. Basically It's just family family and more family Wednesday and Thursday and lots of free food. I have a massage tonight after work - yyyeeesssss and then hopefully going to see Christmas light's in the park (big park in a town near us that gets decked out in lights and such) tomorrow night. I'm off work Wed,Thurs,Friday both this week and next so looking forward to the break!

Dang it! my last week

sad sad day

TowerClimbersWife · December 2014

Heyyyy @CFearsy

>-
Yupppp last week here. Works good though because my first AF after MC is showing up, so I feel like it is a good symbolic sign off! Thanks for stepping in to support all of us. You're a rock star.

@NOBB14 Sorry you're dealing with the roller coaster emotions! That can stink for sure. If you're cleared for light exercise, make sure you are getting up and moving some each day. That can really help fight depression and depressive feelings. Keep at it lady. You'll get through! PM me if you ever need anything!

@cherish1986 Good luck with the family over the holidays. I hope they are all sensitive to your feelings. You'll do great!

@imnotfancy You got it right! First AF after MC, so I'm actually pretty excited my cycle is turning out to be not far off from what it was before.

@CC1017 I'm so sorry to hear about your fur baby! Sending you T&P that everything is fine. It is so hard when pets get sick because they are with us for such a sort time in the grand scheme of things.

@Rcvb22 Glad you were able to sort out some of your feelings about AF. I'm pretty much in the same boat. One more milestone met... check that off the list and figure out what to do next. Good luck with temping! It is hard to remember anything in the morning!

@mholmes92 My phone lets me name my alarms and it shows up on my screen when the alarm goes off. Maybe your phone can do this too?

@nicnackmama I like your idea of focusing on the positive things! I'll PM you something I've done in the past that has been really great. Sorry the holidays aren't feeling quite right for you this year.

@sdfonz619 Good luck with finding a donor if needed. Gotta keep those standards high!

@kingscross145 Enjoy that massage! I have to admit that I'm a little jealous! Also, enjoy that vacation time! I gotta say vacation is my favorite!

Okay... out with a bang! I've enjoyed hanging with you ladies. See ya on the main board!

cherish1986 · December 2014

@CFearsy‌ - yes this was our (my) first go around looking at houses. My dh hasn't been able to go with me but we are going my birthday weekend. I feel in love with this kitchen (see picture below.. Oh noes it's upside down! ) it way under our budget and in a historic home and that just what we want
@nicnackmama‌ and @TowerClimbersWife‌ thanks for checking in on me... So sad in leaving.
Hoping all of your holidays go well.
Hugs for you sweet ladies... He's adorable.. And squishy looking

!

bfonz619 · December 2014

@cfearsy, Thank you.

mholmes92 · December 2014

Ok I've tried finding it of FF lessons and I don't even know where to look. I tried chart stalking but couldn't really see a pattern...

How do you figure your cover lines?

MrsBPhotographer · December 2014

@rslh10 I can't believe it's been that long already! Thank you for being so welcoming and supportive!

Feeling pretty positive that I'm on the better side of my cycle and pretty close to AF. This past week has been pretty crazy between trips, graduation for my master's, and family stuff. I'm hoping to be better about keeping up with the main board this week!

Holiday Plans: Same as you! Lots of delicious food!! ...and family of course!

imnotfancy · December 2014

@mholmes92‌ I put my thermometer on top of my phone just like CFearsy and it works like a charm. It gets easier after the habit starts forming.

@CC1017 I'm so sorry about your dog

BIG ((hugs))

@CFearsy‌ thank you for your reassurance! I'm Not too worried about the clots because I haven't had any more since... Maybe it was just what my body needed to get rid of and finally stop bleeding. They were about the size of a one-dimensional golf ball. I'm not light-headed, no fever, and just check my blood-pressure- all good, so no symptoms of anything being wrong. I'm have my OBs personal cell # so if I have one more show up then I will text him.

@cherish1986‌ that's a super cute kitchen. I love the space on top of the cabinets to put decorations... My kitchen lacks this and it makes me sad.

Kingscross gave me a great idea and I called and scheduled a message for tomorrow morning. Wow... I'm way too excited. Hope yours is awesome @kingscross145

Thank you to everyone for all the hugs! I'm feeling much love.

I'm also happier now that I finally went and got my necklace that symbolizes this journey. The heart kept falling upside down and I thought I might exchange it for a different charm. But then it started to grow on me... It's like a "broken" heart since it keeps falling upside down. And now I think I love it. I also think the double chain necklace is so cool... It adds an interesting layer. The bottom heart has a mother and child inside it.

nicnackmama · December 2014

@sdfonz619 - I'm glad everything worked out with the other recipient. FX for you!

@kingscross145 - I too was worried about the emotional aspect of sex after our loss. FX that your timing worked well. Hope you enjoy the lights in the park.

@TowersClimbersWife - Please PM me anytime

@CFearsy - Thanks, I think the R&R with DH will be good for us both. ::hugs:: to you too!

@sweetcalittc1 - I love that idea of DH giving you the BBT every morning.

@MRSBPhotographer - Congrats on your graduation!! Hope you enjoy all of that delicious food.

laurenleigh17 · December 2014

Thanks for the check-in @rslh10!

@mholmes92‌ - I have an alarm set for 5:55 everyday on my phone, which is right by my bed with my bbt sitting right next to it. It took a few months to get in the habit, but now it's second nature! Just try your best to remember and eventually it will become as routine as brushing your teeth!

@imnotfancy‌ - love the necklaces and their meaning!

@cherish1986‌ - I'm glad to hear your husband will be here for the holidays! Hopefully that will make things easier for you. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts!!

@MrsBPhotographer‌ - congrats of getting your master's degree! I'm glad to hear you have been feeling more positive lately

@CC1017‌ - I'm sorry to hear about your puppy! FX for good news!

@nicnackmama‌ - I'm right there with you with the lack of holiday cheer! I'm trying to focus on the positive too and just enjoy this break from work.

AFM, I'm on CD 32 and still no ovulation. I've had tons of EWCM, but no positive OPK and no temp spike. My cycle is usually 35 days so I'm hoping my period will start and I can just chalk this up to a wonky post mc anovulatory cycle. Which sucks because everyone's like "I hear you're actually more fertile after a mc!" Whatev.

One big thing happened this week that I'd like your feedback on (warning - this is long and ranty) So one of my best friends is pregnant (literally got preg on her wedding night. They were using condoms as BC but decided not to use them for the wedding night, which was also their first time having sex. Now she's 28 weeks....) Anyway, since I helped plan her wedding showers (with 3 other girls) they assumed I would want to help plan her baby shower as well. I said yes because I do want to celebrate with her and support her. 2 of the co-hosts live in apartments and the other is pregnant and due the week before the shower, so it was decided that the shower should be at my house. I am OK with hosting it, but there is some stuff I just can't handle right now, like the cutesy games and decorations and CONSTANT texts with pictures of invites and baby things. So, after feeling like shit about this shower for the past 2 weeks, I decided to let the other hosts know how I was feeling. I sent out an email letting them know that since my mc I have been struggling with a lot of anger and sadness, and that certain parts of planning the shower are just too difficult for me. I said that I didn't need them to do anything differently, just that I wanted to be honest and let them know how hard it is for me. Within a few hours 2 of the girls had called me and offered to take over anything I needed. However, it has been almost a week and I haven't heard a word from the 3rd host (the one who's pregnant ironically....) So I thought that was kind of insensitive on her part.... Am I just being overly sensitive?

Sorry for the world's longest post! Thanks so much for your support girls!!

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