Dividing "baby duty"

heids4787 · December 2014

Now that A14 babies are around 7-9 months old, I'm curious about who takes care of DD/DS in your household and how much of the time after work hours. Comment if you or SO work FT/PT or SAH.

hordol · December 2014

I did 40% mom and 60% dad. It's pretty equal during the day but DH takes care of a lot of the night wakings. He is wonderful.

heids4787 · December 2014

I voted 75:25 (Mom)... I work three days per week, wake up with DD every morning and drop off/ pick up at DC, feed her when I get home from work, bath time, etc, etc. I took on more "baby duty" while my DH's work and school schedule got nuts, but now I'm ready to start splitting time more equally since his MBA is completed.

Every time I ask DH to give DD a bottle or play with her for a bit, it's like I asked him to complete the most difficult task ever. I wanted to TP him last night when he almost didn't get up to feed DD at 1:30 am and then he had the nerve to ask, "what do I do?" WTF?? She wasn't born yesterday!

Your comments and vents will be a huge help to me. Thank you in advance!!

edoliesmom · December 2014

I said 60 mom 40 dad, but it's probably more like 68/32? The number just feels right. 75/25 seemed too low and unfair on his side. I'm a SAHM, so I didn't really factor that in. On weekends and evenings he helps quite a bit.

bacorrea · December 2014

DH is deployed, so 100% for now. I joke I will be going on a week vacation by myself when he gets back.

Teresa1896 · December 2014

I voted 75 mom/25 dad. I do almost everything kid related. DH will occasionally pick up extra chores around the house to help out. Right now he's cleaning my kitchen while the kids play in the living room, while I lay in bed. :-)

ambarnett1 · December 2014

I said 75/25 mom, but it's more like 85/15. I love DH dearly and he works his tail off, but I don't have any help unless asked and even then it's less than 2 hours a night that he could help. It is what it is. I'm lucky to be able to spend my days with DS.

porterlove525 · December 2014

100 mom Monday-Friday 3-4 weeks of every month. 75 mom/25 dad on the weekends and very few weekdays that DHisnt traveling for work.

Tferr02 · December 2014

75/25. I'm a SAHM and he works past bedtime on Mon and Tues. He will help on the weekends, but it's hard for him. He does a lot more with the toddler on the weekend.

UnofficiallyLO · December 2014

I would say 60/40. I stay at home but once SO is home he's all about holding, playing with, changing DS. He bathes him every night and now that he takes formula I get a few hours to myself every week or so. I am very thankful! He does dishes too :x

MissWhis · December 2014

When he's working it's close to 100% mom, simply because his days are so long he's not home much.

But he is off work for long stretches sometimes, too, and it's much more balanced then. Right now he has the whole month of December off and I'm a SAHM so it's more like 50 mom/50 dad. I BF and am the one who gets multiple wake ups a night as a result, but he does so much more cleaning around the house than I do. He also does her bath and bedtime routine and most of the diapers.

momofmanyinthemitten · December 2014

LO BFs, doesn't take a bottle, so she's all mine for bedtime and MOTN. The other 2 are mostly DH's at night, especially if I sleep with baby in the guest bed. We do bath all together and we each take a baby for bedtime. Whoever finishes first, puts DD1 to bed. He's helpful with the kids, it's all the household duties that I have a hard time getting him to help with.

olenkapdx · December 2014

It's pretty 50/50. My SO is a PT SAHD, otherwise I'd probably feel like more responsibility was on me.

Bluebird2318 · December 2014

DH works and I stay at home, so it's basically 100% me, but that includes days he has off. He will step in on some things if I ask him to.

zazu13 · December 2014

60-40 when we are both home, but right now its 100% mom because he has a "man cold".

( i work pt, him ft). He is alone with them twice during the week while I work but they are usually asleep most of that time. I do night wakings and get up early to get bottles unless I ask him to help ( he wont wake on his own.) He is very hands on when he is home from work, but I still do more. He won't feed them solids or do baths. He is usually only home at night for less than an hour before bed but he changes them, reads stories and gets them in bed while I clean up and fix dinner.

Rrrrrachel · December 2014

I answered for when we are both home. I do a lot more overall because I'm home a lot more than him.

AmberLiz99 · December 2014

75:25 (mom) seems the closest. I stay at home with both kids, but work from home part time, as well as working on Saturdays. Dh doesn't do nights if either kid gets up, and he doesn't really do bedtime, bath time, etc. He sometimes plays with both kids after dinner so I can do dishes, or if I have a headache, but it's mostly me or all of us together. The split has kind of increased since dh just started a new really busy job. I expect him to start multitasking better once he gets used to the new work/hours again.

bpatrick0809 · December 2014

Ours is pretty 50 50... He gets up at 4:40 for work so I do all morning stuff.. He pics all 3 kids up and does his things with them till I get home at 5 then I usually take care of this kids and he cooks supper. I like doing bein with them when I am home guess I am kind of selfish

I have a sweet obsession with my baby boy!

Twirple · December 2014

I said 60/40 mom. It is much more even now than when we just had one. I get DD ready in the morning, he gets DS ready. I do daycare drop off, he does pickup and is alone with them for 1.5 hours until I get home, though I pickup early on Fridays. Night wakings are divided between us. If she's hungry, I'll handle them, but if she just wants snuggles, he gets her. Same with weekends, we take turns getting up with the kids so that we can each have a morning to sleep in. The biggest discrepancy is that I BF, and pump at work. When we are at home together, I do 100% of the feedings.

Talltrees82 · December 2014

I said 75/25 mom, but it's because if something needs to be done, I'll just do it. I really try to not be that nagging wife who just hands off bébé as soon as he gets in the door. DH is totally willing to help out in anyway and has no problem watching LO while I go out or need to do stuff. I just need to speak up more when I need help and he's home and not try to take it all on myself.

Jenn06L80 · December 2014

We both work. I work more hours in the week and have a longer day. DH gets all 3 girls up four days a week and does daycare drop offs. He also picks the girls up from daycare and has them at home for about an hour before I get home.

I do everything related to the girls getting up in the middle of the night. When we are both home it is me that does all the childcare.

I said 60 me 40 him.

chichi589 · December 2014

I said 60/40 but i do way more cleaning cooking laundry when I'm home. He will take care of him and does a great job but when I'm home he lets me do most of it. He would do it but he needs so much direction as @Vinny424‌ said its way more annoying then just doing it myself. He doesn't complain about me doing stuff after work or going out with friends or to appts so it works.

RedDawnsRevenge · December 2014

75% mom I work FT or more now but was a SAHM for 6 months. DH watches them when I'm at work if he's home, otherwise my mom/sister watch the girls.

Dixon813 · December 2014

I said 60 (me) 40 (DH) because j wouldn't say it's evenly split (mostly because of breastfeeding and I'm more proactive than he is) but DH takes care of MOTN stuff unless it's time for liam to eat.

hlm184 · December 2014

I said 75 me, but that only applies when he is home and not working ridiculous hours, which he does a lot. I sahm. When he is around, bedtime is his and he will pitch in but needs direction.

kmos816 · December 2014

I think I do between 60-75%; we both work but I do most of the baby stuff unless he is asked. I do have a less demanding job and work from home; so I'm able to get some chores done while taking a quick break from work.

JWest07 · December 2014

I voted 75 me 25 h, but I would say he does 75 with DS1. Just the way it works out with a bf baby and the fact that neither of them go to bed easily.

cjpell0 · December 2014

We both work FT and DS is bf, so it's somewhere in the 65(me) 35(him) range? I do all the laundry, preparing DSs food and feeding (except dinner). DH does all of our cooking and he does all the outdoor cooking. We try to alternate diapers and bathtimes, but I'm not sure how even it truly ends up. DH is awesome with our son; he has the next 2 weeks off, daycare is closed and I have to work so he's planning "mans week" with him

Charlotte51 · December 2014

I said 75 M / 25 D but it's probably more like 85 M / 15 D

DH and I both work, I do more hours in the office but his job is more stressful. When we're home from work and on weekends he'll play for a few minutes here and there but I do the vast majority of fun (play, sing, dance) and not so fun but mandatory stuff (baths, diaper changes, feedings).

Hoping it will get a bit more equal in the New Year...

Mrs.Kohalic17 · December 2014

I did 60% me 40% dad, we both work FT & I have nursing school FT, I do any/all night time duties unless I wake him up to help but 99% I just do it.

Kyllarae · December 2014

100% me 100% of the time. Her dad lives so far away (he's on the west coast and we are new englanders) so he doesn't care for her physically. When he is with her though I usually just leave them to do whatever he wants while I get stuff done and only intervene if I'm needed.